Unexpected feelings
by MoonlightMarauder
Summary: Completed. After the incident on the Astronomy Tomer, Hermione is offered a position as a potions assistant and it leads further than expected. Sequel to Something to live for, I recommend you read that first. SSHG. Written preHBP.
1. Potions assistant

A/n: This is a sequel to "Something to live for", which I recommend you read before this story. I apologize if it's terribly cliché and OOC. I don't want it to be too fluffy either, at least not until the end.

I don't have a beta-reader and English is not my native language, so there might be some grammatical errors and such. If so, I'm sorry. Rating because of suicide themes, swearing and such. It might change later, I don't know yet. Italics means thoughts.

Constructive criticism very much appreciated, so please review!

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want everything from Harry Potter to belong to me, it unfortunately does not (yet -I'm allowed to dream, right?). It belongs to wonderful J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected Feelings**

_When did this happen? When did these thoughts of.. gratitude turn into something else_?

Hermione did not know. It was questions like these that kept invading her mind when she least expected or needed it.

_When did this infatuation begin?_

For what felt like the millionth time she shook her head and returned her attention to the essay she was writing. There was no point in dwelling on thoughts like that, it would only cause her to become even more confused. And it brought back that small pain in her chest.

_No. I can't think about that now. It will do me no good._

She dipped her quill in the ink pot and started writing. She was nearly finished with the essay and only needed to end it, but even though it shouldn't have taken her more than five minutes to write, no words seemed to come to mind. Irritated she threw down the quill, put her things away and walked out of the nearly empty common room. A bit of fresh air should help clear her mind.

_I just wish that everyone would stop treating me like I'm made of glass.. It's so frustrating! The teachers with their worried looks behind my back, the whispered comments in the Common room, the guilty eyes of my friends.. I wish that they would just forget about it._

Once outside she strolled to wards the lake. It was a beautiful April Sunday, the sun was shining and a fresh breeze made the trees in the Forbidden Forest rustle slightly. Several groups of students were either walking around the grounds or sitting at the lake, laughing and enjoying a small break from their studies. Without thinking about it Hermione walked away from the other students, unconsciously seeking the solitude of the edge of the forest.

* * *

Severus was gazing out of the window in the Headmaster's office, his eyes following the lone figure walking to wards the forest.

_There she is again.. Alone._

He furrowed his brow slightly, keeping his eyes on Hermione. Ever since that night he had found her in the Astronomy Tower a month previously.. Ever since that night were she had nearly jumped, he had watched her. Never so that she knew, but enough to make sure she was alright.

"Ah, Severus.. What brings you to my office on this fine Sunday?". The voice of the Headmaster cut through his thoughts and Severus turned to look at him. As the Headmaster walked over to his desk, Severus sat down in the chair in front of it.

"I would like to speak to you about one of the students, Albus."

"And who would that be, Severus? One of the members of your house? Or perhaps Ms. Granger?". A small smile grazed the lips of the Headmaster, and Severus couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed.

_Does he have to know everything?_

"It is about Ms. Granger. As you know, I have been keeping an eye on her since.. since I found her in the Astronomy Tower. And I must say that I have become a little concerned about her well-being. Although I am aware of the fact that she has.. spoken with her friends and they have apologized many times, she still seems.. sad."

Inwardly he cursed himself for not being more articulate. How could it be that the mere thought of a student could make it so difficult for him to speak properly?

The mere thought of a student whom he had told about his true feelings.

Told her that he loved her.

"Yes, I have been watching her myself. The feelings that brought her to the Tower are still within her, and even though I am fairly certain that she will not attempt suicide, I still fear that she will withdraw herself from her friends and those who care.". Dumbledore's face was serious, a sadness showing in his old features.

"Some friends they are..", Severus mumbled.

"As you said yourself, you know that they are sorry about their actions.".

"That would not have helped them much if Hermione had been too weak to realize her mistake and jumped!", Severus snapped. It took him a second to comprehend what he had just said.

_I shouted at Albus. I called her Hermione. Bloody hell.._

A small twinkle returned to the Headmaster's eyes, and he chuckled slightly before saying: "I one did not know better, they would say that you seem to.. favor this particular Gryffindor.".

Severus glared at him and opened his mouth to say whatever snarling comment that came to mind, but Dumbledore held up his hand and said: "My apologies, Severus. I did not mean to offend you. In fact I am glad you care about her, and I would like to ask you to do something for me.".

_What the hell is he up to now? _

"What is it, Albus?".

"I would like you to offer Ms. Granger a position as an assistant."

"I beg your pardon?! And why on earth would I do that?".

"Because it would give you a chance to keep an eye on her. It would give her something to do, something to take her mind of things. It seems like Ms. Granger and her friends are having a difficult time, no doubt out of feelings of guilt. I am sure you have noticed that she spends much more time on her own?". Dumbledore said.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "That is true. I do not seem to be able to recall seeing with her friends more than once or twice lately. Still, I am not sure that me offering her a chance to become an assistant would help her. Perhaps it would do the opposite, as you know, my company is not generally thought of as being pleasant."

"That may be, but I would still like you to at least give it a try. If nothing else, please do it for my sake.".

_Dammit, Albus! Do not put me in this position! You know I cannot refuse.._

"Very, well, Albus. I will give it a try.". He got up and left the office, a scowl on his face.

_How on earth am I going to go through with this? I can barely look her in the eye._

* * *

That same evening a note was delivered to Hermione, requesting her presence in the potions classroom at nine o'clock. The thought made her quite nervous, but also immensely curious.

_I wonder what this is about? Snape has not looked me in the eyes since we were in the Hospital Wing. Since.. he told me he loved me. Did he mean it? Does he know about my.. feelings, if one could call them that?_

After bidding goodbye to her friends, she crawled out of the portrait hole. She could feel their eyes on her back, and she knew the looks in their eyes. Guilt. Regret. Wonder. It was the same look they always had when they looked at her lately.

_They probably feel guilty about the fight, and at the same time wonder over why it drove me so far. The same feelings I have._

She quickly reached the dungeons. Outside the classroom door she hesitated a moment before pulling herself together and knocking at the door. A deep voice said: "Enter."

"Good evening, professor Snape.". Hermione couldn't keep a slight edge of nervousness out of her voice.

"Please sit down, Ms. Granger. I will be with you in a moment.". Severus got up and walked over to a potions cabinet and rummaged around for a bit before returning to his seat at the desk, opposite Hermione.

"If I may ask, sir, why have you asked me to be here? Have I done something wrong?".

"No, Ms. Granger, it is an entirely different reason. As you probably are aware, you are one of the best students in my class, and therefore I have an offer for you.", Severus said, his voice void of the usual sneer.

_Did he just give me a compliment? Oh my.._

"Ms. Granger.. What would you say if I were to offer you a position as an assistant to me? It would be a couple of hours after school two or three days a week, and occasionally on Sundays. Not too much, you should be able to find time for your duties as Head girl and for your homework.".

For a moment Hermione just stared at her professor, not sure of whether she had heard correctly or not. Pulling herself together, she managed to ask: "Why, sir?"

_Yes, why? Why on earth would he offer me such a position? _

"As I said, you are one of the best students. It is also the hope of me, and the Headmaster, that it would do you some good.". It sounded like he was choosing his words very carefully, and a sudden realization hit her.

_They pity me.. And want to keep an eye on me._

A sudden anger flared in her and her voice was cold as she said: "Even though it is a most tempting offer, sir, I am not certain I can accept a position that is offered with an ulterior motive."

Hermione looked defiantly at her professor's reaction. For a brief second he froze, apparently at a complete loss of words. He then averted his eyes and said, in a somewhat strained voice: "Ms. Granger, I feel I must apologize if the.. statement I made in the Hospital Wing a month ago has embarrassed or concerned you. Please know that I would never act against your will, Ms. Granger-"

"It's all right, sir, that wasn't what I meant," Hermione cut him off, as she comprehended what he had thought she had meant. "I simply thought that this position had been offered to me out of pity.". After a second of hesitation she added: "And I know you would never do anything inappropriate.".

_How did this get in to the conversation??_

He sighed deeply and said: "I will not lie to you. This position has partly been offered to you out of concern and, as I said, with the hope of it doing you some good. I apologize if that offends you.".

Hermione couldn't hold a small smile back. "It doesn't. I know it's out of concern, it's just.. it takes a little while to get used to everyone keeping an eye on me..

Severus' expression softened slightly. "I know what you mean."

_He doesn't really look that bad without that scowl.. Hold on, where did that thought come from?? I better learn to control myself if I'm going to accept this offer._

"Sir.. I you don't mind I would like to have an opportunity to think this offer over. I am almost certain of my answer, but I would till like to be completely sure."

"Of, course. Would four days suffice? Until the next Potions class?".

"Yes, that would be fine.", Hermione nodded to herself.

_Shouldn't take me any longer to be certain._

"Then I will await your answer. Good evening, Ms. Granger."

"Good evening, professor, and.. thank you for the offer.". With a small smile she got up and left the class room, walking slowly along the corridor.

_Would it be wise for me to accept this offer? Snape did, after all, tell me that he loved me. Of course he wouldn't act on it, but still.. It would probably be quite awkward. Maybe I should ask someone for advice? But who? I could always go to Ron and Harry.. But they wouldn't understand. Especially not now._

Sighing she stopped at window and gazed out at the lawns of Hogwarts.

_I could always go to Dumbledore, he did say that I'm always welcome in his office if I wish to talk - though I already know what he'd say to me. I should probably stop thinking about this. Tomorrow it will be easier to get a hold of my thoughts._

She continued down the hall to wards Gryffindor Tower, determined to let her thoughts rest until the morning.


	2. The decision

A/n: This is a sequel to "Something to live for", which I recommend you read before this story. I apologize if it's terribly cliché and OOC. I don't want it to be too fluffy either, at least not until the end. I don't have a beta-reader and English is not my native language, so there might be some grammatical errors and such. If so, I'm sorry. Rating because of suicide themes, swearing and such. It might change later, I don't know yet. Italics means thoughts. Constructive criticism very much appreciated, so please review!

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want everything from Harry Potter to belong to me, it unfortunately does not (yet -I'm allowed to dream, right?). It belongs to wonderful J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –2**

"I must have been insane to even consider offering her that position..". Severus murmured to himself as he hurried to ward the dungeons.

"Well, Albus certainly is. Damn that meddlesome old fool!"

Despite the immense respect Severus had for the Headmaster, he often found that he hated the way Dumbledore would drop extremely annoying little comments. The staff meeting he had just attended was no exception. As if it wasn't enough that the Headmaster had forced Severus to ask Ms. Granger to become his assistant, he had also announced it at the staff meeting. It made no difference that Severus had protested and said that Ms. Granger actually hadn't accepted yet, everyone of his colleagues had congratulated him on his new assistant. Furthermore, every single one had looked at him in a way that clearly said that they did not think him capable of even considering asking someone who weren't a Slytherin.

_They even had the nerve to make 'subtle' threats!_

In fact, all of his colleagues had in one way or the other made it clear to him that he had better behave around his assistant. Even Remus Lupin, who had been reinstated as Defense against the Dark Arts professor and usually wouldn't utter a single word of threat to anyone, had told him quite clearly what to expect if he did not treat Ms. Granger well.

_As if I did not know that! She bloody well nearly attempted suicide a month ago, I'm not too daft to know she might be vulnerable. Although it's not like they are helping her much by their over-protectiveness._

He sometimes thought that he could see it in her eyes –that little gleam of annoyance everytime someone cast her a worried look. It seemed like everyone had forgotten that she had changed her mind before actually trying to jump.

A couple of third-year Hufflepuffs hurried out of his way as he crossed the Entrance Hall and he shot them a malevolent sneer before heading down into the dungeons, still lost in his thoughts about his potential assistant.

* * *

Wednesday evening Hermione still had not made up her mind, and it kept her from falling asleep. Everytime she came to a conclusion, a new question or concern came to mind and left her just as confused as she had been before. She was sitting in her private bedroom, on of the perks of being Head Girl, staring into the fire when a soft knock on the door brought her out of her reverie.

_Wonder who that could be –it's almost midnight. _

She walked to the door and opened it. Outside stood Ginny Weasley.

"Hi Ginny! What are you doing her at this time? Is something wrong?".

"No, no.. I just wanted to talk with you, that's all.. May I come in?".

"Of course.". Hermione smiled at her, stepping aside so she could enter. They sat down on the large bed and Hermione looked expectantly at Ginny.

_Why doesn't she look me in the eye?_

After a little while of silence Hermione cleared her throat and asked: "Are you sure you're all right?".

"Yeah, I am, but.. Are you?".

It dawned on Hermione what Ginny wanted to talk about. They hadn't had a chance to really talk about what had happened on that night a month ago, and of course Ginny would be worried about her.

"Yes, I'm fine. I guess you wonder what exactly happened in the Astronomy Tower?"

"Well.. No one's really said anything. McGonagall told us all to give you a bit of peace for a while, and everytime I try asking Harry or Ron about it, they both refuse to look me in the eye and mumble something incomprehensible. Yesterday I even asked professor Lupin after class, and he just said to give you time to heal, let you decide when you're ready to talk about it. I'm really sorry if I upset you, but I want to know what happened, I'm worried about you. Are the rumors true?".

For a moment Hermione felt taken aback. She had thought that everyone knew what had happened, and that they had stayed away from her because of that. Apparently that wasn't the reason after all, and she could only imagine how worried Ginny must have been.

"Well, if the rumors say that I tried to jump off the Astronomy Tower, then they're not too far off.".

Ginny seemed to be quite shocked at her words, and Hermione sighed before beginning her explanation. Ginny kept quiet as Hermione spoke. Even though it still was painful for her, it was a great relief to finally be able to talk to a friend about her feelings and concerns, someone who would just listen to her.

When Hermione told Ginny about the row with Harry and Ron, though, Ginny couldn't hold herself back from exclaiming:

"They didn't say that, did they!? That was really mean –I know my brother's an ass sometimes, and Harry too, but that was just plain mean!".

Hermione smiled bitterly and then said: "I guess that's why they feel so guilty. I haven't really talked with them since, everytime I do they wont look me in the eye. I guess we'll never be able to get our old friendship back.". A single tear rolled down her cheek and Ginny pulled her in to a tight embrace. For a long time they just sat there.

_It's nice to have one of my friends back._

Ginny pulled away and handed her a handkerchief before saying: "Don't worry about that, Hermione, I'm sure everything will be alright. You just need to talk about it with them, that's all.".

"Thanks, Ginny, I really appreciate it.".

"So, what have you been up to lately? I haven't really seen you around."

"Well, besides thinking about Harry and Ron, I... I've been thinking about Snape.".

"Snape? Why on earth have you been thinking about him?".

"He was the one who found me on the Tower and brought me to the Hospital Wing. And he.. he told me some really nice things when I was there. That I shouldn't think so badly about myself, and that he-". She cut her self off, blushing madly.

_Shit! Please don't let her have heard that, I really don't want anyone to know.. I don't even know if he meant it.._

Ginny looked at her with a curious expression, obviously having heard her slip, but before she could ask about it Hermione hurriedly added: "And he's offered me a position as an assistant. I don't know whether I should take it or not. I mean, it's a fabulous opportunity for me to be able to work with a Potions Master, but I'm just not sure..".

Still looking at her with the same curious expression, Ginny asked: "Well, why not take it? If you change your mind you could always say it was a mistake, and that you'd like to resign.".

Sighing Hermione mumbled: "I'm just afraid it would be awkward, because he.. he was the one who found me that night.".

"Still, you can always resign if it's too horrible.". Ginny still hadn't changed her expression, and Hermione knew she would be wondering if that really was the only reason for Hermione's apprehension.

"I guess you're right. I'm sure-"She was cut off as she yawned. A look at the clock told her it was nearly one in the morning.

"It's really late, I should get to bed –and you too!". Ginny smiled and walked to the door.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll see you tomorrow. And just so you know, you can always come to me if you want to talk, alright?"

"I know, Ginny, thanks. Goodnight.".

"Goodnight, Hermione. And sweet dreams..". Ginny closed the door behind her.

Sighing contentedly Hermione crawled under her covers. She had finally decided what she would answer Snape the next day after Potions class, and the knowledge made her fall asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Severus couldn't wait for the Potions class to end. It was always an insufferable experience to teach the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins, but today it was even worse for him. Everytime he could risk it he looked at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to find some indication of what her answer would be.

_Could she not give me at least the smallest sign? I wish she could just.. What do I wish? Do I want her to say yes? It would certainly be easier and less awkward if she said no, but if she accepted I could-_

With an annoyed shake of his head he cut of his train of thought. Speculating would do no good, and especially not in direction he was headed in his mind.

Finally the bell rang and the students hurriedly picked up their things and left the dungeons. Trying to act as if he hadn't waited impatiently for this moment, Severus stayed seated at his desk grading papers, while Hermione told her friends to go on to lunch without her. He heard her footsteps coming toward the desk, but kept his eyes on the papers until she had seated herself in front of him.

"Ms. Granger, I believe you have an answer for me?".

It took her a moment to respond, and Severus couldn't fight of a small feeling of disappointment.

_She is going to say no. Damn!_

"I have given this much thought professor, and I have come to the conclusion that I.. I accept your kind offer, though I would like to discuss a couple of details with you, sir.".

_She accepted.. I really wasn't expecting that.. _

"Well, I must say that I am glad to hear that, Ms. Granger. But I do not know what kind of details you are referring to?", Severus asked, carefully keeping his voice even.

She hesitated slightly before saying: "My main concern is that this position could interfere with my schoolwork and with my duties as Head Girl. I know you said it would not, but I'd just like to make sure that it would be alright if I resign in case it should do so.".

"Of course, Ms. Granger, you should not let anything disrupt your school work. Though I am certain we will be able to work out an agreement that will work for the both of us.".

He couldn't help but smirk somewhat, and she seemed to visibly relax as he slackened on his usual scowl. It was odd how easy it was for him to put aside his professorial facade around her, but he couldn't allow himself to let his thoughts wander in that direction, so he pushed his them aside.

They proceeded to talk about the details of the agreement. It was arranged that Hermione would assist Severus every Tuesday evening and on Sunday afternoons, as well as occasionally on Saturdays if Hermione's homework and duties allowed it. They concluded their conversation and Hermione left the dungeons to go to lunch.

* * *

The following Sunday was the first time Hermione headed toward the dungeon to meet professor Snape. Besides a slight bit of nervousness, she was looking quite forward to getting a chance to work with the Potions Master. Soon she was standing outside the classroom door, taking a deep breath before knocking.

_I really hope this isn't going to be too awkward.._

There was no reply so she knocked again, but there was still no answer. Slowly she opened the door to peer inside the room, frowning slightly. The classroom was empty.

_That's weird.. Snape's usually always here on time._

Hermione walked to the desk and sat down in front of it. Although she tried not to dwell on it, she couldn't help feeling worried. It was no secret to her that Snape was a spy and could be summoned to Death Eater meetings at any time, and that possibility was the first to come to mind.

_He probably just late. No need to worry. Just because he's not here it doesn't necessarily mean that he's been summoned... But what if he has? Will he be alright? Oh, God, I hope he's alright.. _

Unable to sit still any longer, Hermione got up and started pacing in front of the blackboard, calming herself somewhat. Nearly fifteen minutes had passed since the time they had agreed on meeting, and it didn't seem like he was going to show up just yet. Deciding she couldn't stay in the classroom forever, Hermione pulled a piece of parchment and a quill from her bag, and wrote a short message to her professor, saying that she had been in there on time and left after waiting for a while.

After having put the message on the desk she picked up her bag and and walked over to the door. Just as she had put her hand on the handle she froze. For a moment she thought she had heard a noise behind her. Slowly she turned around. There was nothing there, and she turned back to open the door when she heard the same sound again.

_Shit! What the hell was that? _

She stood completely still, straining her ears to listen. After a little while she heard it again. It sounded like someone was moaning and whimpering weakly, and the sound appeared to be coming from the door behind the desk, the one she knew lead to professor Snape's office. Gathering her Gryffindor courage she walked over to the door , hesitating in front of it.

_What if it's Snape and he's hurt?_

A sudden shout from behind the door startled her and she wrenched it open, not at all prepared for the sight that met her.


	3. Behind the door

A/n: This is a sequel to "Something to live for", which I recommend you read before this story. I apologize if it's terribly cliché and OOC. I don't want it to be too fluffy either, at least not until the end. I don't have a beta-reader and English is not my native language, so there might be some grammatical errors and such. If so, I'm sorry. Rating because of suicide themes, swearing and such. It might change later, I don't know yet. Italics means thoughts. Constructive criticism very much appreciated, so please review!

A/n 2: Read300300, Genny79, Innogen, excessivelyperky, Chainmailgrl, A Perfect Lie, Cow as White as Milk, amsev and DRUNKEN LANDLORD:

Thank you so much for your reviews! I'm glad you like my story. Just for the record, I plan to update about once a week, unless my life decides to intervene. Which shouldn't happen, since I don't actually _have _a life.. Just kidding. And yes, I do know cliffhangers are evil, that's why I love them so much. I promise I'll try to limit them.

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want everything from Harry Potter to belong to me, it unfortunately does not (yet -I'm allowed to dream, right?). It belongs to wonderful J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –3 **

In the middle of the room stood professor Snape, clutching the back of a chair to stand up straight. His robes were shredded and drenched in blood, and several stab wounds were visible through the torn fabric. Before Hermione had a chance to react, he stumbled forward and fell to the ground.

"Professor!", Hermione yelled breathlessly, hurrying forward to help the fallen man. Kneeling down beside him, she gently turned him around. His face was an awful sight. Three big gashes were bleeding badly and he had several bruises.

_Oh, no.. What on earth has happened to him?? Please let him be alright.._

"Professor Snape, can you hear me? Wake up, professor, please.. Open your eyes..". Hermione couldn't keep her voice from shaking slightly as she held his wrist to check for a pulse. Numerous seconds passed until Hermione finally sighed deeply of relief. He did have a pulse, though it was rather weak.

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he grabbed her arm with a vicious expression on his face. Hermione stared into his dark eyes for a second, paralyzed by fear, when he seemed to realize what he was doing and let her go.

"Ms. Granger.. I.. I am sorry, I did not mean to scare you.. What.. Why are you here?". His voice was hoarse and trembling slightly, and it frightened Hermione even more than his many wounds. Suppressing the anxiety, she asked him in a worried voice: "Are you alright professor? Do you need help getting to the Hospital Wing?".

He looked at her with confusion in his eyes for a moment and then nodded.

_I hope I'm able to get him to the Hospital Wing in time..._

She carefully put her arms around his waist and pulled him off the floor, struggling as he leaned heavily on her shoulder. Slowly they started walking, Hermione halfway dragging the semiconscious professor with her. It took them what seemed like forever just to get out of the room, and Hermione was nervously trying to ignore her thoughts and the pain in her back, hoping they could get to the Hospital Wing before anyone saw them. Professor Snape kept drifting in and out of consciousness.

Finally they reached the Hospital Wing. Hermione pushed the the door open and stumbled through, nearly dropping Snape on the floor. "Oh, dear child, what has happened?!", Madam Pomfrey exclaimed as she rushed forward, catching the both of them before they fell. Hurriedly she got the now unconscious Snape on to the nearest bed.

"I don't know what's happened, I just found him this way.. Is he going to be alright?", Hermione gasped. Madam Pomfrey waved her wand to remove his clothes, leaving him in only his underwear. Though slightly embarrassed, Hermione couldn't look away from him. His body was full of wounds and scars, and the sight brought tears to her eyes. Fighting the confusing emotions of fear, despair and something she was afraid to define, Hermione sat down on the bed next to him and watched as the medi-witch examined the professor.

Several tense minutes passed before Madam Pomfrey straightened her back and said: "He is badly hurt, but he will live. You brought him here just in time. Are you alright, Ms. Granger?". Hermione looked at the man before her, so severely injured. Her own minimal backpain seemed like nothing in comparison and she nodded, closing her tear-filled eyes. Madam Pomfrey cleaned his wounds and healed a couple of broken ribs, and then waved her wand to dress him in a black pajamas. She pulled the covers over him and turned to face Hermione again.

"You should get some rest, dear child, but could you stay with him while I will go fetch the Headmaster? I would like for someone to be here if he wakes, to make sure he gets the needed potions if he should experience any kind of pain.". The medi-witch's voice was filled with concern, and she looked at Hermione with a tentative expression. Hermione nodded once more and Madam Pomfrey brought her the required potions before leaving.

Hermione stared at the door through which the medi-witch had just left for several moments, completely lost in her own thoughts.

_I wonder why they did this to him? Maybe they discovered his true allegiance? Or maybe this is just what they usually do.._

A slight movement caught her eye and she turned her head to see her professor looking at her through half-closed eyes. "Are you alright, Ms. Granger? I hope your back is not too severely damaged?", he asked. It took a moment before his words got through to her. He was lying badly wounded in a hospital bed, and he was asking her if _she _was alright.

"Of course, professor, I'm quite alright.. Are you, sir?". She looked at him with concern clearly etched on her face.

He smiled. Not a very big smile, but a smile non the less. Hermione had no idea of what to say to him, the sight of him actually smiling had made her very bewildered.

_I don't think I've ever seen him smile before.. It suits him._

The last part of her thoughts made her blush, but he didn't seem to notice. Instead he said: "I will live, but-". He was cut of by a sudden shudder and his face contorted in to an expression of extreme pain. Hermione jumped up as he started to tremble violently, and instinctively grasped his arms to hold him steady. Her heart was beating rapidly as she desperately tried to hold on to him. Then, as suddenly as the tremble started, he relaxed into the soft pillows.

He was breathing heavily and looked even more pale than he usually did. Hermione fought of the intense feeling of dread and pulled together her Gryffindor courage as she started pouring into a goblet a relaxation potion, that Madam Pomfrey had given to her. As Snape's breathing returned to normal he opened his eyes as she handed him the potion.

"Thank you, Ms. Granger. I do not know what would have happened if you had not been here tonight.". The unusual comment made Hermione blush slightly once more, but she ignored her own reaction and simply smiled at him before answering: "That's alright, sir.".

The door burst open and Madam Pomfrey rushed in, followed by Dumbledore. After a brief conversation with the Headmaster, Hermione left the Hospital Wing deeply immersed in her thoughts.

* * *

The sunlight was pouring through the large windows opposite his bed when Severus opened his eyes. It took him a moment to remember why he was in the Hospital Wing, the memory of the previous night slowly resurfacing in his mind. It was difficult to distinguish the incoherent events, but he managed to remember most of it. Especially the involvement of Hermione Granger stood out clearly in his mind, and it was a most puzzling thing. 

_Why did she help me? _

He tried to find possible explanations, such as her Gryffindor personality or the obligation toward a teacher, but it did not seem adequate, and it certainly did not explain the intense look of fear and concern on her face. She had feared for his life, and this thought was possibly the most puzzling thing.

His thoughts were cut of as the Headmaster entered the Hospital Wing. "Ah, Severus, I see you are awake! How are you feeling this morning?". He sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Quite horrible, but nothing too serious.", he mumbled, trying to ignore the headache developing in the back of his head.

"That's good to hear, you gave us quite the scare. Now, Severus, I would like to hear what happened?".

Severus sighed deeply and took a deep breath before answering:

"I fear I have been discovered, Albus, or that the Dark Lord at least suspect that I know who the spy is. During the meeting he was in a particularly foul mood, and he made several remarks that indicated that he suspected a spy among his ranks. I thought I had managed to fool him when he tortured several others, but after the meeting, as I turned to leave, he hit with the Cruciatus from behind. He told me to 'tell whoever that spy is, that you do not fool the Dark Lord without it having consequences.' He then put his gorillas on me, and I must have lost consciousness, because the next thing I remember is waking up some time later and apparating back to the castle. I have no recollection of getting in to the castle."

Albus sat pensieve in thoughts for several minutes before speaking: "I am afraid we will have to end your work as a spy. If Voldemort knows there is a spy, he will soon figure out it is you.".

"I know, Albus. It is not an easy thing to admit, but I have failed.".

"That is not the case, Severus, and you know that very well. You have risked your life more times than I would ever have asked you to, and you have saved many people. Do not berate and denounce yourself.". His voice was sharp, and he looked at Severus with eyes that spoke of no condemnation, but stern compassion.

_I wish he could just see how wrong he is. I have failed._

"Now, as I said before, you gave us all quite the scare. Especially a certain student has been very anxious about your health.". His voice was still somewhat somber, but his eyes were beginning to twinkle in a way Severus knew far too well.

_Oh no, you don't, Albus, you are not getting me to admit to anything.._

"And who might that be, Albus?", Severus asked, carefully keeping his voice sounding detached.

"Oh, I am quite sure you know of whom I speak. She has asked repeatedly if she could come and see you as soon as you awoke again, and I told her that it would be quite alright. I hope you do not have anything against that, Severus?".

Frowning slightly at the now obvious twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes, Severus considered his answer carefully. It wasn't that he was irritated about the thought of Hermione visiting, but he didn't like the way the Headmaster was behaving at all. He had seen the meddling of Albus far too many times to not know, that it was exactly what the Headmaster was doing right now, meddling.

Finally he answered: "I suppose it would do no harm.".

"That is nice to hear, Severus. Now, get some rest, I am certain your guest can wait just a little bit longer, even if you are anxious to see her. Good day, Severus.". Smiling benignly, he rose and walked out of the door before Severus had a chance to speak.

_What on earth was that about?_

At that same moment Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and, seeing that Severus was awake, started fussing about him. Instead of fighting against her, as he usually did, Severus stared absentmindedly into the air, his mind still on the rather odd comments the Headmaster had made before leaving.

* * *

As Hermione walked toward the Hospital Wing later that afternoon, it was not without a hint of anxiety. The events of the previous evening was still on her mind, and she couldn't help but feeling nervous about going to see her professor. He had, after all, been under the influence of a large amount of pain when she had last spoken to him, and she wasn't sure that he would still feel the same way about her helping him. She knew he was a proud man, and Hermione couldn't help but worry about whether he would be annoyed or not about the fact that she had seen him in a weak moment. 

Pushing these thoughts aside, she stepped through the doors of the Hospital Wing. Professor Snape had been moved to a bed at the far end of the room, and it looked like he was asleep. As she walked toward the bed she examined his face carefully, trying to figure out his reactions to her.

_Get over it, Hermione! You have no reason to fear him, this behaviour is truly stupid.._

Feeling slightly annoyed at her own thoughts, she sat down in the chair next to the bed and looked out of the window, wondering whether to wake him up or not.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Granger.", he said, startling Hermione. She hadn't noticed him waking, and blushed slightly at her reaction.

"Good afternoon, sir.".

"I am afraid I startled you once again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.". His lips twisted into a small smile, and Hermione felt unsure of how to react.

_Did he mean that as a joke?_

"That's quite alright, sir. Ehm.. How are you feeling?".

"I am much better than last night. And thank you for your help.". His expression was as unreadable as always, but his voice was sincere. Smiling, Hermione replied: "You don't need to thank me, sir. I'm just glad you're going to be alright."

She paused for a couple of seconds, and then continued: "Sir, I you don't mind me asking.. What happened last night?".

He simply looked at her and she was about to apologize, when he said: "I assume you know of my.. involvement with the Dark Lord?". She nodded and he continued: "Last night I was summoned, and.. the Dark Lord was not in a particularly good mood. He suspects there is a spy among his followers-"

"You were found out?". She couldn't help herself asking.

"No, not yet. But it will not be too long before I am."

Hermione didn't know what to say and simply stared at her hands. Finally she found her voice and said: "I'm sorry to hear that, sir."

They looked at each other for a couple of moments, the silence stretching out uncomfortably between them. Finally Snape broke it by saying: "Ms. Granger, have you perhaps read this book?". He held up the book in his hand, a book called _"Advanced potions beyond N.E.W.T.s level"_.

Hermione stared at him for two seconds, at a complete loss of what to say. Then she answered: "Yes, I have, actually.".

He smiled at her and before any of them realized it, they were deeply immersed in a discussion about the book. They soon moved on to other subjects, such as the horrible talentless substitute who had temporarily taken over potions class, and neither of them realized how quickly the time passed.

When their conversation was cut off by Madam Pomfrey several hours later, Hermione had long since missed dinner time, in fact it was nearly midnight. The medi-witch nearly chased Hermione out of the doors, only allowing them to agree on postponing Hermione's debut as a potions assistant until the professor's health had improved.

Walking down to the kitchens to get a bit to eat before going to bed, Hermione couldn't help but feel amazed at how easy it had been for her to talk with the normally so menacing professor.

_It's odd.. He's always been so different, I don't think I've ever seen him like this before. _

She paused in front of the painting that concealed the entrance to the kitchen and stood there for a couple of minutes before entering, pondering a very confusing thought.

_Why has he changed so much?_

* * *

_Why have I changed so much?_

That was the thought that kept showing up in his mind. Every time he started thinking of his conversation with Hermione that night, he eventually returned to that very thought.

_Why was it so easy to talk with her? I never would have thought.. She is the Gryffindor know-it-all, dammit, since when has _she _changed? And why did I even begin to talk to her? _

Severus was staring at his newspaper, not seeing it at all. He had been in the Hospital nearly a week, and felt thoroughly bored. His free time was spent on reading books he already knew by heart, planning lessons or thinking about Hermione. However much he tried to deny it, it was thoughts of Hermione that took up most of the time.

He couldn't figure out what he thought or how he felt about everything that had happened in the last month. It was not something he was used to, being this confused about his own feelings, and the combination of this and the phlegm of being stuck in the Hospital Wing was starting to get on his nerves. The daily visits from Albus did not help matters, Severus was having a very difficult time in not loosing his patience with the Headmaster's constant allusions and twinkling eyes.

So when Madam Pomfrey interrupted his reverie with the news of his almost complete restoration of health and that he was free to leave the next day, he couldn't have been more pleased. The rest of the day passed just as slowly as the previous had done, but his annoyance was gone, replaced with the knowledge that he would soon be able to get out of the Hospital Wing. He was even able to tolerate the visit of the Headmaster without sneering at him once.

* * *

When Hermione went down to breakfast the next morning, she was met with the rumours of professor Snape's recovery. Very few of the students knew the reason of his absence, in fact it was only Hermione and Ginny, who Hermione had told a few days after the incident. 

"So, Hermione.. Have you that heard Snape's back?", Ginny said, with a sidelong glance.

"Yes, I heard a couple of third-years talking about it in the common room. Why?".

"Oh, no reason in particular. Just thought you'd be happy to know he's back."

_Ginny's acting a bit strange.._

"Erh.. Right.". Hermione didn't particularly like the sly expression on Ginny's face and steered the conversation away from the subject. When she got up with Harry and Ron to go to their first classes, she couldn't shake the feeling of something being a bit off in Ginny's behaviour.

"Are you OK, Hermione?". Harry's voice shook her out of her thoughts. Both he and Ron were looking at her with slightly worried looks, and she hurriedly smiled at them.

"Yes, I am fine. Just a bit lost in thought, that's all." They continue to look at her with wary expressions, but Hermione ignored them and led them into the dungeons, pushing the thoughts of the odd behaviour around school out of her mind.

* * *

Once again Severus had a difficult time in concentrating in Potions class. And once again it was thoughts of Hermione Granger that made it difficult. 

The 7th year Potions class consisted only of a few students. Two Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff, Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson from Slytherin, and Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger from Gryffindor. The students were, mostly, sufficiently talented in Potions, and it was one of his less annoying classes, despite a certain couple of students. He usually had no large problem with this class, but his ever-present thoughts about Ms. Granger made it almost unbearable. When the class finally ended he was relieved and sat down at his desk to grade a couple of papers before his next class, and was slightly surprised when someone cleared their throat in front of him.

Looking up he saw that it was Hermione Granger.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?". He tried to keep his voice as cold as usual, and nearly succeeded.

"I would just like to verify our appointment for tomorrow evening, sir."

_Always the civilized student._

Trying even harder to keep his usual expression he replied: "Of course. We will proceed as planned, Ms. Granger, I expect to see you here at seven o'clock.".

She flashed a brief smile before nodding and walking out of the door, bidding him good day on the way.

As soon as she was out of sight, the smile he had been fighting broke out.

* * *

The next evening Hermione left for the dungeons with a slight feeling of déja-vu. 

However much she tried to ignore it, she couldn't get the memory of the night she had found her professor wounded out of her head, and she didn't feel comfortable until she had reached the Potions class room and knocked on the door, opening it to see Professor Snape sitting at his desk. Hermione walked through the door and sat down opposite her professor.

"Good evening, Professor.".

"Good evening, Ms. Granger. You know you are here to fulfill your new duties as my assistant, but I would just like to be certain that you are aware of my expectations of you.". He looked at her with a sharp look, and she felt a bit uneasy and a small pang of annoyance.

_I understand why he'd say this, but there's no need to look at me like this, I have done nothing wrong._

She nodded slightly and he continued: "You are a cautious and clever student in class, Ms. Granger, and I require the same standard now. You will be helping me with advanced and some times dangerous potions that calls for absolute precision and caution. Do you understand, Ms. Granger?".

"Yes, I do, Professor.".

"Good. Let us begin, then. The first thing I would like you to assist with is the Draft of Peace.."

They set to work and was soon so engrossed in it that several hours passed without them noticing. Just as the night in the Hospital Wing they found it surprisingly easy to talk with each other, and after completing the potion and cleaning up, they fell into an interesting discussion about a recent article on potions.

_It's odd how easy this is.. He seems so much more relaxed than he usually does. A wonder, really._

When they finally broke off their work it was very late. Hermione jumped up, horrified, when she looked at her watch. "Oh my.. It's nearly half past eleven, sir.".

An odd expression crossed his face, but it was gone before she could be certain of what it was. He looked at his own watch and said: "Yes, you're right, Ms. Granger. You should get back to your room."

She gathered her things and walked over to the door, pausing in the doorway. Turning around she smiled and said: "Good night, Professor, I've enjoyed helping you out tonight. I'll see you tomorrow.".

He smiled back at her and said: "Good night, Hermione.".

Hermione walked up the stairs, so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't realize that her professor had called her by her given name before she was lying in bed some time later.

* * *

Down in the corridor of the Potions class room stood a person. This person was dressed in black in order to blend in with the shadows, and had been standing outside the class room door for quite a while before Hermione's departure from the room. This persona non grata had been listening to the amicable conversation between the Potions Master and his assistant, and was now contemplating what had been overheard before leaving as well. 

* * *

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* * *

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**A/n 3: This was a really difficult chapter for me to write. I had a bit of writer's block, and the minor detail of having to write three essays in a week didn't exactly help matters. I hope to have the next chapter out in a week or possibly two.**


	4. Speculations

A/n: _Read300300, Cow as White as Milk, sweetytweety013_: Thank you for you reviews! I thought it was nice twist too, even if it is a bit cliché.

_DRUNKEN LANDLORD_: Thanks, and no, I don't know that song. Could you tell me who sings it, I might be able to track down the lyrics?

_Flaming Pen_: Thanks for the review. The answer to both your questions are: you'll see in time. I'd spoil the story if I tell you now.

Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, so please review!

Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings – 4**

During the next fortnight Hermione spend as much time as possible with her Potions professor.

He was still the same stern and harsh man, but it, surprisingly enough, no longer bothered her. His silence while working was no longer menacing to her, and he would light up while in discussion with her. His behaviour in class was also the same as always, but she simply ignored it, knowing that it was only a facade.

_Quite astounding how passionate he can be once you really start talking with him.._

She was quite amazed and fascinated with just how comfortable it felt to be in his company, and she often found herself lost in thought about their latest appointment. She was careful not to succumb to those reveries when around her friends, she still didn't feel completely relaxed around Harry and Ron. They hadn't really talked much lately, and especially not about the night in Astronomy Tower. She tried not to think too much about that night, it still gave her an uncomfortable constricted feeling in her heart.

Ginny seemed really glad to be talking with Hermione again, and Hermione felt equally as happy to have her friend back. They were often studying and chatting peacefully together, and Hermione confided many of her thoughts with Ginny, especially the ones concerning her awkward friendships with Harry and Ron.

However, she didn't confide the confusing thoughts about Snape.

It was something she didn't want to tell anyone, at least not until she had got a bit more hold of her emotions. One minute she was thinking about how she enjoyed his company and their discussions, the next she was appalled at herself for thinking about a teacher in an inapropiate way, the next again she was remembering what he had told her in the Hospital Wing a month and a half earlier: that he loved her.

When she reached this point in her line of thoughts she would usually force herself to think about something else.

* * *

_It's amazing how much that man can irritate me!_

Severus was bent over his cauldron, fuming at the thought of his last meeting with the Headmaster. Albus had, once again, managed to make an astonishingly insinuating comment as Severus left, a comment that still reverberated in his mind:

"_By the way, Severus, I'm glad to hear from the other faculty members that Ms. Granger seems much happier after starting her position as you assistant, although she also seems quite tired.. So don't exhaust the young lady."_

To anyone else the comment would sound quite normal and innocent, but to Severus, who had witnessed Albus' meddling and comments for nearly twenty years, the comment was infuriating. And the fact that the ever-twinkling eyes of the Headmaster had an extra sparkle as he spoke these words, didn't exactly help matters.

A sharp knock at the door invaded his thoughts and he strode over to it, angrily wrenching it open.

Nobody was there.

Severus nearly slammed the door shut, furious at being interrupted without reason, but spotted something out of the corner of his eye.

A black envelope was lying on the threshold and Severus bent down and picked it up. A feeling of consternation spread through him. He couldn't tell why this nondescript envelope would worry him so, but he trusted his instincts well enough not to disregard them.

After making sure the hallway was empty he ripped the envelope open. A small piece of parchment fell out from it. Frowning, Severus pulled it out and read it:

"_Be careful around a certain student. The consequences of not being cautious might be dire._

_X"._

"X? How ridiculous!", Severus snorted. Despite his earlier feeling of alarm he could not think that this message was serious. He had received many odd, and sometimes threatening, messages over the years that later on proved to be from disgruntled students of his, and this was no doubt the case again.

After closing the door behind him he walked over to the cauldron, crumbling the letter as he went and soon forgetting about it, his mind returning to more pressing matters of finishing the potion and clean out his private laboratory.

* * *

"Hermione, do you have a moment? I'd like to have a talk with you."

Hermione looked up from her book in surprise and put it aside on her bed. In front of her stood Harry Potter, peering nervously at her.

"Sure, Harry. Want to sit down, or..?".

"No, could we go for a walk? To the lake, or something?".

Hermione nodded and they left her room, Harry pointedly keeping his eyes on his feet.

They walked through the empty common room and crawled out of the portrait hole, and soon after reached the front doors. Hermione frowned slightly at Harry's weird behaviour, but kept her tongue.

_Wonder what's the matter? He usually never acts this way.._

They walked out onto the grounds of Hogwarts and toward the lake. Stopping at the bank they looked over the calm water for a while before Harry cleared his throat and said: "Look, Hermione.. I wanted to talk to about.. about that night, when.. that night you.. well, tried to commit suicide?".

_Well, I knew I'd have to do this some time.._

"OK, Harry.. Well, what is it exactly that you want to know?". Hermione's voice was strangely even, not betraying a single of the emotions that had bubbled dangerously close to the surface at the mention of that fateful night.

"Was is it my fault?". Harry was now looking straight at her, his eyes concerned and his face determined.

"I don't know what to say to you Harry.. It wasn't just the fight with you and Ron, but that really hurt me, and-". Her voice cracked and a sudden surge of emotion made Hermione's eyes prickle uncomfortably.

Before she could help herself she had flung her arms around Harry. He startled slightly, but held her close, awkwardly patting her on the back.

After sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder for a while, Hermione stepped back and dried her eyes.

_Stupid emotions, always getting the best of me..._

"I'm sorry, Harry, it's just.. Every time I think I've got a hold of myself I start crying again, I can't help it."

"It's alright, Hermione. I'm here for you, always. I know I wasn't that night, and.. And I really am sorry. I'll never turn my back on you or hurt you again, I'm so sorry!". His expression was so genuine and nearly desperate that the tears started flowing from her eyes once more. "After wards, when I heard that it was my fault that you nearly.. nearly jumped, I felt so bad, I didn't know how to ever make it up to you, didn't know if I ever could.."

Pulling Harry into her arms she whispered: "Thank you, Harry. I'm really glad to hear that, it's really been horrible not being able to talk to you.".

"I know. I've really missed you.", he whispered back, a stray tear rolling down his cheek.

They stood there at the lake for what seemed like forever, seeking comfort in the arms of a friend and not noticing the occasional student wandering by and eying them curiously. Finally they broke apart.

"So, Hermione.. Ginny tells me you've started as a Potions assistant? I bet that's dreadful.". Harry smiled at her.

"Well, Harry," Hermione said, "It's actually not been that bad.". Hermione smiled back at him, and they resumed their slow stroll around the lake, and then toward the Quidditch pit, while Hermione told Harry as much as possible about her position as a Potions assistant. The only thing she held back was her feelings about Professor Snape, feelings that she becoming more certain about with each day that passed. Soon dinner time was nearing and the reunited friends started moving toward the castle, now walking in companionable silence.

When they reached the front doors Harry stopped in his tracks. Hermione looked at him with a questioning face, and he looked around them to ensure they were alone.

"Hermione, there's something I think you should know. Ron hasn't.. He's not been feeling that well lately. He's convinced that everything is his fault, and I don't know what to tell him... I've told him to just talk to you, but he's too scared. Could you try talking with him?".

"Harry.. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not too sure about how to talk to him either. His words that night hurt just as deeply as yours. But I've forgiven you, and I can forgive Ron too, because it wasn't just that fight that made go to the tower. It was a combination of many things, and the fight was just the trigger. If he comes to me, I'll talk with him, of course.". Hermione looked at him determinedly.

"OK, that's all I can ask of you.. Hermione.. What other things do you mean, when you say it was a combination of things?". His voice sounded as thought he was trying not to sound pushy and obtrusive.

_I don't know the exact reasons myself, so how can I answer that? _

"I'm not sure, Harry. I just know that I feel better now, and I think I'm ready to move on."

"I'm glad to hear that.". He smiled at her and they embraced fiercely before walking inside the castle and joining their friends for dinner.

* * *

As usual Severus was sitting at his desk, impatiently awaiting the arrival of his assistant. His impatience was not caused by Hermione being unpunctual, in fact she was always a couple of minutes early, it was instead caused by his intense desire to be in her company and get involved in passionate discussions, or simply work peacefully side by side. It was also caused by a proposition he wanted to make her, an offer he hoped she wouldn't refuse.

_Best not think about it too much, she might very well refuse. _

Shaking his head he tried to clear his mind of thoughts about her, but it was to no avail.

When he had first agreed to taking her on as an assistant, reluctant and apprehensive, he could not have imagined how much he would come to enjoy her company. Despite the perplexing feelings he had tried desperately to push aside and his prejudice against her as a know-it-all-Gryffindor, she had proved to be a most competent assistant and excellent partner in interesting and intelligent discussions. He had come to perceive her as his equal in many areas. And this scared him tremendously.

_I better stop thinking about her in that way, it leads to no good. Hermione is still my student, no matter how I look at this whole situation, I am still her professor and she is my student. Although she will be graduating soon-_

"Damn..", he muttered, cursing that annoying little voice in the back of his mind that seemed determined to lead his thoughts in a certain direction.

He looked at his watch for what seemed like the hundreth time and saw that there was still fifteen minutes until their appointment started. Sighing at his own restlessness he got up and started pacing back and forth. He couldn't get his mind away from the thoughts of Hermione and decided to give up on trying to.

Images of their meetings swirled in his head, making him smile as he recalled the way she would twist a strand of her hair absentmindedly between her fingers as she looked over a difficult recipe. The way she would sometimes hum subconsciously as she stirred a potion. How she would occasionally catch his eyes in Potions class and let a small smile rest on her lips a mere fraction of second, banishing it before anyone but him could take notice of it.

Then his thoughts turned to that night he had found her in the Astronomy Tower, about to jump to her death. She had looked so fragile, so vulnerable, as he had carried her to the Hospital Wing. Those images sometimes haunted him in his dreams, making him wake with a dreadful feeling of loosing something very valuable.

Inevitably his mind then reminded him that he had told her that he loved her.

He tried forcing himself to thinking about something else, but his mind refused. When he had held her as she cried and told her of his feelings, he hadn't even known about them himself. Not consciously, he had never thought about any of his students in any way beyond that which is required of a teacher. Never allowed himself to. But it seemed his mind had decided to do so anyway and had, without his knowledge, reached the conclusion that he loved Hermione Granger. His student. A Gryffindor, none the less. And he couldn't say that he completely disagreed with his mind, though he wasn't sure he still knew how to love somebody.

But he would never act on these feelings, whatever they were. He never could. It would jeopardize his career, her reputation, his role as a spy.

_It does not matter whether I have been discovered or not, I can't take that risk. Dumbledore might change his decision and ask me to answer to the summons. And I cannot let her get drawn into this._

And even if he _did_ act on his feelings, how would she react? Just because she seemed to enjoy their conversations as much as he did, it did by no means indicate that she was interested in anything more. It did not mean that she would ever consider being with him.

_And why should she? I am twice her age and not exactly a knight in shining armor. She would never want someone like me._

He wasn't even certain she remembered his words from that night. She had never said anything or otherwise indicated that she recalled them.

He jumped slightly as he heard a knock at the door. Grimacing at his own reaction he said: "Enter!", in the most bored voice he could muster.

The door opened and Hermione stepped in, smiling. "Good evening, Professor.".

Without thinking about it he smiled back at her, and they set to work as usual, Hermione preparing and fetching the needed ingredients while Severus stirred the potion meticulously, in a state of complete concentration. They soon finished and set the potion aside to cool before seating themselves.

Predictably they fell into a rather heated discussion about an article Severus had shown Hermione at their last meeting, an article about a new discovery of a possible use of dragon blood, and although they disagreed they both enjoyed it immensely.

As Hermione got up and declared that she would be going he suddenly remembered the proposition he had thought about and stopped her.

"Ms. Granger, there is something I would like to discuss with you before you leave.".

She sat down again with a curious expression and he continued: "Until now we have been working here in the Potions class room, but I have been meaning to ask you for a while whether you would mind moving our appointments to my private laboratory?". His voice was carefully kept even.

She regarded him for moment with a slight frown and disappointment took hold of Severus.

_Of course she minds, it was stupid to even consider it!_

Hurriedly he added: "Only if you do not mind, Ms. Granger, I-".

She shook her head and said: "It's not that I mind, Professor, not at all. It's just that I wondered.. If you don't mind me asking, why haven't you propositioned this before?".

His own feeling of disappointment was now mirrored in her eyes, and he suddenly realized that she had been expecting him to ask earlier. Surprise flitted across his face before he resumed his usual expression and said: "Ms. Granger, it has nothing to do with you. I have simply been reorganizing my laboratory and have not been able to use the past two months.". His voice was somewhat stern.

She blushed slightly at his words and brought a small smile to his lips.

_Amazing.. Things that would have annoyed me about her just a month ago now makes me smile!_

She smiled back apprehensively and said: "Then I would be honored to join you in your private laboratory.".

She got up once again and said good night, turned around and walked toward the door. Halfway there she turned around and looked at him. He was about to ask her why she had stopped when she spoke: "I really would prefer that you called me Hermione. The formality is kind of getting on my nerves. It's OK if you don't feel comfortable with it, but I would appreciate it. Good night, Professor.".

He stared dumbfounded after her as she exited the room for a moment before jumping up and hurrying after her.

"Ms. Granger, wait! Ms. Granger –Hermione!". He stopped in the doorway as she paused with her foot on the stairs.

Smiling tentatively he said: "I don't mind, Hermione. And call me Severus.". He shut the door behind him and couldn't help but smirk at the surprised expression on her face.

It wasn't until later, when he was lying awake in bed, that he realized what he had done.

_Oh, great Merlin.. What is she going to think of me now? No doubt that I'm a perverted old bastard.. And I did not even have the sense to ask her to come back into the room when telling her, what would have happened if any of my Slytherins had walked in on that? On the other hand, maybe it was a good idea not to ask her back into the room.._

Cutting of his train of thought he forced his mind away from the subject, afraid to even finish his own thought.

* * *

_What on earth possessed me to say that to him? I must be raving mad.._

Hermione couldn't shake of the thought of the request she had made last night. She had told her Potions professor to call her by her given name. Something suddenly connected in her mind as she realized that he actually already had.

_Oh, my.. I'd forgotten all about that.. What am I going to do? Why are these.. _emotions_ or whatever taking such a hold of me?_

Ginny's voice cut through Hermione's reverie and she looked up at her friend. They were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, studying together, and Ginny had apparently just asked her a question.

"I'm, sorry, Ginny I was a bit lost in thought, what was it you asked me?".

"Lost in thought indeed.. I asked you: what is between you and Snape?".

Hermione simply stared at her, unable to say anything, when Ginny continued: "I mean, you're positively glowing when you come back from your appointments with him, and it's always late when you return."

"I –not, I mean-", Hermione sputtered, "How –how do you know that I return late?".

"I've waited up for you after the last two appointments, and you don't even notice me when you walked through the common room. _And_ you were humming.".

Hermione blushed a deep crimson

_Oh, no.. Why did she have to find out? I don't even know what it is, exactly, that I feel, and now she's going to think that I'm some.. _freak_ or something.._

"Hermione, you don't have to be nervous, you can tell me anything.. Is something going on between you?". Ginny looked at her with a mixture of concern and compassion, a sly smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"No! I-", Hermione blushed even deeper, and muttered: "Nothing's going on.. It's just.. I don't.. I don't know what to think, I'm so confused.:"

"Please tell me, Hermione.".

"I'm.. Oh, OK.. There really is nothing between us, but.. But I think I'm falling for him, and..". Hermione swallowed nervously, and then continued: "And he _has_ told me that.. That he loves me.".

Complete silence followed her words, and Hermione's heart jumped a little.

_I was right, she thinks I'm a freak-_

"Wow, Hermione, that's.. wow. Has he really told he loves you?", Ginny said, looking at her with a puzzled expression and something akin to amazement.

"Yes, that night when.. when he found me in the Astronomy Tower. You know I told you that he told me some really nice things, and..". Hermione stopped and looked at her nervously fidgeting fingers, recalling his words that night..

_"That is not true, Hermione. You are an incredibly beautiful and intelligent young woman, one of the most talented witches in decades. Anyone who cannot see that is a fool and not worthy of your time. And you can be loved.. I know, because I do.." _

"He told me that he thinks I'm beautiful and intelligent.. And that I shouldn't think that I can't be loved, because he does.". Hermione suddenly realized that she was smiling at the memory, and looked at Ginny.

Her expression was unreadable for a little while before she said: "Don't get me wrong, Hermione, I'm not trying to talk you out of anything.. But have you considered that maybe, just maybe, he only said those things to you because he thought you needed to hear them?".

Hermione was dumbfounded. She had considered many different reasons that could have led him to speak those words to her, but oddly enough, she had never considered that possibility. She suddenly felt very stupid.

_Of course. He's probably only doing this out of pity! The Headmaster has ordered him to be nice to me or something, and just fool enough to fall for it!_

Her face darkened and Ginny must have noticed, because she hurriedly added: "I don't really think that Hermione! It's just very odd to think about him in that way.. I mean, it's _Snape_ where talking about.

A sudden urge to burst out laughing filled Hermione and she couldn't help but laugh. Something in the way Ginny had said his name suddenly seemed very amusing to her, and she nearly couldn't stop laughing at the thought.

Ginny was staring at her with amusement and Hermione said: "I can't help it, it just sounded so funny when you said his name..". Taking a deep breath she willed herself to stop laughing.

Ginny smiled a somewhat sly smile and asked in a casual voice: "Hermione.. when you say that you think you're falling for him.. Why is that?".

Blushing once again Hermione stared ahead of her.

_What is it that.. attracts me to him?_

"I don't know if I can explain it..".

"Just try.". Ginny was still smiling slyly.

"Well.. I haven't really given it that much thought.. But he's quite different when we're alone. He is polite and never mean.. And quite passionate in discussions. And I do have a.. _thing_ about his voice..".

"What 'thing' about his voice?", Ginny asked.

"You really are quite pushy, you know!", Hermione exclaimed, laughing. "But I guess I think that it's.. sexy."

Ginny just smiled at her as she blushed, and Hermione got a familiar feeling of Ginny having known all along. Determined not to make herself even more embarrassed, Hermione said: "Why don't we return to studying?".

As they did so a subconscious smile rested on Hermione's lips as her thoughts remained on the Potions Master.

* * *

**A/n2: This chapter is, in my own opinion, somewhat tedious and a bit boring. But it is necessary to include it, and I PROMISE you'll see more action in the next chapter.**


	5. Giving in

A/n: _DRUNKEN LANDLORD: _Thanks for your review. I found the lyrics to 'Mickey'. I don't think it would fit in with the story as it's going to develop, but it would certainly have fitted nicely.

_Cow as White as Milk:_ Thanks.

_I love Severus and Sirius: _I do plan on finishing this, and already have most of it planned out in my head. I love your name, by the way. Couldn't agree with it more ;)

_sweetytwety013: _Thanks.

Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, so please review!

Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings – 5**

_How come the answers you have pondered, desperately searched for so long, always seem to make things even more difficult and raise even more questions?_

Hermione was sitting in her room, trying to read, but not seeing a single of the words in her book. Ever since her conversation with Ginny four days earlier, she had not been able to keep her mind from returning to the Potions Master. In fact, he was just about the only thing she thought about.

His deep voice, so often associated with sneering, but for her also with pleasant conversations and a rare laughter.

Delicate hands, slightly calloused, but also seeming to be very sensitive. Perfect for a Potions Master.

Obsidian eyes that reminded her of an endless, dark lake, at times sinister and foreboding, at others glowing with a hidden passion.. And sometimes with something akin to.. sadness.

_No, that's not the right word.. It's more like.. a melancholy wish for something, something unattainable._

She was extremely embarrassed when she realized how obsessive she had become.

_I can't keep my mind of him! He is my teacher, dammit!_

In the last couple of days she was seeking solitude more and more, trying to clear out the confusing thoughts swarming her, trying to figure out her own feelings and reactions. But the more she wondered, the more she perplexed herself. Finally she gave up on constantly controlling and holding back her thoughts, only trying not to let herself be distracted around her friends.

She suddenly remembered that the next appointment would be held in his private laboratory.

_I'm going to be completely on his territory. Even though the classroom would also be considered his domain, this it different. More intimate._

Then she remembered that she had told him to call her by her first name, and received permission to do the same in return..

Exasperatedly she threw her book down and got up from the bed. Pacing in front of her window she _forced _her mind on the Arithmancy essay she had to write. It worked for several minutes, but her mind inevitably returned to the same person. Frustrated she threw herself on the bed.

The face of Professor Snape-

_No, Severus..._

-drifted in front of her eyes.. He was smiling at her, an unusual sight that made him look at least ten years younger and something she had only seen on few occasions.. Him working on a potion, looking very concentrated while she was watching him, mesmerized with the elegant movements of his hands.. His dark eyes looking into into her very soul as he leaned forward, about to kiss her..

A sharp knocking startled her and she sat up on her bed, completely disorientated. The vision of the Potions Master about to kiss her was very vivid in her mind when she realized that she had been sleeping, that it was only a dream. An odd feeling of.. _disappointment_ filled her, as she got up and walked to the door.

Outside stood Ron.

"Oh, hi Ron. What is it?", she asked, somewhat surprised at his presence.

"Hi, Hermione.. I, erh.. I just thought you'd like to get some dinner, you've been up here all day.". His ears were slightly red, and Hermione felt a small pang of sympathy, mixed with annoyance.

_If he's that uncomfortable around me, why doesn't he just say so?_

"I am actually quite starved, I'll just be second.". She walked into her bathroom to freshen up a bit. Just because she saw no need to obsess about her appearance, it did not mean that she felt like going to dinner while looking like she had just woken up, even if it was the case.

When she returned Ron was nervously awaiting her. Frowning, Hermione asked: "Are you alright, Ron?".

"Yeah.. Well, no.. I... I'm really, really sorry, Hermione! Please forgive me!", he blurted out, his eyes pleading. Hermione stared at him, dumbfounded.

_This wasn't exactly what I expected.. But I should forgive him, for the sake of our friendship if nothing else._

She opened her mouth to tell him that everything was alright, that she forgave him. But no words would come. She couldn't get herself to say those words to him, and for every second that passed, Ron looked more and more desperate. Finally she forced the words out: "I do forgive you.".

He jumped up, obviously relieved, and nearly dragged her from the room while he talked excitedly about the next Quidditch match beside her, but Hermione didn't pay attention.

_Did I really mean that, or was it a lie?_

Despite her attempts at pushing the answer to her own question out of her mind, she couldn't. She knew she had not meant a single one of her words, and she couldn't figure out why she had lied, why she had felt that she had to lie. Feeling increasingly miserable she followed her friends to dinner, watching them as they were talking animatedly.

_Now everything's back to the way it used to be. But _I _feel different. Very different, and I'm not sure any of them realize that.._

* * *

Sitting in Remus Lupin's office with a cup of tea, Severus realized that he had made a mistake. 

He had simply come to deliver the latest batch of Wolsbane Potion, and had not expected Lupin insisting that he join him for a bit of tea. Despite his best efforts to dissuade his colleague, Severus had finally given in and accepted the offer, hoping that it would at least help to keep Lupin from making 'subtle' inquiries about his assistant.

It did not stop Lupin.

Hermione Granger and her work as Severus' assistant was, in fact, the only thing they had talked about, and Severus patience was wearing thin.

"I've noticed that Ms. Granger spends a considerable amount of time on her duties as your assistant, Severus. Are you sure she can keep up with her homework?". Lupin's voice was concerned, and Severus felt a twinge of annoyance.

_She's not been reduced to a complete idiot, she has no problems in keeping up. Insufferable werewolf.._

"Of course she can, last time I graded her homework she seemed to keep her usual standard very well, and I am certain that is the case in her other subjects.". His voice was carefully kept even.

"But what if it becomes too much for her? I don't think she would tell you, and what if the pressure becomes too much?".

Severus' patience was gone.

"She is not a weak, little first-year! Hermione can easily keep up, and I would notice if 'the pressure became too much'! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do!", he snapped and jumped out of the chair. In two long strides he was at the door, pulling it open when Lupin's voice sounded behind him.

"You called her Hermione.".

Severus froze in the doorway for a second before turning around, his voice completely gone.

_Shit.._

Lupin regarded him with an odd expression for a moment and then said: "I have never heard you call a student by their given name before.". His eyes narrowed slightly and something akin to a sly smile tugged at the corners of Lupin's mouth before he continued: "You're falling for her, aren't you?".

Severus' voice returned immediately: "I most am certainly not! I don't know what gave you that idea, Lupin, but it is not true!". There was nothing he wanted more than to escape from the office, but his legs refused to move.

The smile now spread on Lupin's face, making his eyes twinkle in a way oddly reminiscent of the Headmaster's eyes as he said: "I honestly didn't think I would ever see the day where Severus Snape fell in love with a student of his, especially not a Gryffindor student."

"I am not in love with her!". To his complete horror Severus felt a slight blush spread on his face and he turned around, determined not to let his colleague see the effect his words had on him. His fists were clenching and unclenched of their own accord while Severus struggled with his thoughts and emotions.

_How could I be so careless, how could I loose my temper like this? No wonder I am under suspicion for being a spy, if I can't even keep my own feelings hidden. Damn that girl, she is completely messing up my life!_

"As I said I have better things to do, so I'll bid you good day.". He took a step forward toward the door, but didn't reach it.

Lupin jumped up and was standing in front of Severus in a heartbeat. Severus took a step back unconsciously, surprised at how fast Lupin had reacted, and even more surprised when he saw the look on the other man's face. The slyness was gone and replaced by a cold and dire expression, eyes showing a wild, but controlled strength.

"You listen to me, Severus. To me it doesn't matter that you are a teacher and a student, as long as it makes you happy. But if you ever hurt her in any way, I promise you that you'll regret it.".

_He is merely concerned for her safety, but does he really believe that I would do such a thing?_

He forced his anger away before replying: "I would never hurt her. Never. And even if your.. insinuations were correct, do you really think that I would act on them? I could never be with a student, and I sincerely doubt that she would even consider being with someone like me.".

Without waiting for an answer Severus walked out of the room, deep in thought.

_This is getting out of my control. If I cannot even keep this from _Lupin_ of all people, there's no way I am going to be able to keep it from Hermione. Especially not when we will be in my private laboratory and on a first-name-basis. What the hell am I going to do?_

* * *

When Hermione knocked on the door to the Potions classroom she was unusually nervous. The same thoughts kept returning. 

_Today is the day we'll be in his private laboratory. Why am I so nervous just because of that? It's not like I haven't ever been alone with him before, we've been alone many times-_

A small voice at the back of her mind cut into her thoughts.

_-Yeah, well, you've never called him Severus before._

His deep voice called out through the door: "Enter.". Sighing deeply to steady herself, Hermione pushed the door open and walked in.

"Good evening, Severus.".

His head snapped up and a strange expression-

_Surprise? Wonder? Fear?_

-flitted across it, before he said: "Good evening, Hermione.".

He got up from his chair and looked at her for a moment, apparently searching for words. Finally he gestured toward a door beside the blackboard and said: "The laboratory is through this door.".

Hermione couldn't help but notice how odd he seemed. It was almost as though he had lost the determinedness and certainty he usually had, and was instead deep in thought and unsure of how to act. She frowned slightly as she followed him into the laboratory, unable to figure out what could have caused this change in him.

They set to work s usual, and after a while it seemed that Severus had finally regained his composure. He worked as meticulously as always and Hermione couldn't help herself in observing him closely. How his hair fell across his face when he stirred the potion, the concentrated look in his dark eyes.

When they finished the nights work, Severus engaged in their conversation with the same ardor and enthusiasm as usual, this time a discussion about a book they had both recently read. Their conversation had been moved to Severus' office, a somewhat cluttered room, filled with papers and books, that was adjacent to his private laboratory.

Sitting in two plush, dark green armchairs in front of a pleasantly blazing fireplace, they spent quite a while discussing the book. Hermione sat pensive in thoughts for while afterwards, startled as Severus suddenly jumped to his feet.

"I nearly forgot.", he mumbled, hurrying through a door beside a shelf, a door Hermione only then noticed. He swiftly returned, carrying a large, leather bound book.

"I wanted you to read this. Remember our discussion about Truth serums and Jobberknoll feathers the other night, that was cut of because of the late hour? This book will be able to answer you questions more detailed, I believe. Would you care to read it?".

Hermione stared at him for a second.

_He's never allowed me to borrow any of his books before.._

"Yes, I would very much like to.". She smiled at him a bit tentatively, dazzled by his slightly strange behavior. Carefully holding on to the heavy book, she took it out of his hands. Their fingers touched for the briefest of moments, enough to send a pleasant shiver down her spine.

_Get a hold of yourself! Don't begin thinking in that direction.._

"I would appreciate it if you would stay here and read it, to ensure that no harm befell upon such an ancient book.", his voice was somewhat crisp, and it made Hermione's eyebrows raise in remonstrance.

Having read her expression correctly, he smiled a brief, amused smile, before saying: "I do not doubt that you would take good care of it, Hermione, but accidents occur to everyone, and especially when one is around a great number of people.".

_Guess that makes sense.. But still.._

"The information you seek is in chapter nineteen.". He sat back down, opening his own book, as Hermione settled herself more comfortably in the chair, placing the book tenderly on her lap and beginning to read. It was a fascinating book about rare potions ingredients and their origin, and it was written in a surprisingly captivating way. As soon as she had read through chapter nineteen, she flipped to the beginning of the book and starting reading again, completely forgetting where she was and the relative lateness of the hour.

Standing on the top of the Astronomy Tower looking down at the ground so far below, Hermione felt somewhat frightened. The blackness of the night was slowly creeping up around her, and she suddenly started as faint voices began whispering to her..

"Jump... just jump now... All will be well, just jump... jump..."

Shaking her head Hermione tried to step back, but the darkness was pressing against her, forcing her to instead step closer to the edge. Tendrils of the darkness was reaching up to her, hands that tried to drag her over the edge, panic welling up inside her as she desperately struggled against the pull of the darkness. She screamed, yelling for the overpowering darkness to leave her alone.

_Hermione.._

A figure suddenly appeared in front of her, bringing with it an odd sense of security. Stopping her furious fight against the now diminishing darkness, she instead focused on this figure in front of her. It slowly became clearer as the surroundings of the Tower melted away, giving in to a bright light.

_Hermione.._

The figure was now completely visible. Hermione stared, somewhat puzzled; Severus was standing in front of with a gentle smile.

"Do not worry, Hermione, I will always catch you.".

The surroundings began to blur again as her senses awakened.

"Hermione! Wake up!". A sharp intake of breath escaped her lips and Hermione gasped as her eyes snapped open, revealing the form of Severus Snape bending over the chair she was slumped in. Complete confusion overtook her for a second, before realization hit her; it was only a dream and she was now awake.

Looking up she saw the worry etched clearly into Severus' face, lining it deeply. He looked intently into her eyes as he said: "Are you alright? You were screaming in your sleep..".

"I.. It was.. only a nightmare.". Her voice trembled slightly, and she took a deep breath to steady herself.

His countenance softened as he took her also trembling hands into his. "Nightmares can be quite disturbing. It does not seem fair to put a word such as 'only' in connection with them.". He no longer looked at her, instead he stared unseeing at their hands, his eyes filled, for only a second, with intense fear and sorrow.

The sight made Hermione's heart twinge painfully.

_What is going through his mind?_

He stood abruptly, pulling his hands to himself. "I will get you something to drink.". He walked into his office and returned with a kettle. Placing it upon the dying embers, he magically filled it with water before starting up the fire again, all the while Hermione watching him with a frown. Surprisingly quickly the water was boiling and Hermione was handed a cup of tea.

Sipping the scalding liquid, Hermione felt calmer.

_I must have fallen asleep.._

"What time is it?", she asked after a while when she could no longer ignore Severus' silence. He looked up and frowned slightly before pulling a watch out of his pocket.

"It is half past three in the morning. I am afraid we both fell asleep while reading.". Hermione suddenly realized how pleasant his voice was when he was relaxed, and she shook her head to clear herself of the thought.

Instead she said: "I seem to have a tendency to do that.". Sighing deeply she continued: "I should probably get back to my room.". She put the empty teacup on the table beside her and stood up, wincing and grabbing hold of her chair when sharp pains stabbed at her back and shoulders.

_That ought to teach me not to fall asleep in a chair!_

"Are you alright?". Severus' voice was again concerned and she waved her hand dismissively. "Just a bit tense in back and shoulders, that's all. I really shouldn't sleep in chairs.", she grinned at him, but then grimaced as a sudden movement renewed the stab of pain.

"Sit down, Hermione.". He got up from his chair and walked over to her as she shook her head: "No, no, it will pass, it always does.".

"Sit down, Ms. Granger!". The sharpness of tone and the unexpected use of her last name made her comply without a thought, as she stared at him in surprise.

"Now, that's better. How often are you experiencing pain like this?", he demanded, his voice still somewhat sharp.

"Well, not that often, only if I've fallen asleep like this, in a chair.". She said uncertainly, a bit confused at his questions.

_Why is he asking this?_

A soft sigh escaped his lips and he looked at her sternly, his voice low and exasperated as he said: "For such a clever young woman, you do a poor job of taking care of your health. Such tension of your muscles should be dealt with, Hermione, not ignored.". He walked around the chair so he was standing behind her.

"Sit still, now.". A murmured charm and Hermione felt the back of the chair disappear.

_What on earth is he up to??_

She took a sharp intake of breath as she discovered what he had in mind. His hands were firmly massaging her shoulder and neck, finding all the sore spots and reducing the knots, easing the pain. Her eyes closed inadvertently, and all she could think of was how wonderful his hands felt on her tense body.

As his hands moved further down to her back, a deep sigh escaped her lips. Severus' chuckled almost silently behind her, but she didn't register it, so focused was her mind on the wondrous sensation of her muscles relaxing. His hands slid to her shoulders again, and without a thought Hermione leaned into his back, her eyes still closed.

Her eyes opened as she was gently pulled to a standing position, widening as he leaned toward her.

Their lips touched.

The fraction of second when their lips met seemed like an eternity and would forever be ingrained in Hermione's mind. Every detail of her surroundings was crystal clear as her lips met those of her Potions Master.

Uncertainty filled Hermione for a second, but his tentative lips seemed to whisk all though from her head as she gently leaned into him. Slowly the kiss deepened, and as she softly moaned his tongue slid out, meeting her own.

"No!". His voice was breathless as he suddenly pulled away, looking confused and angry at himself.

"Severus..". She took a step toward him, but he tumbled back, whispering: "Please leave.".

Confusion and hurt was written all over her face and invading her mind, and she didn't move. He closed his eyes and said, this time more firmly: "Please leave.". His breath was rapid, and Hermione slowly walked toward the door. A sharp pang of pain in her heart made her run the last couple of steps.

_It was all a lie._

In her haste to leave she failed to notice the dark figure that hastily drew back from the doorway and into the shadows.

As she returned to her rooms she flung herself onto the bed, sobbing silently into her pillow. Clutching her blanket she cried herself to sleep.


	6. Confrontations

A/n: _Armor: _Thanks. I just couldn't help myself, I really love Remus. And I hope the end wasn't too much of a cliché :) I've also checked the settings and made sure anonymous reviews are accepted.

_Mary Q: _Yes, there will be more chapters. I'm not too happy about promising a certain number of chapters, but I think I can guarantee at least three more. I'm glad you like the private lab.

_bluepearldrops:_ Thanks, and thanks for telling me as well. I'll try to make sure I spell it right from now on.

_blackdragonofdeath13, mysticdarkraven, jess, sweetytweety013, sesshyluver03: _Thank you very much, and I'll try to write as fast as possible.

A/n2: Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, so please review!

Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings – 6**

Severus awoke with a splitting headache and his head full of confused images of half-remembered dreams, all involving himself and Hermione in more or less odd situations.

Grumbling to himself, he forcefully pushed away the images and memories of the previous night that these dreams conjured, and staggered to the bathroom. Splashing ice-cold water on his face he pointedly ignored his own reflection. He did not want to see the guilt and repulsion in his own eyes.

_What the hell happened to me? How could I loose control like that?? First I force myself upon a student who is very fragile, if not suicidal, and then I act as though she is the one who started it all!_

He inadvertently looked up and shuddered. The look in his eyes was as he had expected; every bitter, angry, self-repulsive and guilty emotion that swarmed his mind was practically glowering out at him, tauntingly reminding him of his lack of self-control.

_What am I going to do now?_

He sighed exasperatedly and once again tried to force the thoughts away. It was no good, and his bad mood amplified many times, the scowl on his face deepening even further than usual. Hurriedly he conducted his morning toilette and stalked through his rooms with resounding steps and angrily wrenching the door to the hallway open.

On the threshold lay a black envelope and Severus froze in the doorway. A eerie feeling of dejà-vu crept over him, as he picked it up and sharply closed the door behind him. He tore the envelope open and searched his mind for a reason for this feeling, and the thought of another letter like this appeared.

Frowning he read the piece of paper inside:

"_Are you a spy, professor? Rumor has it you are. Rumor that, as you know, has already reached the ears of the Dark Lord. One wouldn't know whether it is true or not,_ _but no doubt the Dark Lord would appreciate knowledge about your recent behavior. Especially in regards to a certain Mudblood. A certain assistant. Your actions around her. And we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?_

_X"._

The blood drained completely from his face, leaving it even more sallow.

"How can this be?", he muttered to himself. He placed the letter in his pocket, suddenly paralyzed when a thought made his heart stop.

_If the He knows about Hermione, she is in great peril, he will no doubt use her against me. Such a wonderful weapon.. A weakness of both the Potions Master and the Boy-Who-Lived! I must warn her._

Rushing out of the room and through the hallways, he failed to notice the many curious glances and whispers that followed in his wake.

* * *

When Hermione woke up that morning her tears had been replaced with cold rage.

_How dare he?! One minute he's all over me, the next he's pushing me away as though I'm infected with some deadly disease!_

Her bad mood did not falter as she got ready for her classes, and her face was twisted into a scowl uncannily resembling the one of a certain professor. Every time she caught sight of herself in a mirror, the scowl deepened and the angry thoughts swirled even more furiously through her mind.

She grabbed her bag and stomped out of her room, slamming the door behind her and hurrying down the stairs. As she entered the common room she was met with a flurry of whispers, and stopped dead in her tracks.

Everyone had turned to stare at her when she had appeared, and was now rapidly whispering with each other while glancing at her. The rage intensified and, holding her head high, she strode through the room while ignoring the pointed looks.

_What the hell is the matter with them?? As if my day wasn't horrible enough already!_

She crawled out of the portrait hole and then stopped, seeing Harry and Ron standing a few feet down the corridor.

_They'll probably know what the commotion is about._

They both looked up as her footsteps neared, and then she froze. Upon seeing her Ron had turned completely still. He shot her an angry look, took Harry forcefully by the arm and dragged him off, Harry looking back and mouthing a quick apology before rounding the corner. His eyes was filled with an odd mixture of doubt and sympathy.

_Imbecilic morons! What was THAT about??_

Her expression was thunderous as she stalked after them. Every student who caught sight of her reacted as the Gryffindors, and by the time she descended the marble staircase she was met with stares and whispers from every single student.

Shaking with indignation and ice-cold fury, she marched past them and was about to enter the Great Hall, when a hand closed around her upper-arm.

Turning quickly to scold whoever had dared to come near her, she was met with Ginny's hard and severe face, and before Hermione could utter a word, she had been dragged away.

"I need to speak with you.", Ginny hissed through clenched teeth. She stopped outside a small girl's room just a few feet away from the Entrance Hall, and dragged Hermione through, closing and locking the door behind them.

"What the hell is going on??", Hermione snarled, crossing her arms defiantly across her chest and glowering at her friend with eyes so deadly, they would have made most people shrink away under her gaze.

"I could ask you the same thing.", Ginny said with a steady voice, that seemed to only barely contain her anger. She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and shoved in to Hermione's hands, and Hermione reluctantly lowered her eyes and read:

"_STOP THE DECAY OF MORALS AT HOGWARTS!_

_Hogwarts is rotting up from the inside! Many vile and immoral events take place at this famous school, and it is our duty as students to fight against the outrageous behavior of certain people!_

_We therefore urge everyone to stand up against the latest heinous and despicable development -the liaison between two of the people who should fight the hardest to uphold the morals at Hogwarts:_

_Head girl, Hermione Granger and Potions professor, Severus Snape._

_An involvement such as theirs should not occur, and we again urge everybody to let those who decay our morale know that such behavior is not acceptable!_

_You may, with good reason, ask where the proof for this relationship is, and we have thus included a photograph on the backside of this manifesto._

_Stand up against moral decay!_

_The Association against Moral Decay (AMD)"._

Hermione stared at the paper. It felt like her blood had stopped in her veins, and her head began spinning. With trembling hands she slowly turned the paper, closing her eyes. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes and looked at the backside.

Her eyes met a large photograph of herself and her Potions professor kissing.

The piece of paper slipped from her hands, and she stumbled backwards, eyes wide and hands shaking. The back of her legs bumped against the wall.

_How can this be? How could he do this to me?_

"Hermione.. What's going on?". Ginny's voice was low and solemn, her eyes concerned. "You told me there was nothing between you, but how can you explain this, then?".

"There's nothing between us!", Hermione sputtered, taking a step toward Ginny and shaking her head vigorously. "Ginny, it was only –he didn't even mean it! I mean, I'm.. Oh God, Ginny, I don't know what is going on..". She stared at Ginny, suddenly feeling tears in her eyes again. She tried to force them away, but to no avail.

Ginny pulled her into a tight embrace, and the grieve of the previous night overpowered Hermione. Rocking back and forth as a small child, Hermione cried her heart out on the shoulder of her friend.

Finally breaking apart, Ginny handed her a handkerchief and mumbled: "Why don't you tell me everything?".

Drying her eyes, Hermione took a shuddering breath. After closing her eyes briefly, she started to speak.

"There really is nothing between us, at least not what you think there is. You know how I feel about him, but I reckon that my feelings are deeper than I thought.

Last night.. we didn't meet in the class room as usual, instead we met in his private laboratory, and then we moved to his office to talk. Nothing unusual happened until a couple hours later.. He asked me to read this book.. He never allowed me to lend any of his books before, did you know that?"

Ginny smiled briefly at her as she shook her head, her eyes intense and concerned as Hermione continued:

"I fell asleep while reading and had this nightmare.. This really horrible nightmare, and he saved me.. woke me up. My back and shoulders hurt, and he insisted that I couldn't leave until I felt better. He gave me a massage, and then he.. he pulled me close and kissed me. I kissed him back, Ginny, but he pushed me away and told me to leave.. He rejected me. And now he's done this..!". The tears were falling silently again.

_Why can't I ever control my emotions?_

"Hermione.. I am so sorry, I really thought..". Ginny's voice trailed off. Hermione quietly said: "That I'd lied to you?".

"Yeah.. I'm sorry.".

"I know, it's OK.. But what am I going to do? The entire school is going to think that worst of me.. They'll believe that that I've been having an affair with him. And Harry and Ron.. I saw them in the hallway, and..". The image of Ron stalking away angrily and the doubt in Harry's eyes suddenly appeared in her mind, and she closed her eyes forcefully to push it away.

"They were angry at you?", Ginny asked.

"Ron certainly was! The way he looked at me.. He believes the rumors. I don't know about Harry, it seemed like he didn't know what to think.". Hermione sighed and turned away, furrowing her brow.

_It's bad enough to have to deal with Severus, if I have to deal with Harry and Ron as well.._

"Hermione, no matter what, I'm with you. I believe you.", Ginny said, her voice somber, yet imploring.

Hermione turned around again. "Thank you, Ginny, I really appreciate it.".

"What else are friends for, if not to lend support?. Ginny smiled brightly before her face became somber again. "What are you going to do? Maybe you should go to Dumbledore and explain everything?".

"I don't know. I mean, the rumor will spread to the teachers before the end of the day, I guess I might as well talk to him now. I don't know what to say about this picture, though..". She gestured toward the paper on the floor. "I can't really deny it, can I?".

Silence stretched out as they looked at the picture, both not knowing what to say.

_How am I ever going to get through this?_

Finally Hermione broke the silence by saying: "I had better get out there, I'll have to face them all sooner or later.".

"And I'll be by your side every time I can. I won't let you down.". Ginny smiled and opened the door. "Let's go face them.".

With a deep breath Hermione took a step forward.

* * *

"Professor!".

Severus halted as a familiar voice sounded behind him, and turned to dismiss the owner quickly.

Draco Malfoy walked casually up to him, an uncomfortably smug look on his face. "I though you might like to see this, professor.", he said, a gleam in his eyes that thoroughly unnerved Severus.

_This cannot be good.._

Taking the folded paper from the outstretched hands of his student, and unfolded it quickly. His heart stopped for a second as he saw the picture of himself and the Head Girl kissing.

"Shit.". He whirled around without a second glance at Draco, and half-ran toward the Entrance Hall.

_I have to talk her now, and then Dumbledore. How could this happen??_

Just as he rounded the corner the voice of Draco Malfoy drifted to his ears.

"I hope that Mudblood whore was good in bed.".

* * *

As Hermione walked out of the bathroom she slammed directly into the tall form of the person she least desired to meet; Severus Snape.

"Her- Ms. Granger, I must speak with you immediately!", he said in a low voice, grabbing her arm and attempting to drag her away, ignoring Ginny completely.

"Hell, no! Let go of me!", she hissed, wrenching her arm away from him. The anger returned to her full-force, and she fixed him with a withering glare.

A moment of confusion flashed upon his face before his eyes darkened, his eyebrows knitting together. "I understand your feelings, but it is of utmost importance that we speak this instant.". His visage was stern, but his voice betrayed an underlying current of –fear?

_Slimy bastard! He thinks he can play on my emotions to get me to forgive him!_

"I have no wish to discuss anything with you, _professor_, and you obviously have no respect for my feelings whatsoever.", she spat, successfully making each word sound like a malevolent insult. A matching anger flashed in his eyes as he took a sharp breath.

Grabbing hold of her arm again he hissed: "I have no time for this, or for any of your immature behavior, so if you-".

"But you have time to spread nasty rumors about me! It must have been such fun, bragging about how you got the filthy Gryffindor Mudblood to succumb to you, humiliate me in front of your precious Slytherins!", she shouted, disregarding the many people around them in the hallway, tears starting to spill from her eyes.

Ginny suddenly stepped between them, taking Hermione by the arm and leading her away. Before she could take more than two steps, Severus was standing in front of them and grabbed Hermione's other arm.

"This has nothing to do with you, Ms. Weasley, so stay out of it!", he snapped in his best class room tone.

"On the contrary, Professor, she's my friend so it has everything to with me. And don't you think you've done enough already?", Ginny said in the coldest of voices. A collective gasp resounded from the crowd –no one had ever dared to speak to the Potions Master in such a way.

Feeling extremely grateful toward Ginny for rescuing her, Hermione let herself be dragged through the Entrance Hall and up the marble staircase, away from the prying eyes and whispers from the other students.

The Potions Master stared after them, looking completely astounded.

* * *

Severus was pacing in front of the fireplace in the Headmaster's office.

_How the hell could this happen? Who took that picture? What will the Dark Lord do now?_

His mind was overflowing with these thoughts and many more as he paced, waiting for the arrival of the Headmaster.

He had finally got himself pulled together after the unexpected departure of Hermione and Ginny Weasley, and had, rather forcefully, told the gaping students to be on with their business before he had barged of to the Headmasters office.

The office was empty upon his arrival, but, knowing Albus Dumbledore, Severus was certain that the Headmaster would soon appear.

In the meantime he paced in front of the blazing flames, his scowl even more prominent than usual, and his emotions twirling inside of him. Anger, guilt, fear, despair, all making him feel more confused by the minute.

_What the hell made Malfoy say that??_

After having heard the comment made by Draco Malfoy back in the hallway, Severus had spun around with his wand at the ready and would most certainly have hexed the life out of him if the young man been in the hallway. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on one's viewpoint, the young man had no longer been there.

_And just _who_ does that pestering Weasley think she is??_

The door to the office opened and the Headmaster stepped through, an unusually serious expression on his face. Without a word he sat down and gestured for Severus to sit down as well.

Reluctantly Severus sat and looked expectantly at the Headmaster, but the somber man would not look at him. Instead he contemplatively examined his own hands for a while, only looking up when Severus cleared his throat.

"Albus, you probably know why I am here.". He only just managed to make his voice void of the turmoil he felt inside.

"Yes, Severus, I believe I do.". The Headmaster finally looked at him. "I must ask you, my boy, are the allegations correct?". His eyes had lost the characteristic twinkle.

Feeling an overwhelming desire to scream with hysterical laughter, Severus couldn't hold a derisive snort back. "You mean, am I having an affair with the Head Girl?".

Closing his eyes and cursing his own impertinence, Severus answered: "No, Albus, I am not involved with Ms. Granger in such a way.".

Nodding slowly, the Headmaster spoke again: "I see. Could you then explain this photograph to me?". He pulled out a copy of the manifesto, and placed it in his desk. The sight of the photograph made Severus close his eyes again.

"It was a lapse of judgment from my part. Ms. Granger had nothing to do with it, and I assume the entire blame.". It was very difficult to maintain the detached quality of his voice. "I do not know how it was possible for anyone to take this photograph, but I fear that the consequences of its existence might be even more grave than just a deterioration of the honors of myself and Ms. Granger.".

With these words Severus pulled the message from the unknown person from his pocket and threw it on the desk. Frowning, the Headmaster picked it up and read it. Slowly putting it down on the desk, Albus Dumbledore suddenly looked every bit as old as his extended age.

"If this reaches Voldemort's ears, she is in great danger.". He sighed wearily.

"I know.". Severus said. To his horror he felt himself shaking, and he stubbornly stared at the desk to force himself to be calm.

_I cannot think of what he would do to her, I must not..._

"We must speak to her immediately, it would be impossible to keep this from her. But, Severus.. If we are to have any chance of protecting her, the two of you must come to some sort of.. truce.".

Severus' head snapped up and his eyes found the Headmaster's piercing ones.

_What the hell is he on about?_

"A truce?".

"The rumor of the supposed 'lover's quarrel' in the hallway travels fast.".

A shadow fell over Severus' face. "I have no idea what is going through the head of that girl.", he muttered.

To his surprise the Headmaster shot him a sly smile before saying: "I daresay you don't, Severus. But I believe that you have.. well, broken her heart.".

Severus stared at the Headmaster, utterly flabbergasted. "'Broken her heart'? What on earth do you mean, Albus?".

"In case you have not deduced it yet, she has, most likely, fallen in love with you.".

"That's preposterous! How dare you make such insinuations?!". Without noticing Severus had jumped to his feet, glaring at the man before him. His blood was thundering in his ears, and he was desperately ignoring the little voice in the back of his mind.

_She cannot, she must not, I will not believe it.._

"How long are you going to deny your own feelings, Severus? You must acknowledge how you feel about her.".

The voice of the Headmaster did nothing but infuriate him, and Severus shook his head forcefully, turned around and stalked to the door.

"That is absurd, Albus, and I will not tolerate it!".

The door slammed shut behind him, and he stormed of toward the dungeons.

* * *

Shaking with tears and fury, Hermione buried her head in her pillow. Ginny was sitting beside her on the bed, silently mumbling sooting words. She had brought Hermione to her room after their confrontation with the Potions Master, and was now letting her cry the tears she needed.

A knock on the door startled both of them, and after casting Hermione a glance, Ginny walked over and opened it ajar.

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Hermione wiped away the tears. Ginny was mumbling to someone outside the room, and Hermione furrowed her brow.

_Who could that be?_

"Oh, alright, I'll ask her! But you not getting in if she won't talk to you!".

Ginny turned around and shot Hermione an apologetic look. "It's Harry, he insist on talking with you. Do you want me to let him in?".

_Why not, I'll have to confront him sooner or later.._

"Sure.", she mumbled.

Harry pushed the door open and shuffled in, looking extremely nervous. "Um.. Hi Hermione.".

Annoyance flared in Hermione. "What do you want, Harry?".

"I.. I came to say that I don't believe the rumors, and that I'm going to stand by you.". His face was determined, and the annoyance in Hermione extinguished immediately, being replaced with guilt. She jumped of the bed and embraced him tightly, mumbling: "Thank you.".

Harry breathed a deep sigh of relief and all three of them sat down on Hermione's bed.

"So.. I guess you'd like to know about the photograph?". Hermione's voice was resigned, and Harry simply nodded: "Only if you want to tell me.".

A feeling of deep gratitude spread throughout her, and after smiling slightly, she told Harry everything she had been holding back from him. He just sat there and listened, and Ginny had placed a comforting hand on Hermione's. When she had finished her story, Harry pulled her into his arms again.

_Oh God, I've really missed being this close with them.. But what about Ron?_

"Harry.. What does Ron say?".

_Please answer me, I need to hear this.._

A shadow fell over Harry's face, and his voice was grim when he said: "He refuses to listen to reason. But you don't have to worry about him, if he can't realize his own stupidity he's not –". A sharp knock on the door interrupted him, and Ginny got up to open it again. This time she instantly stepped aside.

Professor McGonagall walked briskly into the room and stopped in front of Hermione.

_Oh, no, what is wrong..?_

"Ms. Granger, I must ask you to come with me.", she said, her voice somewhat strained.

Hermione got to her feet and nodded, trying to suppress the fear that rose in her at the unusual tone of her Professor's voice, and followed her out of the room. To her intense gratitude, Ginny and Harry followed them, and Professor McGonall, despite a stern look, said nothing.

Reaching the entrance to Dumbledore's office, the stone gargoyle, McGonagall said: "I must ask you to go to your classes now, Mr. Potter and Ms Weasley.". They opened their mouths to protest, but Hermione shook her head. "No, I'll be alright.". After a glance at each other, Harry shrugged and Ginny nodded.

"Pepper Imps!", McGonagall announced, and the stone gargoyle jumped aside, letting them step onto the spiral staircase. Neither of them said a word.

They soon reached the doors of he office, and McGonagall knocked sharply before opening the door. Hermione walked inside, and McGonagall nodded curtly at the Headmaster before stepping back onto the staircase.

"Hello, Ms Granger. Have a seat, please.". Dumbledore smiled reassuringly at Hermione as she sat down, but she couldn't help but feel a bit apprehensive.

"I am certain that you know the reason for my summoning you here, Ms Granger.". Dumbledore's blue eyes locked on hers.

"Yes, Professor.". Her voice quavered slightly.

_Why the hell am I feeling this nervous all of a sudden??_

"And I believe you will be relieved to hear, that I am convinced of your innocence.".

_What?_

Her mouth nearly dropped open, and she couldn't keep her eyes from becoming round with surprise. "Really?".

"Yes, Ms. Granger. I have spoken with Professor Snape earlier today, and he assured me that you have no blame. But I am afraid that despite my own conviction, it is necessary to ask you a couple of questions.".

At the mention of her Potions Master, Hermione couldn't help but feel a sting of tears behind her eyes. Biting down hard on her lip, she took a deep breath and forced herself to nod.

"Ms. Granger.. Has Professor Snape ever done anything to you against your will, or said anything improper to you? I know of.. your kiss, of course, but has he ever done anything other than that?". Dumbledore's face was very somber, and despite a small urge to incriminate the man who had made her cry her heart out, Hermione was unable to lie to him.

_It wouldn't do any good either.. It would just ruin our lives even more that it already had been._

"No, he has never done anything like that. And about the.. kiss, I don't want it to have consequences. I was just as much a part of it.". She looked into Dumbledore's eyes. "I don't want him to get fired, if that's what it might mean."

"I am afraid that not just I have a say in that, but I will promise you that I will do what I can.". A concerned look spread across his face, and he his voice was very gentle. "How are you feeling?".

Taken aback, Hermione opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again.

_How does he know.. I guess he really is all-knowing. How_ do_ I feel? Well, hurt of course.. But otherwise? I don't know.. I guess I wish he hadn't pushed me away like that._

"I'm not really sure, Professor..", she started, uncertain as to how she should continue.

"Ms Granger, I hope you will forgive me for asking this. Are you in love with Professor Snape?".

Silence ensued.

_What should I say to him? I don't even know if I really _am_ in love with him, but how else could I describe these feelings? How do I explain what I feel?_

"I.. I'm not sure what to tell you.", Hermione finally said.

"I know it must be difficult for you, but please know that you can trust me. I simply want to know because it will be easier to take your feelings into account, if I actually know what you feel.".

_What on earth does he mean? Oh God, I'm confused.. I guess I might as well admit it, though.._

"Well.. I guess I am in love him.".

Once again silence ensued as the Headmaster nodded absentmindedly, apparently lost in thought. Hermione did not know what to say, and instead examined her fingers idly. She wasn't completely sure of what it was that had made her admit her feelings, but it somehow felt like it would help if the Headmaster knew. The confusion in her mind was deepening.

Eventually the Headmaster cleared his throat and said: "Well, I hope you would not mind having a day off, because I strongly advice you to go back to your room and then take a long walk to clear your mind. I am certain you could use some time away from the furor you are certain to meet from the other students. And do tell your friends that they must attend their classes tomorrow, if they should feel.. unable to do so today.". He smiled at Hermione's astounded expression.

"Thank you, Professor.". Hermione smiled at him and rose from her chair.

At that moment the door burst open and McGonagall hurried into the office.

"Albus," she exclaimed, "Representatives from the Ministry will arrive within hours. I just got a message from Arthur, they plan on taking us by surprise.". She sat down in front of the desk and took a deep breath.

"Did he know why, Minerva?". Dumbledore's voice had a small edge to it.

"They have heard the rumors. It is an official inquiry. Albus, you know what consequences it could have if it became official, even if everyone inside these walls already believe the rumors.". She looked like she was extremely worried.

"Yes, I do know. Ms Granger, I am afraid I will have to ask you to go to your room and stay there, until further notice.".

Hermione was slightly startled, her mind had been swarming with questions and half-formed thoughts about the conversation she had just overheard. Nodding quickly, she walked out of the office and hurried toward her room.

_What is going to happen now?_


	7. The inquiry

A/n 1: _sweetytweety013, Cow as White as Milk, sesshyluver03:_ Thank you :)

_ShilviGrl/Amyjenc1:_ I couldn't agree with you more, Fudge is such an idiot.

A/n 2: If you have some constructive criticism, comments and/or questions, I would very much like to hear them. So please review!

Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –7**

_How dare he, the insolent, senile, meddling bastard?!_

Severus slammed the dungeon door after him, causing the assembled students to jump in their seats, which in turn caused Severus to glare at them with eyes that stopped every single snide comment about both his tardiness and his supposed affair. Visibly shivering with fear, the class of second year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs stared at him.

Closing his eyes, Severus tried to ignore the overwhelming desire to let his anger and confusion out on someone, _anyone_, and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and spoke in voice so low it should have been humanly impossible to hear. Nonetheless, every student in the room heard it.

"We do not have sufficient time for our lesson today. Class dismissed.".

A silence met his words, and the students glanced at each other, unable to believe what they had just heard. Feeling his temper rise at alarming speed, Severus growled: "Get out. Now.".

The students jumped up and hurried out of the room, noticeably relieved, and Severus buried his head in his hands.

_If I keep this up I'll soon be either in Azkaban as a murderer or in St. Mungo's as a lunatic_.

Groaning he sat down at his desk and rested his head on the tabletop. The maelstrom of emotions that had brutally attacked him since he had awakened in the morning, had not done any good to his already existing headache. He had no idea how things could have gone from tolerable, even nice, to completely disastrous in less than twenty-four hours.

_What is wrong with me? Hermione is my student.. How could I do that to her, how could I act on these.. attractions?? I am a perverted old man, there is no other explanation. _

The headache was slowly becoming a migraine as the well-known feelings of bitterness and self-disgust washed over him. A tiny voice in the back of his mind was protesting, reminding him of Albus words and telling him that she had kissed him back, but he firmly shut it out.

_She is _not_ in love with me, she is not angry because I 'broke her heart'.. She is angry because I forced myself on her and ruined her reputation! Albus must be raving mad, thinking a girl like her would ever even consider me.. Sheer madness!_

A sharp knock on his door startled him out of his reverie half an hour later, and he jumped to his feet as the door opened.

Remus Lupin walked in, his expression somewhat irascible and his eyes full of contained anger. "I would like a word with you, Severus.", he said, his voice low and determined.

Staring at the man in front of him, Severus suddenly realized that something was different. Remus Lupin was usually a man that was regarded as the most kind and friendly of persons, but his entire demeanor now spoke of dire consequences should anyone argue with him. Keeping his eyes on his colleague, Severus sat down as Lupin took the seat across the desk.

Arranging his face into the usual expression of polite boredom he usually wore around his colleagues, Severus said: "And to what may I owe the pleasure of your visit, Lupin? Do you not have any classes yet?".

"I honestly did not think you would be such a fool, Severus.".

"Excuse me?". The wariness had disappeared from Severus, and the anger was rushing back instead. "Just what is that supposed to mean?".

"What did you do to her?". Lupin's voice had changed into exasperation.

"I thought that was obvious, Lupin, you must have seen the photograph like everyone else in this school.", Severus mumbled, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. To his utter surprise, Lupin smiled and said, with a tone one would have expected if it had been directed toward a toddler: "I mean after that. What did you do to her, that made her so angry at you, that she started an argument in front of half the school?".

_If I did not know any better, I would say that he treats me like a confused child.._

"I asked her to leave, of course. I am her teacher, it was a completely inappropriate action and I had to stop before..". He cut himself off, unsure of what it exactly was he had intended to say.

"Before you realized that your feelings for her are returned.".

"What?!". Severus had jumped to his feet and was staring down at his colleague, an incredulous look on his face. "Don't you dare say what you are implying, she is _not_ in love with me! I will not tole-".

He was cut off as Lupin jumped to his feet as well, and his eyes were flashing warningly. "She _is_ in love with you, Severus! She is not angry with you because of the photograph and the consequences it might have, she is angry because you _hurt_ her! Why can you not just realize that? She loves you.".

A stunned silence followed his words. Severus had no idea what to say, the temperamental outburst was so out of character for Lupin, and his words were slowly sinking into his mind. Despite the realization that Lupin might have a point, he still refused to believe it.

_She cannot, she must not, I will not believe it..._

"And where is your proof for that?". His voice was strained, forcefully kept even.

"I do not doubt that she would be most angry with both me and the Headmaster if she ever found out that we had disclosed it, but she has admitted it to Albus.".

_Oh.. Shit. What have I done to her?? What am I going to do?_

"I.. I do not know what to do.". Severus was now unable to keep a slight waver out of his voice.

"I think that is quite obvious, Severus. You must apologize to her, and tell her the truth about your feelings.". Lupin smiled sadly. "I don't doubt it will be one of the most difficult things you have ever done, but if this is not sorted out, both of you will be very miserable for a long time.".

Severus closed his eyes. He felt drained and exhausted, and his head was spinning. He opened his mouth to make some snide comment, something that would make Lupin go away and leave him alone with his thoughts. The words that came out instead shocked both of the men. "I am afraid.".

A frown creased the face of Lupin as Severus closed his eyes again, mentally scolding his own tongue for its recklessness and loss of control. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself to receive either the ridicule and scorn or the pity, that would no doubt come from the mouth of his colleague. To his surprise it did not come. "Why?".

Severus' head snapped up. Lupin's expression was calm and interested, not at all full of contempt or pity. Frowning slightly, Severus regarded the other man.

_Why should I confide in him? He is an insufferable werewolf, that once made my life a living hell, and I have no reason to trust him. _

Feeling very apprehensive, Severus continued regarding the other man. Lupin patiently kept his eyes on him and, without knowing exactly why, Severus ignored his doubts and said: "She is a weakness. If she was captured by Death Eaters she would be subjected to the most horrible of tortures, and I would not hesitate in rushing to her aid. I would then fall into the hands of the Dark Lord, and with the combined power and knowledge of both me and her, the Dark Lord would have one of the most dangerous weapons ever imaginable. We would be doomed.".

A dry chuckle sounded from Lupin, and Severus frowned. The playful tone of the Defense against the Dark Arts Professor confused him, as Lupin said: "You do have very high thoughts of yourself, don't you?". But the comment was not derisive, and Severus found himself reluctantly smiling at it.

"I guess I do. But it is nonetheless the truth, and Hermione is in great danger. And whoever took that photograph may turn out to be a reason of concern as well.". A worried expression crossed his features as Lupin nodded. "Yes, and furthermore, this whole affair is about to become official.".

At the sight of the puzzlement on Severus' face, he continued: "Officials from the Ministry of Magic are on their way to carry out a formal investigation about the supposed affair between yourself and Hermione. They wanted to take us by surprise, but thanks to our Ministry informants, we know about it. That was actually the original reason for this little talk."

"But you just could not ignore a chance to scold me and take your anger out on me.". Severus mumbled.

"Well, I rather thought you would appreciate the fact that it was _I_ who delivered the message instead of some of our other colleagues.". A small grin accompanied the words of the professor, and he started laughing at Severus' doubtful expression. "If Minerva had been allowed to do what she initially intended, you would be in the Hospital Wing right now. She was rather livid when she first saw the photograph, we only just succeeded in restraining her.".

"I take it she believed that I had seduced Hermione and was having an affair with her?", Severus said with a derisive snort.

"She pretty much did, yes. It took me quite a while to convince her of the truth.".

_Why would he do that? He had no way of knowing what had actually happened, no reason to vouch for me, or to-_

"Don't look so suspicious, Severus!". Lupin's voice cut off his train of thought, and Severus frowned at him, feeling rather annoyed. He had apparently not been able to keep his expression indifferent, and the loss of control was getting on his nerves. His voice was very annoyed when he said: "And how would you be able to convince Minerva of the truth? You had not spoken with me then, for all that you knew I could have had an affair with Hermione.".

His question caused another laugh to issue from his associate, and Severus patience was quickly waning. He sneered and crossed his arms as he waited for a reply. Lupin finally chuckled: "You forget, Severus, I have known you for many years. We may not be friends, but I know enough about you to feel certain of the fact that you would never have an affair with a student. That was also what I told Minerva, and she agreed with me in the end, though somewhat reluctantly.".

Severus glared at him, but refrained from commenting. Instead he asked: "Has Albus told Hermione of the danger I believe she is in?".

"Well, no. Not yet, the news of the investigation interrupted their talk. He said he would tell her as soon as the inquiry is over".

Frowning, Severus leaned back in his chair, absentmindedly staring into space. He was startled slightly when Lupin rose from his chair.

Shaking his head slightly, Lupin walked to the door and said: "I should be on my way, I do not want to be late for my class.". He opened the door and walked out of it, turning around before he closed it and grinned: "By the way, Severus, Hermione _is_ going to graduate in just a month. She wont be your student for much longer.".

The door was closed before Severus could jump to his feet, and he cursed at the impertinence of Remus Lupin.

_Insufferable werewolf!_

Sighing deeply and rubbing his temples, Severus sat down at his desk again and let his mind wander.

_What the hell am I going to do? Hermione will never let me come near her again, let alone give me a chance to speak to her.. And just what is Fudge thinking, sending Officials to investigate?? Damn the Ministry, damn that werewolf, damn Albus, damn my own weakness!_

* * *

When Hermione returned to her room, she was met with the worried questions of Harry and Ginny. After recounting the events in the Headmaster's office, Hermione threw herself on her bed, feeling extremely exhausted and emotionally drained.

_Feels like I've been on a bloody emotional roller coaster in the last twenty-four hours!  
_

They sat in silence for a while, Hermione feeling miserable, and Harry and Ginny seemingly lost in thought. Finally the silence was broken when Harry said: "Hermione.. What are you going to do now?".

Frowning, Hermione asked: "What do you mean, Harry?".

"About Snape. I mean, maybe it wasn't his fault that rumor was spread, maybe-".

Hermione sharply cut him off. "What are you talking about?".

Harry sighed and and cast her an odd glance before explaining: "You've just kind of.. _assumed_ that he's responsible for these rumors.. Maybe he rejected you last night because he was afraid, or something, and then someone else took that picture without his knowledge.".

_What on earth is he on about??_

"And what difference would it make?? He still lied to me when he told me that he loved me, he still played around with my emotions when he kissed me, and he wasn't exactly denying that it was his fault earlier today!". Her voice had a slightly hysterical edge to it, and Hermione took a deep breath to steady herself.

_I cannot break down, I must be strong.._

"We didn't exactly give him a chance to explain.", Ginny said in a thoughtful voice. "I mean, we walked off before he could say anything.".

Shaking her head, Hermione bit her lip.

_I do _not_ need this right now.._

"Hermione.. You know I don't like Snape, I never have and probably never will. But no matter how mean he is, I don't believe he would hurt you like that on purpose.". Harry said quietly, taking Hermione's hand.

Fighting hard to keep the threatening tears away from her eyes, Hermione mumbled: "But how could he reject me like that? If he really loved me, like he said he did, he wouldn't have done that..".

"I dunno.. I don't know him, I don't know why he reacts like he does. Like I said, he might be afraid of something. Maybe he wanted to avoid a situation like this one, with rumors all over the school. I think you should talk with him as soon as this stupid inquiry is over-"-

Hermione's head snapped up. "No! I wont talk to him. If he really didn't mean to hurt me, he can come to me!". The hurt and humiliation of being rejected was still evident in her, and she determinedly shook her head.

_I refuse to let him best me, I must be strong._

Harry and Ginny shot each other a concerned look, but kept quiet.

* * *

The next couple of hours passed without further incidents. Severus' mind kept mulling over the many thoughts, and he only half-heartedly sneered at the few students that dared smirking at him. The many whispers suddenly didn't matter to him, even though he knew what they were about, his mind kept returning to the fact that Hermione did not yet know what kind of danger she was in. That led to thoughts of the horrible torture she would have to endure should she be caught, and when he forced his mind away from that, he instead pondered the identities of respectively the anonymous photographer and the one of this 'X', who seemed determined to make sure he did not forget the threat of the Dark Lord. As if he could have anyway.

Halfway through his last class, Remus Lupin knocked on the door with a written note from the Headmaster. Leaving the class to Lupin's supervision, Severus quickly walked to the Headmaster's office.

"Just a stupid inquiry.", he mumbled to himself as he knocked on the door. When he entered it was with an indifferent expression.

* * *

Hermione, Ginny and Harry had wordlessly agreed to avoid the subject of one Potions Master, and had instead spend the previous couple of hours talking. Hermione had not been able to keep tears from overwhelming her every once in a while, and her friends had comforted her as they best could. When McGonagall knocked on the door to Hermione's room and told her the time for the inquiry had come, Hermione simply nodded at her friends and followed her professor out of the room.

They walked briskly toward the office. Just as they stepped onto the staircase, McGonagall turned around and said: "Ms. Granger, I would like you to know that you have the full support of the Hogwarts faculty, no matter what happens during this inquiry or in the future.".

Hermione opened her mouth to ask what the professor meant, but they had reached the office doors, and Hermione instead frowned slightly, confused about what the professor meant with her comment. Determined to figure it out later, she held her head high as she stepped into the office.

* * *

"Hello, Professor Snape.". The clipped voice of Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic, greeted Severus. "Would you like to have a seat?".

Raising his eyebrows slightly, Severus nodded and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the Headmaster's desk.

_Pompous fool.. Acting as though this was his office._

Apart from the Minister and the Headmaster, two Aurors were also present.

"I am certain you are wondering why you have been called to the Headmaster's office, Professor, and I am afraid the reason is not too pleasant.", the Minister began. His words were polite and friendly enough, but his voice was cold and his expression contemptuous. "Certain rumors has reached the ears of the Board of Governors, and I have been asked to personally investigate these rumors. Now, I know a rumor is hardly what one could refer to as evidence of anything,", he laughed coldly, "But it has come to my intention that there is indeed factual evidence in this matter.".

Dumbledore coughed lightly, clearing his throat, and quietly inquired: "Would you like to elaborate, Cornelius? Which rumors do you refer to?".

The cold smile grew even wider. "Oh, I'm sure you have no idea, Dumbledore. Very well, then. I am referring to the rumor of an affair between Professor Snape here and your Head Girl.". His eyes rested on the Potions Master, and Severus calmly returning the look, his face still impassive.

"Ah, yes, I thought it might be that. I have already investigated this matter, and it is my conclusion that the rumor is nothing more than that. A rumor.". Dumbledore's voice had an underlying severity, and his eyes were fixed on the Minister's face.

Fudge snorted and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, slammed on the table and sneered: "Then how would you explain this photograph?".

The piece of paper was one of the manifestos that had spread throughout the school, and the faithful picture was making Severus' temper diminish rapidly. Taking a deep breath he opened his mouth and spoke the first words he had said since his arrival: "It is very simple. There is nothing other than a student-teacher relationship between Ms. Granger and myself, and this picture is merely an attestation of an error of judgment from my side.".

"You expect me to believe that?! You expect me to believe that you have not seduced a student of yours, that this picture happens to be a the only time anything inappropriate has happened between you? The odds of that are ludicrously small!", Fudge bellowed, his false politeness gone.

Dumbledore regarded him with sharp eyes before he said: "It is the truth, Cornelius. I have personally spoken with Severus and Ms. Granger, and they have both ensured me that there is nothing else to this matter than what is obvious from this picture. I believe them, Cornelius, and you have no reason not to.".

"And just what kind of punishment have you decided upon, Dumbledore? Even if you believe there is nothing else between them, his actions should still have consequences.". His voice had dropped to the cold sneer again.

"I have decided upon no punishment.". The incredulous look on Fudge's face made Dumbledore continue. "The Teaching Contract of Hogwarts clearly states that student-teacher-relationships will result in immediate termination of employment. However, since this was not an actual relationship, there is no ground in the contract to take such drastic measures. A smaller punishment could have been arranged, but I have been asked to ensure that the incident will not have any consequences.".

Stunned, Severus stared at the Headmaster.

_The only one who could ask of such a thing would be Hermione, but why on earth would she do that?_

Fudge was staring at Dumbledore, apparently without any idea of what to say. He finally pulled himself enough together to ask: "And who asked for no consequences?".

"Ms. Granger did.". Dumbledore had shifted his eyes from the Minister and was instead gazing at Severus, a small smile crossing his features faster than most would have perceived. "Ms. Granger asked that there was no consequences for Professor Snape.".

Fudge had quickly regained his contemptuous air, and said: "Really? Well, I hope you don't mind, Dumbledore, but I would like to hear those words from her own mouth.".

As on cue, there was a knock at the door. Smiling broadly, Dumbledore said: "Of course, Cornelius, that would in fact be her.". The door swung open and Hermione walked in, followed by Professor McGonagall. Pointedly ignoring Severus, Hermione sat down in the other chair in front of the desk, and looked at Dumbledore.

"Ms. Granger, I would like to introduce you to Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic.", Dumbledore said as he gestured toward the Minister, the twinkle once again in place.

With a polite smile Hermione rose and shook hands with Fudge, who plastered a would-be kind smile on his face. He nodded briefly at McGonagall, whose lips thinned threateningly, and then began a speech similar to the one he had given Severus when he had first entered.

As the Minister spoke, Severus was discreetly studying her. Her expression was one of polite interest, but Severus, who had spend many hours in her company, could also see the underlying annoyance. A small pang of some unknown emotion suddenly hit him, and he found himself craving the days of their tentative friendship.

_If only I could have controlled myself, we would not be in this predicament!_

Sighing unnoticably, Severus cast her a last glance before turning away. Something caught his eye and he turned back, sharply looking at her eyes.

_Has she been crying?? Oh no.. What the hell have I done? I have to talk to her as soon as-_

His thoughts were cut off as Hermione started answering the Minister's questions.

"..That is correct, there has been no other incidents. I have already told the Headmaster this.", she said, her voice slightly strained.

"I see. I have also been informed that you have requested no consequences, is that right?". Fudge's voice left no doubt about his opinion; he did not find Hermione's testimony believable. Anger was beginning to pulse through Severus' veins, and he took a deep breath to steady himself.

Hermione seemed to hesitate for a second before answering. "Yes, I asked that there be no consequences.". She stared at her own fingers, as Fudge glared at her, obviously annoyed. A small smile crept over his face, and Severus stiffened in his chair.

_What is he up to now..?_

"Ms. Granger, though I do not doubt your testimony-", Hermione's head snapped up and an expression of obvious disbelief crossed her features, "-I would like to you to repeat your statement under the influence of Veritaserum.".

Complete silence fell over the room. No one had ever heard of anyone using Truth Serum in such a matter; in fact, the few student-teacher-relationships there had ever been had all been dealt with without either the Ministry or any potions. Fudge was smirking, looking as though he was certain of having fooled them all.

"I am not certain that will be necessary, Cornelius.", Dumbledore said sharply. To Severus' surprise, Hermione shook her head and said quietly: "It's alright, sir. I have nothing to hide."

Fudge stared at her. He seemed to have been certain that she would refuse, and her answer had taken him by surprise.

One of the Aurors handed Hermione a vial of the clear liquid, which she quickly drank. A second passed before she responded to the Serum, her voice becoming monotonous. After repeating her answers, Fudge was angrier and his face more red than ever, the Headmaster's eyes were twinkling and Severus smirking.

Looking as though he was struggling to speak coherently, the Minister informed them that there was no grounds for action by the Minstry and stormed out of the office, quickly followed by the Aurors.

"Severus.. I think it is best if you return to your class now. There are some urgent matters Ms. Granger and I need to discuss, and it would furthermore be best if she stayed here until the Serum wears off.", Dumbledore said, his voice low and his eyes fixed on Hermione's face. She was determinedly staring out of the window. Severus nodded curtly at the Headmaster and left the office.

_I have to speak with her as soon as possible._

* * *

"Hermione.". The Headmaster's voice cut through her thoughts, and she turned to look at him. He was smiling at her somewhat sadly, and she frowned.

_Something's wrong..._

"Yes? Is there something wrong?", she said, carefully keeping her voice even.

Dumbledore's smile disappeared. A slow anxiety was creeping into Hermione; she had rarely seen the Headmaster like this, seeming to be so worried. He sighed deeply, and said: "Earlier today, it was brought to my intention that, due to circumstances beyond our control, you may be in grave danger.".

_No beating around the bush.._

"I see. What kind of danger, and which circumstances?". Her voice was unnaturally calm, and it quite surprised her. The unease that was building inside of her should have been more pronounced, but it seemed as though the confrontation with the Minister had quelled her strong emotions. Instead she felt a dull pain in her heart, and made a quiet promise to herself to be strong.

_I must be strong, I cannot let my emotions affect me in such a way._

"Because of the rumors about your involvement with Professor Snape, it is probable that you have become a very likely target of Voldemort and his Death Eaters.", the Headmaster said.

Frowning, Hermione stared at him.

_But I've always been a target. Being friends with The-Boy-Who-Lived has it's dangers..._

"I know that you have always considered yourself a target, because of Harry. You are a weakness to him, and now you are also a weakness to Professor Snape, a man who has betrayed the trust of Voldemort by being a spy."

"I am no weakness to him,", she answered the old man in front of her, "He doesn't care about me.".

To her surprise, Dumbledore again smiled sadly. "He does care, Hermione. More than he ever has, and it scares him.".

_Absurd.. Sounds just like Harry's twaddle.._

"With all due respect, sir, I don't believe that. If he really cared he wouldn't have pushed me away like that.", she said through clenched teeth. Remembering her own promise from only a few minutes earlier, she forced herself to remain calm as the Headmaster continued to smile at her.

"I daresay I would have a hard time convincing you, but I sincerely hope you soon realize that he really does care. Just try to give him a chance to explain.".

Nodding reluctantly, Hermione got up from her chair. "I'll try. If you don't mind, sir, I would like to return to my room.".

"Of course. Before you leave, I would like you to know that, as a result of the increased threat toward you, you must remain on the castle grounds. I hope you understand.". His tone of voice indicated that she had no say in this matter, and sighing irritably, she nodded curtly and strode out of the office.

* * *

Severus was standing in the shadows of the hallway, waiting for Hermione to emerge from the entrance to the Headmaster's office.

_How am I going to do this, what am I going to say to her? What do I _want_ to say to her?_

Changing his mind for the umpteenth time since he had decided to wait for her, Severus turned around and started walking away. Behind him the sound of stone moving was heard and he froze, before slowly turning back.

Hermione was standing in the middle of the hallway, steadily regarding him, her voice cold as she said: "Hello, Professor.".

Severus took a couple of steps toward her, then stopped. Her entire demeanor was cold and standoffish, and the change from the kind and openhearted person she usually was, perplexed him. Not knowing how else to begin, he said: "I wanted to say that.. that I apologize for my behavior yesterday.".

His voice was eerily calm and cold, and not nearly as sincere as he had hoped it to be. She seemed to have noticed it as well; a hurtful expression quickly crossed her features. Regaining her demeanor, she said: "Apology accepted. I would like to apologize myself, my behavior earlier today was inexcusable.".

Her words chilled him to the bone. Her tone of voice was exactly the same as the one he so often used himself, and the underlying bitterness was tangible in the air. He stared at her, unable to utter a single word. After a tense moment she mumbled: "Goodbye.", turned around and walked away.

A deep feeling of loss spread throughout Severus as he stared after her.


	8. Warnings and broken hearts

A/n: If you have constructive criticism, questions or just a comment, I would very much like to hear from you. So please, please, _please_ review!

Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –8**

"I'll be there in a moment, Ginny.". Hermione smiled at the redhead, as she closed the door behind her. It was the night before her final day at Hogwarts, the day before graduation. A Graduation Ball had been arranged for the 7th years, and Hermione was getting ready for the dance. She would be going alone. Harry had invited Ginny, and Ron hadn't spoken to her since the day the supposed affair had been revealed, but it didn't really matter to her.

The rumors had quickly disappeared. Everybody knew that there had been an official inquiry, and that no one had been punished, and Harry and Ginny had been very helpful in convincing their fellow Gryffindors of the fact that it had a one-time-thing. Since Hermione had no blame in the first place, and no one dared to taunt the Potions Master, the Gryffindors quickly began to ignore the matter. As the Gryffindors apparently lost interest, so did the rest of the school.

The only remaining thing was the few odd glances every now and then, the tense atmosphere in potions class and Ron's stubborn denial of the truth. Harry seemed to think that Ron had some idea of the kiss being a betrayal of trust from Hermione's side, and refused to listen to sense from neither Harry or Ginny. A few months earlier it would have broken Hermione's heart, but now it only left her with an odd sense of indifference.

_It's his own fault if he wants to ignore me. If he wont believe me, I'm better off without him._

Harry and Ginny often tried to get her to talk about her feelings about Professor Snape, but she had stubbornly refused to. She had told herself that the myriad of confused feelings about him were better left alone, and it was easier to just ignore him and everything that reminded her of him. The worried glances behind her back and the recurrent dreams about the Potions Master were also easier to ignore than to deal with, and whenever she caught a professor looking at her in a concerned matter, she forced a smile on her lips and laughed with her friends.

However, in the last couple of days she had begun to doubt her own anger and denial. In the beginning she had been so certain she had been righteous in her fury, but now she suddenly remembered all the things that had attracted her to Severus Snape in the first place. His dark eyes, his velvety voice, his sharp wit and intelligence. The memories of the many nights as his assistant, the way he had comforted her after her suicide attempt, the way he had actually been grateful for her help after he had been injured at the Death Eater meeting, all of their encounters were suddenly swarming her mind. The more she thought, the more she started to regret her rash reactions, and she had decided that before she left she would apologize properly to him. His reaction remained to be seen, and she could only hope that neither of them would loose their temper. The Ball seemed an opportune moment to go through with this, and she had awaited the day impatiently.

The results of their exams had been revealed the day prior to the Ball, and Hermione had, of course, done well in all of them. She hadn't expected the results to be otherwise, but it was still a relief. Also her friends had done well, with a few exceptions, but none had failed completely. Just about every one was looking forward to the ball and graduation, yet at the same time feeling very sad about leaving. Crying 7th years had not been an uncommon sight in the last couple of days before the ball.

Hermione put on her shoes and took a last look in the mirror. Her dress was a deep red color, her normally bushy hair had been straightened out and her make-up was discreet, yet accentuating her features. Smiling slightly to herself, Hermione closed the door behind her to join Harry and Ginny at the marble staircase.

* * *

Scowling at every one around him, Severus was standing in a corner of the Great Hall.

_Why do I have to be here _every_ year?_

As usual, he had tried to convince the Headmaster that it was not necessary for him to attend the Graduation Ball, and, as usual, the Headmaster had insisted that it was. The reason for his dislike was obviously the moronic behavior of the students, but this year he also had a different reason.

Hermione Granger.

Ever since the inquiry it seemed like she had been avoiding she had avoided him. He had several times tried to catch her eye, tried to say something, but every time they were in close proximity of each other, she would refuse to look at him and get away as quickly as possible. And even if he had succeeded in getting her attention, he wasn't too sure he knew what he would have said to her.

_What am I supposed to say, when I can't even figure out why it affects me so much that she is angry at me? Why the solitude I used to prefer now seems empty, lonely? Why I am plagued by nightmares even more disturbing than the ones I usually have, the ones related to my past?_

Looking at the students roaming the hall, Severus told himself that he was not looking for Hermione. Despite that, he felt disappointed when she was nowhere to be seen. Scowling even more deeply, he turned his gaze to High Table, where many of the other professors sat, talking amicably to each other. Others were already on the dance floor, either dancing with colleagues or students.

_Thankfully, no one has been foolish enough to think I would be interested in such a thing. Why would I want to dance with these dunderheads? They have no talent for potions, why should they have any for dancing?._

The loud music and talk in the hall was beginning to give him a head ache, and he was contemplating how soon he would be able to excuse himself, when his breath suddenly caught in his throat. Standing next to the double doors, talking to Potter and that Weasley girl, stood Hermione.

_She is beautiful._

Her dress looked spectacular on her, bringing out every curve of her body and flowing gracefully to the floor. Her hair was smooth and shining, nothing like the usual bushiness, and the sight of her smiling for the first time in a long time made his heart pound loudly in his chest. The instant he realized the direction his thoughts were taking, he mentally scolded himself.

_Get a grip, man! She hates you, what good will it do to obsess about her??_

Deepening his scowl, he pulled himself further into the shadows and silently hoped that she wouldn't see him. At first his attempts were successful, but then she suddenly caught sight of him. Freezing in her steps, her smile slid from her face, and he expected the anger to appear, as it always did when she looked at him. Instead a sadness filled her eyes for a second, before she forced herself to look away and followed her friends to a group of Gryffindors chatting merrily in the middle of the room.

Severus frowned. Her reaction had not been what he thought it would be, and it added several new questions to his already confused mind.

_What was that about? Has she.. forgiven me, for what ever it was she was angry about?_

Their eyes met again and this time a tentatives smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, as Severus stared at her. His puzzlement was complete when she suddenly started to move toward him. A quick look around him assured him that no one else was standing next to him; she was really headed toward him. As she drew nearer he let a small smile slip over his lips, and Hermione's smile deepened at the sight of it.

A sudden, burning pain shot through his left forearm and he doubled over. The searing pain was unbearable, and a strangled cry escaped his lips. The noise from the happy students drowned his voice, and he fell to the floor, hidden in the shadows. The pain grew as he struggled to get to his feet, but a new shot of pain forced him to his knees again. His conscience was rapidly slipping away from him, when he dimly heard a slightly hysteric voice through his pain: "Help him! Somebody help him!". A small pair of hands grabbed his shoulders as he slipped into darkness, and he knew no more.

* * *

"Somebody help him!".

Hermione stared wildly around her as she held on to the unconscious Potions Master, holding him to her chest, trying to stabilize him as a sudden tremor racked his body. The chatter of the students had died away, and everybody was staring at the girl clutching her Professor as the tears ran down her cheeks. A second of complete silence stretched out, broken as Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall and Sprout pushed their way through the crowd.

"He needs the Hospital Wing –Minerva, hurry ahead and warn Poppy.", Dumbledore said as he looked at the unconscious man. Lowering his voice he gently whispered: "Hermione, you need to let go of him. We cannot help him if you do not let him go.". Realizing that she had been holding Snape so tightly that no one would be able to wrestle him from her grip, Hermione slowly lowered him to the floor. Dumbledore conjured a stretcher and levitated Snape out of the hall, Hermione hurrying along behind him and Professor Sprout.

_He's going to die -I'll loose him forever, how could I ever be so stupid?? I'm such an idiot, and now he'll be gone forever, please don't-_

Her thoughts were frantic as she hurried along behind the Headmaster. A couple of handsgrabbed her arms as she suddenly stumbled, blinded by her tears, and she realized that Harry and Ginny had followed her. They soon reached the corridor of the Infirmary, where Madam Pomfrey was standing outside the doors, rushing forward as she saw them.

"Headmaster, what happened?!", she exclaimed, holding the doors open so the stretcher could soar into the room.

"I am afraid Voldemort has decided to punish him, I believe he is somehow using the Dark Mark. Ms. Granger, did you see Professor Snape holding his arm, or otherwise indicating what was happening?", Dumbledore asked as Madam Pomfrey placed Snape on a nearby bed. Before Hermione had a chance to answer, Madam Pomfrey turned around and said: "Why are-"

Dumbledore cut her off in mid-sentence and said: "They are allowed to stay for the moment, Poppy, I will explain later. Ms. Granger, did you see him hold his arm?". Nodding slowly, she choked out through her tears: "Y-yes -he was clutching it, trying to get to his feet, but he- he couldn't-".

A sudden yell startled them all, and Hermione spun around to face the bed. Severus' eyes had flown open and he was gripping the sides of the bed so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Headmaster –it's him!". His voice was desperate, almost hysteric, and his eyes gleamed wildly in the harsh light of the Infirmary. "-He will attack tomorrow, we- the graduation –noon, too many to defend – they will kill her –". A violent spasm broke him off, and his eyes rolled back in his head as the tremor increased. Madam Pomfrey started forward, then stopped as his eyes opened again, and fell on Hermione.

"Please.. I cannot lose-". A new spasm interrupted, this time more violent, and a strangled sob escaped Hermione as Madam Pomfrey firmly took hold of his jaw and poured a potion into his mouth. A couple of breathless seconds later the tremors ceased, making Severus slump back against the pillows.

"No..", she brokenly murmured, taking a step backwards, gasping for air. Blindly grabbing hold of a chair next to a bed, she closed her eyes, trying to make her head stop spinning.

_Oh no.. Please don't.. don't die, I will never forgive myself –please.._

A hesitant hand fell on her shoulder, and she looked up into the concerned face of Ginny. "Hermione.. Maybe we should go...".

"No. I will not leave.". She said, her voice surprisingly strong. Taking a deep breath to override the panic, she forced her eyes open. The Headmaster and the medi-witch were leaning over the bed, Madam Pomfrey examining the Potions Master closely. Taking a tentative step forward, she was able to hear their words.

"...right, the Mark seems to be the cause. But I cannot see how! It is almost as if it is somehow.. poisoned, spreading something. It is a slow process, but if we have not stopped it in three hours or so.. it will be too late.", the medi-witch mumbled. The Headmaster nodded, frowned and said: "We might be able to cure it.". "How?". Madam Pomfrey's voice was skeptic, and Hermione's heart gave a little twinge.

_If a medi-witch doubts the possibility of a cure.._

"I know the chances are not too great, but it is not completely unlikely that we could be able to find a potion or an incantation.", he said as he glanced over his shoulder, giving Hermione a concerned look. "Other than that.. There is nothing. We just have to hope..". Madam Pomfrey nodded and hurried into her office, shortly after returning with several bottles and beakers of potions, and set about the attempts to find a cure.

An awkward cough behind her startled Hermione, and she turned around to see Harry taking a deep breath before saying: "Professor Dumbledore.. What about.. What about the attack Sn- Professor Snape mentioned? Shouldn't we.. cancel graduation, or something?".

Hermione froze. She had been so concerned for Severus' well-being, that the possibility of an attack hadn't properly registered with her. As she suddenly realized the implications of his words, the panic she had fought so hard to suppress resurfaced, making her mind spin out of control with half-formed images of all the horrible things this could mean.

_What if we aren't well enough prepared? How are we ever going to defend Hogwarts, we have less than twenty-four hours!_

"We will prepare as best we can, Harry, but we cannot let anyone know that anything is wrong. It will give us an advantage to know in advance.", Dumbledore said, his expression more somber than ever.

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Dumbledore held up his hand to cut him off. "Harry, our chances will be better this way. The wards on this school should hold them back long enough for us to evacuate the necessary people, and if we do anything prior to tomorrow, Voldemort will hear about it and change his plans. This is the only way we have a chance.". Sighing deeply, he continued: "Now, I think you ought to go to your dormitories. I am afraid it would be a bad idea to return to the ball, too many will have questions for you.".

"No..Please.. Let me stay, sir.", Hermione pleaded, the tears returning to her eyes.

_I need to be here when.. If he wakes..._

"I am sorry, Ms. Granger, but I cannot allow you to do that. You will all need as much strength as possible for tomorrow.". A flicker in Dumbledore's eyes told her that he very well knew they would not be able to rest, and he took a step closer to her. Placing his hand gently on her shoulder, he added: "I will make sure to let you know as soon as he wakes up, Hermione.".

Silently pleading with her eyes, Hermione looked up into his old face. His expression was one of sincere concern and understanding, but he obviously would not give in and let her stay. Closing her eyes briefly, she took a deep breath and turned around, walking out of the Hospital Wing with Harry and Ginny hurrying after her.

* * *

She was smiling.

The soft hair was gently swirling around her head, as if an invisible breeze was playing with it, and she was smiling beautifully. Smiling at him.

A soft light was surrounding her, soft but strong, and the resemblance to an angel was remarkable.

He suddenly realized that she was slowly fading away, and he jumped forward to catch her, hold on to her, but it was too late. She was gone.

The darkness rushed back from the place she had stood, roaring toward him to attack him, enclose and slowly suffocate him. He tried to move, but he couldn't. Closing his eyes, he fought against the panic threatening to overwhelm him.

---

"No, that didn't work. Albus, I am beginning to think that the potions we have here a too weak, they only work for about ten minutes at a time."

The voice was coming from somewhere far away, and Severus only dimly heard the answer.

"Perhaps he has something in his private stores.. I will go look."

---

Something soft was lying next to him. Small and warm, and most off all soft. Opening his eyes, he saw that it was her.

He smiled.

She slowly stirred, and opened her eyes to gaze up at him. As her eyes reached his own, the smile on his face was returned, and her delicate hands slid around his neck.

Suddenly she froze. Something behind him had caught her eye, and the fear on her face made his eyes stop.

He tried to turn around and look, but something hid him in the back before he could.

The darkness returned.

---

"Hmm.. It is slow, but maybe.. No. It did not work either. Albus, what now?".

The same voice, this time with a slight edge of panic.

"What about this? It is very strong, it might be able to..?".

"Well, perhaps.. Perhaps.". 

---

She was no longer smiling.

Her eyes were sad, melancholic. He tried to say something, something that would assure her and make her happiness return.

But no words came out of his mouth.

Again she started to fade away, and he could only watch.

Darkness.

Complete darkness.

A deep feeling of loss spread in him, but he did not know why.

Something had been there. Or someone.

Who was there before?

The darkness was everywhere.

---

"Are you certain that he will not remember?"

"Yes, there is no way he can avoid it. The memories will return, but only slowly."

"I see. Most.. unsuspected. I should inform Ms. Granger. I will return as soon as possible.".

A sound cut into his ears, sounding like a door closing. A small groan escaped his lips.

"Severus? Severus, can you hear me?".

A sharp light hit his eyes when he opened them, and he cursed at it. Someone was talking to him, but he couldn't completely distinguish the words, the sharpness of the light had taking away his focus for a moment. Straining his ears, he listened: "...nearly gone, we were quite worried, Severus. Albus has gone to.. Well, that can wait.".

The voice belonged to Madam Pomfrey, and he hesitantly cracked an eye open, confused at her words.

"Where..", he tried to say, but his voice was very hoarse, as is from misuse. Clearing his throat, he started again: "Where am I?". She smiled at him and said: "The Hospital Wing. There was an.. incident, but I think Albus should tell you exactly what. Rest now, he will return shortly.".

He nodded and closed his eyes again. His entire body felt like he had been run over by a herd of Hippogriffs, and he was thankful that the medi-witch hadn't forced him to take some potion.

He drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Harry and Ginny had taken her to her room.

She had insisted that they leave her, telling them that she really needed to be alone with her thoughts to try and straighten them out. It had taken her a good ten minutes to convince them that she wouldn't rush right back to the Hospital Wing, and she had finally had to swear to them that she would refrain from doing so.

An hour later she had regretted that promise.

She really had wanted to think through everything, but she just couldn't keep her mind away from worrying about Severus instead. There was nothing she wanted more than to see what was happening.

Instead, she had went to the place she always went when she had no idea what else to do. The library.

_This way, I can at least prepare for tomorrow. Prepare for the battle._

Sitting in the library, however, she had difficulty focusing. The emotional pressure had exhausted her, and she felt drained, empty. Resting her head on the book she reading, she closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

_Just a quick rest..._

"Ms. Granger?". A voice suddenly sounded somewhere next to her, and Hermione jumped, accidentally knocking a book to the floor. Looking up, she saw Dumbledore standing in front of her, still looking as somber as he did earlier, but also showing relief on his face. "Yes?", she said, her voice somewhat rough from crying. Her heart rate slowly increased as she stared expectantly at him.

Smiling gently he said: "I thought you might want to know, that Severus has woken up.".

_What..?_

It took a second before his words got through to her, but suddenly she realized what it was he had said –Severus was awake, _alive-_

Jumping to her feet she breathed: "Thank you!", hurried past the Headmaster, sprinting down the hallway and only barely hearing his exclamation: "Wait, Ms. Granger-". Skidding to a halt in front of the Infirmary, Hermione took a deep breath to gather herself and then pushed the doors open, still very breathless.

In a bed at the far end of the room, the Potions Master was lying motionless, his eyes closed. Staring at him, Hermione suddenly didn't know what to do or say. After a hesitant moment, she slowly started walking toward him. As she drew nearer, he suddenly opened his eyes and looked at her.

"I- I'm sorry, Severus, I..", she started, stopping as he frowned, the usual look of indifference on his face. "Ms. Granger, what are you talking about? Why are you here?". His tone of voice was cold, filled with the coldness he usually used in his lessons. Tears started filling her eyes.

_What –why.._

"Ms. Granger..". Dumbledore was standing behind her, sadness apparent in his expression. "There is something you need to know. The curse, or what ever it was Voldemort did to him, has affected him in a way we did not anticipate. He.. He suffers from amnesia, and cannot recall anything from the past six months.".

"Six.. six months?". She stared incredulously at the Headmaster.

_He.. he doesn't know.. He doesn't remember the fight, the kiss, everything –everything we shared, our conversations, all that time in each others company, when we actually felt _comfortable_! How can this be?_

Slowly, Hermione turned around to look at Severus. He was staring at her, a flicker of confusion passing his features and then being replaced with a scowl. Just a month ago, she would have ignored it, knowing it was only a facade. But now.. Now it broke her heart. Taking a step backwards, she spun around and hurried from the room, tears running down her cheeks and cursing herself for believing that everything would be resolved that easily.


	9. Graduation day

A/n: _sweetytweety013, Drunken Landlord: _Thanks, and I'll update as soon as I can :)

_Vickie211: _I'm really glad to hear that you like it. Thanks.

_Minerva7: _Thanks.. It really is terrible for her.

I'd just like to say thanks to my friend, Kristina, who helped me over my writer's block at the end of the chapter.

If you have constructive criticism, questions or just a comment, I would very much like to hear from you. So please, _please_ review!

Disclaimer: Everything except the plot still belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –9**

_Why do bad things always happen to me?_

The air in the Astronomy Tower was mild and tepid, just perfect for sitting with your back leaning against the wall, deep in thoughts. The moon was shining down upon the darkened world, beautiful in its simplicity.

For the past two hours, Hermione had been sitting there, staring into the air. After she had run out of the Hospital Wing, she had headed toward the tower without giving it much thought, simply needing to be somewhere quiet and peaceful. Barging through the door, she had been rather shocked to find herself in that place, the place that should have been connected with memories of pain and hopelessness, of loneliness and despair.

But as she stood there in the doorway, the memories that came back to her was not the ones of her nearly committing suicide, not the ones of fighting with her friends, not the ones of feeling like someone unworthy of love and happiness.

It was the memories of the days of being Severus' assistant. Of the rediscovered friendships with Harry and Ginny. Of the night Severus had told her he loved her.

_And now I'm the only one who remember.._

"Memory. Such an obscure and indefinable conception.", she softly mumbled to herself.

The many recollections had made tears roll down her cheeks, but no longer from despair. It had been from sadness, a sadness about losing something that had really mattered to her, something that she had so unwisely cast aside because of a simple misunderstanding. It took a long time for the tears to cease, but when they did, she no longer felt the need to cry.

_I have cried too many times lately. It's about time I stop, about time I start fixing my problems instead feeling horrible about them._

It might be easier said than done to figure out what to do. Especially about Severus. The entire situation was extremely complicated as it were, and the amnesia did nothing to complicate it less. Even if he regained some of his memories, there was no guarantee he would remember anything about her, not in the way she wanted. And if he did, he might not want anything to do with her. There was nothing she could do about it. A determination that had been buried deep within her for far too long had resurfaced, and she would be damned if she let her speculations about the Potions Master depress her again.

Her quarrels with Ron were easier to understand, but no less difficult to sort out. All she could do was to attempt to speak with him, and hope he would listen. If he didn't want to, or still wouldn't forgive her, she would just accept it. His stubbornness was unbridled, and if he refused to believe her, she could say nothing to persuade him otherwise.

She did not know how things were between Harry and Ron. She had been too caught up in her own problems to think much about it, but now that she speculated about it, she really had not seen them speak to each other in the previous month. She assumed that it was most likely because of her, and suddenly felt sorry for Harry. As much as she had needed a friend, it was unfair that he had probably had to give up his own friendship with Ron to be loyal to her. Both he and Ginny really had been remarkable friends, and she was very grateful to them. They had listened to her without complaint, despite the fact that she probably hadn't always made much sense and never once thanked them. Resolving to speak to them about it later, she sighed and turned her head toward the sky, gazing at the moon.

A small dot of something was flying past the moon, and then growing as it came closer to the Tower. Frowning, she kept her eyes on what ever it was. When it was a few feet away from the Tower, she recognized it as a falcon and watched it as it landed on the railing next to her.

It was a large, beautiful bird. It was a startling white, with little black specks on its back. Hermione had seen many pictures of falcons when she was younger and new a little about the birds, but she had never seen one as beautiful as this one, and did not know exactly which kind of falcon it was.

For a few minutes it steadily regarded her. She did not move, did not dare to. She had always liked falcons, and now that she was watching one so closely, she did not want to startle it so it flew away and took its beauty with it. After another couple of minutes, she slowly stretched out a hand. Regarding her hand warily, the falcon remained where it was. Her fingertips slowly brushed the beautiful feathers. At the exact same moment the door slammed open, the falcon shrieked and took off and Hermione sprang to her feet, cursing.

"Hermione! We've been so worried, where have you been?", Harry breathed, gasping for air as he leaned against the door frame. Seeing her obvious annoyance, he straightened slightly, quietly asking: "Are you alright?".

Sighing, Hermione schooled her features into apologetic expression and said: "Yes, you just scared me. Have you been looking for me?". He nodded as he walked over to her. With a sad smile, he said: "Dumbledore told us about Snape, about his amnesia. When you were nowhere to be found, we started worrying that.. that something had happened.".

_Of course.. I should have thought about that, of course they would be worried._

"I'm alright, I just.. needed to be alone, I guess.". She sat back down again and gestured to a spot next to her. "Want to have a seat?".

Harry chuckled and sat next to her. For a while they simply sat there, Hermione looking at the moon and Harry studying the stone floor. Awkwardly clearing his throat, Harry broke the silence and inquired: "Hermione.. Why did you go here? I mean, the last time..". His voice trailed away.

"I didn't come here to attempt suicide, if that is what you're asking..", she said, "I just needed the calm. It really is quite a beautiful night, isn't it?". He nodded, seemingly lost in thought. Another silence. "Harry?". He looked at her. "There's something I want to ask you.. You know, before the fight..".

He looked at her expectantly.

"When you heard about my feelings for Severus.. You never said anything. Not that I mind, but I would have expected some kind of reaction from you, the only time you mentioned it was after I had that fight with him. I mean, given your past, I would have thought you would have objected or something.".

He frowned a bit before answering: "At first, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt you, and because I honestly didn't know what to say. I was really confused, and I thought it was better if I just kept quiet instead of saying something I'd later regret.". He paused for a moment. "But later on... As I told you that night, I really don't think he would hurt you on purpose, and he _is_ an honorable man. I want you to be happy, and even if that means that you're with the greasy-haired git-", Hermione involuntarily smiled, "-I'm not going to object to something that makes you happy. I love you, you're one of my best friends; almost like a sister to me.".

Smiling at him, Hermione pulled him into her arms and whispered: "Thank you, Harry. I'm really thankful for all the help and support you've given me lately..". He hugged her tighter, and whispered back: "I've already told you, I'll never turn my back on you again.".

Pulling out of the embrace again, Hermione cleared her throat, and said: "So, enough about my horrible love life... What's up with you and Ginny?".

Harry blushed furiously, and looked away, a slightly foolish grin on his face. "Not much, but.. I really like her, and maybe.. I hope something is going to happen. That is, if we make it through tomorrow...". The grin faltered, and he looked at her, his eyes serious. "We're really in deep shit, Hermione.".

"I know. It's going to be difficult to get everyone who's not able to fight evacuated, and we don't know how many they are.. We're not all going to make through tomorrow. Some of us are going to die.". Hermione stared ahead of her. The thought of actually _dying_ had only just appeared in her mind, and she shook her head slightly to rid herself of it.

_It's no good thinking like that.._

A sad smile graced her lips as she said: "But let's not think about that right now. We will fight as best we can, and there's nothing else we can can do.". Sighing deeply, she added: "We better go find the others, they are probably really worried.".

They got to their feet and walked down the stairs. At the bottom stood Dumbledore, and before they could say anything, he looked at Hermione somberly and said: "Ms. Granger, I am glad you are alright. Now, I need to speak with you, the both of you. Would you please go to my office and wait for me? I will be there in half an hour. The password is Sugar Quills.". He turned around and walked down the hall. Harry and Hermione shot each other a slightly confused look before starting toward the Headmaster's office.

* * *

"No, Albus, I do _not_ remember! I have already told you that three times.", Severus sneered. "And why would I want that insufferable girl as my assistant, anyway?".

Albus Dumbledore looked at him with a sad twinkle, and Severus felt even more annoyed. During the past ten minutes, the Headmaster had been asking him different questions about the prior six months, in the hopes of Severus regaining some of his memories before the impending fight. Dumbledore insisted on only telling him the general picture of the lost time, and it was extremely aggravating for Severus to have to search his mind for all the details that were hidden in his hazy and unclear mind. He also had the distinct impression that the Headmaster was trying to make him remember a particular thing, and it didn't seem like it was much of an success.

A couple of times he had flashes of memories, that lasted long enough to make him wonder what it was, but gone too quickly for him to examine exactly what it meant. This did nothing to improve his already bad mood, and the current questions didn't help either.

_Why on earth did I accept to let that Know-it-all be my assistant?? I must have been insane.._

The sad twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes slowly faded, and his voice was very quiet and serious when he spoke: "Severus.. I know it must be exasperating for you to remember nothing. But if you cannot remember, I am afraid that you cannot participate in a fight tomorrow, should an attack be carried out."

"What??". Severus nearly jumped out of the bed.

_NO, I will _not_ sit by and watch as the Dark Lord attacks Hogwarts!_

"Albus, the Dark Lord already knows that I am a spy, and he will attempt to kill me whether I participate in this fight or not, why-"

The Headmaster held up his hand and gave Severus a piercing look. "You are still very weak, too weak to fight; and your participation may have not-so-desirable effects on some persons, especially if you are injured or killed.".

"What are you talking-", Severus spat, again interrupted by the Headmaster: "I cannot explain this to you, you must retrieve certain memories on your own. And you will not participate, Severus. It would be suicide!", Dumbledore exclaimed, a sudden anger appearing in his eyes before he continued, quietly: "I will not allow you to commit suicide.".

Raising from his chair, Albus Dumbledore gave Severus a last powerful look before striding out of the Hospital Wing.

_What the hell..?_

At the same moment, Madam Pomfrey bustled into the room. Forcing several potions down his throat, she began to fuzz about. The annoyance of his amnesia, the odd conversation he had just had with the Headmaster, the memory flashes that confusingly popped into his head every now and again and the ban from fighting, all made him feel a small headache beginning to develop. With the medi-witch's bothersome attention on top of it, Severus soon felt an incredible urge to run screaming from the room.

Stifling the urge, he successfully pushed his emotions away, and accepted the goblet of Dreamless Sleep Potion handed to him by Madam Pomfrey, gulped it down and settled back against his pillows.

_If I am stuck here feeling completely insufficient, I might as well sleep through the worst of it._

As he closed his eyes, an image of Hermione Granger suddenly appeared in front of his mind's eye, and along with that, the encounter earlier that had ended in her running crying from the room. It had left him completely confused, he simply couldn't figure out what was the matter with the girl.

_Typical Gryffindor.._

But as the deep slumber started pulling at him, another image appeared; an image of that particular Gryffindor standing in a glorious light and smiling at him. His mind, half asleep, tried to hold on to it, but to no avail.

* * *

"Ms. Granger, I am afraid I have neglected to speak with you about several very important issues. Some are better left alone until after tomorrow, others need deciding as soon as possible.", the Headmaster said, his face serious. Hermione simply nodded, uncertain of where the conversation was headed.

_What is he on about?_

"As you know, you and Harry are in perhaps the greatest danger tomorrow at the attack. I will not tell either of you not to fight; Harry needs a chance to fulfill the prophecy. But, Ms. Granger, I fear very much for your life if you go into direct combat.".

A sound of protest escaped Hermione's lips, but the Headmaster held up his hand to silence her, and continued: "I have no doubt that you will say that you are in as much danger as anyone else, but please consider the offer I am about to make. We need someone to defend your parents, Ms. Granger. –".

"My parents?", Hermione interrupted, confused.

"Yes, your parents and everyone else who is unable, or not sufficiently accomplished, to defend themselves magically. We cannot ask anyone to stay at home, we need to pretend nothing is amiss. But we cannot let those without any means of defense stand unprotected. I would like to ask you to be a part of a group who will defend those who are evacuated. You will still be able to defend Hogwarts, but it is my hope that you will not be in direct danger.".

Staring at the Headmaster, a sudden thought appeared in Hermione's mind, and a feeling of anger rose with it.

_He thinks I am too weak.. He thinks that I am emotionally unstable, that I cannot defend myself!_

Opening her mouth to make a sharp reply, Hermione was again cut off. Her anger had apparently been evident on her face, because the Headmaster had a knowing glint in his eyes. Leaning forward slightly, he sighed and said: "Ms. Granger, I will be honest with you. I do not believe that you are strong enough to face the Death Eaters, your reaction in the Hospital Wing speaks for itself. I would like to make sure that you are kept as far from the fight as possible.". His tone had an air of finality, and Hermione wearily sighed, forcing the anger away.

_It seems I have no say in this matter.. Might as well give in._

"I see. If you will excuse me, I would like to get some rest. Good night.".

Rigidly answering the smile on the Headmaster's face, Hermione walked out of the office. Harry was waiting outside, at the Headmaster's request, and gave her a small smile before he entered the office. It took no more than five minutes for them to finish, and soon Harry and Hermione were heading for their dormitories. Hermione was still angry about the Headmaster's interference with her opportunity to fight, and furiously told Harry about it.

"As if I can't defend myself..", she mumbled as they walked down a staircase. Harry said nothing, seemingly lost in thought. Still muttering to herself, Hermione barely noticed that they had reached the Fat Lady's portrait. As they stepped through the hole into the virtually empty common room, Harry suddenly stopped and stared ahead of him, making Hermione whisper: "What is it?".

He gestured toward the chairs in front of the fire and mumbled: "I don't know if you want to talk with him or not, but.. Here's your chance.". Looking toward the chairs, Hermione realized that Ron was fast asleep in one of them. Harry sent her an encouraging smile before he sneaked past the sleeping figure and dashed up the stairs.

Hermione strode over to the chairs and sat down silently in one of them, softly saying: "Hello, Ron.". Ron jerked awake and looked around wildly for a couple of seconds before seeing her. At the sight of her he froze, and taking advantage of the moment, Hermione said: "Have you been told about the attack?".

Frowning at her in confusion, he said: "Yes. I-". He cut himself off, apparently remembering that he didn't want to talk to her. Sighing, Hermione said: "Look, Ron, I know you have no desire to speak with me right now, but do me the favor of at least hearing me out. Tomorrow at this time we might all be dead.".

He said nothing, simply remained in the same position. Taking it as assent, Hermione continued: "I don't know exactly why you are so angry at me, and frankly, I don't really care right now. With everything that has happened tonight I don't want to concern myself with until all of this is over, and I don't expect you to do so either. But I wanted you to know this, I want to sort this out. We have been friends for nearly seven years, and I will not allow our friendship to be ruined if I don't even know why. Think about it. Goodnight.". Without waiting for a reply, Hermione rose from the chair and walked back to her room.

_I feel like I'm sentenced to die and straightening everything in my life out._

Closing the door behind her and starting to get ready for a couple of probably sleepless hours in bed, a mental image of Severus scowling at her in the Hospital Wing appeared in her mind.

_Well, maybe not everything.._

* * *

Pacing his room, Severus angrily mumbled to himself. It had been exactly two and a half hour since Madam Pomfrey had released him from the Hospital Wing, after making him promise that he would go straight to bed the instant he got to his room and get a bit of sleep. She had told him that he was still terribly weak, and that despite his remarkable progress since he had woken up, he would still need plenty of rest.

To his defense, Severus _had_ actually attempted to get some sleep as he returned to his room. He had flung himself on the bed and firmly closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep. After doing this for half an hour, not even feeling the slightest bit drowsy, he had been very tempted to just scream with frustration. Forcing himself to be calm, he instead pulled his pillow over his head, thinking a sort of mantra:

_I need as much strength as possible for fighting against Him tomorrow.. As much strength as possible.. As much strength as possible.._

After having repeated it half a dozen times, he suddenly remembered that he had been forbidden to fight.

It had been decided that he could take part in the Graduation the following day, after much scowling and pleading from his side, but Dumbledore still insisted that he stay of the actual fight. Severus was in charge of the evacuation instead. He had been ordered to lead all those moronic brats and dunderheads that were too young to fight to safety, and there was nothing he wanted more than to ignore his orders. The fact that they would probably be killed if he did just that seemed unimportant to him; his own anger was a much more satisfying thought to deal with.

_In charge of evacuation, that is certainly going to make me fee useful! _

The complete confusion that had invaded his mind since he had woken up had worn his patience completely thin, and his frustration was palpable in the air of the room. So many things were aggravating or confusing to him, not least his exposure as a spy. His dangerous game of fooling one of the most powerful dark wizards in the world had been all he had had, and he had no idea how he had been able to cope without. It may be a somewhat morbid thought, but it was none the less the thought that went through Severus' mind. The little everyday details that seemed trivial and insignificant upon experiencing them, were now making his frustration even deeper in their absence from his memory.

Also the mystery of Hermione Granger was, mildly speaking, making him crazy with puzzlement. The Headmaster had told him some things about what had happened to her in the past six months, and the same questions kept turning over in his mind:

_Why did she nearly attempt suicide? Was it only been out of pity I accepted her as my assistant, or did Albus somehow trick me into it? What on earth happened to make her that upset, when she came to the Hospital Wing? However did I put up with her?_

At the last thought, a sudden glimpse of Hermione Granger sitting next to him, laughing at something he had said and himself smiling at her, popped into his head.

_What the hell?? Was that a memory??_

He was staring around him, an eerie feeling that resembled dejá-vu crept up on him, and he shuddered involuntarily. It wasn't that the memory in itself was uncomfortable, in fact, it brought a cozy and relaxed feeling with it, but the abruptness of with it had come to his mind had startled him. He had always been very much in control of his thoughts; the few times he hadn't had resulted in chaos or misery; and he was dead scared of losing that control. Sternly telling himself that he was being foolish, he sank onto the bed, and once again tried to fall asleep. After twisting and turning for what seemed like hours, he finally fell into a restless slumber filled with disturbing dreams of half-remembered situations.

* * *

A sharp knock at her door jerked Hermione awake. Fumbling in the dark for her wand she sat up straight, staring at the door as a burst of panic making her wide-awake. She murmured a charm to light up the room.

_Has it begun already??_

Another knock, this time accompanied by a voice softened by the door: "It's me, Harry. Wake up, Hermione!".

Sighing in relief, Hermione slipped out of bed, shivering as the relatively cool air of the room hit her tired body and hurriedly opened the door. Harry slipped into the room, giving her a faint smile. "Sorry to wake you in the middle of the night, but I just needed to speak with you. I don't think we'll have a chance to do so tomorrow.".

Hermione mumbled: "Alright, have a seat.". They both sat on her bed, and Harry took a deep breath as if to gather courage to say something unpleasant while Hermione looked warily at him. "Hermione, as you know, we will be going into battle tomorrow. I know you will be protecting the evacuated, and are therefore most likely out of harm's way.". He paused slightly as she snorted in annoyance, and then continued in a less formal tone: "I know that you disagree with Dumbledore, but I really think it's a good idea. And there's something I'd like to ask you, something that could help me if I'm caught by Voldemort.".

Hermione frowned at him, confused at his words. "Why would you get caught, Harry? I mean, there's a risk of them killing you, but why would they capture you?".

He smiled sadly at her, saying in a soft voice: "Because Voldemort's a psychopath, Hermione. He wants to make you all worry, and have his fun of torturing me before he kills me. Dumbledore told me that he thinks they'll attempt to take me hostage, instead of just killing me. I don't know why he thinks so, but that is what he thinks. _If_ that happens, Hermione.. I'd like you to have this, to make sure it's seen by the right people and such.". From his pocket Harry drew an envelope. Frowning, Hermione took it, her heart missing a beat when she saw what was written on the outside:

"_Last Will and Testament of Harry James Potter."._

"Harry –you can't be serious!". A slight edge of hysteria to her voice, Hermione had an odd urge to burst into laughter. Harry's sad smile remained on his face as he said: "I know everybody thinks I'm going to defeat Voldemort and everything, but just in case.. In case I can't do it, in case I'm not ready. I want to make sure that everything is sorted out, and I know I can trust you to keep this safe."

Hermione stared at him in shock. Harry Potter – The-Boy-Who-Lived – was sitting in front of her, saying that he was preparing to be dead within twenty-four hours. Not only was this a completely horrific thing for the world, but it was terrible to hear it from her friend, someone she _loved_ like the brother she'd never had.

_No, Harry.. Don't.. If you give up now.._

"Harry.. You can't mean this..". Her voice trembled, and it was only by sheer will-power it didn't break. Harry shook his head and took her hand. "I don't think it is going to end that bad, Hermione, I just want to be on the safe side, you know..".

Suddenly Hermione remembered the way she had felt after her talk with Ron earlier, and she realized that this was in some way the same thing fro Harry. Giving him a sad smile in return, she said: "I think I understand.".

After pulling her into a brief hug, Harry rose from the bed and walked toward the door. Just as he was about to close it, another thought occurred to Hermione, and she jumped up, calling after him: "Wait –Harry!". He turned around and Hermione jumped to her feet. "Harry –what if you really are caught? Did Dumbledore say anything about who would try and rescue you?", she asked, frowning slightly. "Did he say anything about how they'd find you?".

"Well, no, he didn't say anything. I expect someone from the order will try to find me, but I don't know..". His voice trailed away uncertainly. Her suspicion confirmed, Hermione hurried over to her dresser and pulled open a drawer to retrieve a small, silver chain. Pointing her wand at it, she mumbled a spell.

Hermione gave it to Harry, who simply stared at her. "What.. What did you do?", he mumbled after a couple of seconds. Smiling slightly, Hermione said: "I charmed it so that I can track you down. That way, at least_ I_ will have a chance of finding you.".

"Hermione –no, you can't, you can't try to help me on your own-", Harry protested, his eyes pleading. Hermione shook her head, determined not to be discouraged. "I wont go after you alone, of course not. But I can't just sit back and wait for them to track you down, I'd never be able to live with myself, Harry.". Taking his hand in her own, Hermione stepped closer to him. "Please, Harry. I'm not going to be able to take part in the fight tomorrow, let me at least do this.".

Though still looking apprehensive, Harry nodded. "OK..", he mumbled. After shooting her a last worried glance, Harry closed the door behind him.

* * *

The deep blue color of the night sky had faded slightly on the horizon, indicating the beginning of a new day. Slowly, the color grew lighter and soon the first rays of sunlight crept over the grounds as the students and teachers in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry awoke to a new day. For the students below their 7th year, this was a day of leisure, the last day before they would leave with the Hogwarts Express to spend the summer at home. For the 7th year students, it was the day of their graduation, probably the last time they would spend at Hogwarts. For the teachers it was a day of sending yet a new group of students into the world, sending them to the next chapter of their lives.

Few of them knew that this would also turn out to be a day written about in books. A day of battle.

Severus Snape was one of those who knew, and he was watching the slow beginning of the day from a window in the Headmaster's office. A meeting had been called for all the teachers, and Severus had been asked to come the Headmaster's office before this meeting. He did not know the reason why, and as he waited for the Headmaster, he allowed himself to relax for a moment. To just watch the world without having to calculate everything he did, or speculate the consequences of certain actions.

_The quiet before the storm._

An ironic smile grazed his features as he heard the door open behind him, and he turned to watch the Headmaster sit down behind his desk; looking as though he had not had any more sleep than Severus that night.

"Severus, I just have a few things to tell you., just to make sure everything is clear.", the Headmaster said. "As the leader of the evacuation, it will also be your responsibility to set up the wards protecting the evacuees. I have arranged for a few of the older students to be present to help with the protection. You should know, Severus, that you are probably the last barricade.".

Severus nodded, already aware of these things. The Headmaster regarded him for a couple of seconds, beginning to get annoyed as the old man said nothing more, and as he opened his mouth to ask whether that was all, the Headmaster said: "Have you regained any of memories?".

_Other than a few glimpses, a few confusing emotions? A few minor details of certain situations that seem completely out of context? What is the meaning of this, Albus, you know I have not regained enough to make a difference._

"Very little, Albus. Nothing in particular, just a few vague details and such. I see glimpses every now and then.".

The Headmaster nodded, and rose from his chair. "Well, we should be getting to the meeting.". Gesturing for Severus' to follow him, Albus Dumbledore left his office, Severus following him while he pondered the actual reason for the conversation he had just had with the Headmaster.

* * *

The Great Hall was filled with people. Teachers smiling at the many young people leaving the walls of the castle, students and parents hugging each other and just about every one wearing the same expressions of mixed sadness and joy.

Hermione walked into the bustle of people, followed by Harry. They had spent the morning together, first in the common room, and then in Hermione's room as the other students had started crowding the cozy sofas and chatted merrily. Ginny had been with them until they headed toward the Great Hall.

Ron was with them, too. As the first rays of morning light had started pouring through the windows and stretching across the floor of the common room, he had come down the stairs, looking as disheveled as if he had tossed and turned all night. Without a word, he had walked toward them, knelt down in front of Hermione and took her hand. Looking into his eyes, Hermione had seen the sincerity as tears started gathering in the corners of his eyes, and he had taking a deep breath before whispering: "I'm sorry, Hermione. I really am.". She had smiled and pulled him into a hug, not a single word needed.

Spotting her parents, Hermione hurried toward them and hugged them fiercely. Her mother mumbled: "I'm glad to see you, darling.. Are you alright?". Taking a deep breath, Hermione forced a brave smile on her face: "Of course, mum. Just happy to see you, that's all.".

_They mustn't know, not yet.. We have to pretend like everything's alright..._

Even though they didn't know for certain that the attack would come, Hermione had no doubt about it. Though she didn't understand what had happened when Severus had had the.. premonition, or what ever it had been, she couldn't help but expect the attack at any moment. After all, if the Headmaster believed it would happen, it was as good as certain As her eyes nervously scanned the room, they fell on the one person she had been trying to keep out of her mind, the very same person she had not been able to stop speculating about: Severus Snape.

A sharp pang of remorse filled her heart, and she forced herself to look away. A great deal of the time she had spent with her friends earlier that morning had consisted of her mind running wild with speculation, with thoughts of the worst possible outcomes of an attack. Images of her parents lying dead had brought her to the verge of tears, and so had images of her friends being dead. But the worst of it all had been when an image of Severus, dead, floated into her view.

_One thing is losing something I know I have, someone I know love me.. But to lose him, to have no idea whether we could ever have been together, had it not been for the circumstances, is too horrible._

The thought had scared her. That she feared for the lives of her friends and family was understandable, but that she feared for _his_ life more than anything else opened up frightening possibilities and prospects. The idea of death seemed nearer than ever before, and it suddenly seemed impossible that she had actually been very close to death just few months earlier, and by her own choice.

Suddenly, Hermione noticed her mother looking at her with a concerned expression. Forcing her features to relax, she smiled and pretended not to notice. As everybody started to settle down, Hermione looked around the Great Hall again. As if drawn by a magnet, her gaze returned to Severus. He was standing just to the left of the other teachers, looking his usual, bored self. Suddenly, he lifted his eyes and looked straight at her.

There was nothing she could do to prepare herself for the tidal wave of emotions that flowed through her. Though it was no more than a second his eyes rested on her, it brought every thought and emotion back to her, everything she had attempted to push away. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and forced her hands to stop trembling, forced her breathing to remain calm.

_I must not break down now, not now, not right now.. How am I going to fight Death Eaters if I can't even breathe properly? I must remain calm, must stay calm.._

A flurry of swishing robes and chairs scraping across the floor brought her back to reality. Everyone was beginning to settle down, and Hermione took a seat next to her parents, thankful that no one seemed to have noticed her reaction just seconds earlier.

Headmaster Dumbledore rose from his chair in front of the High table. Smiling at the assembled people, he spread out his hands, his voice resounding through the Hall. "Welcome, dear students and parents. Welcome to the Hogwarts Graduation Ceremony! As you know, these brilliant students in front of me have spent the last seven years at this school, learning everything they need to know. I am certain it has been seven years filled with both good times and bad, with both successes and failures, both..".

As the Headmaster began his speech, Hermione felt her attention slipping away. Instead she glanced around the hall again, this time noticing the students. Most of them were looking at the Headmaster, following his speech and looking completely oblivious in Hermione's eyes. Only few seemed to know. Every one of the Weasleys were looking at Dumbledore, but they had the same far-away look in their eyes, obviously because they knew what might happen. Harry was sitting next to them, staring at his hands and frowning.

Hermione's gaze swept the rest of the students, suddenly stopping as they came to the tall, blond figure sitting at the Slytherin end of the Hall. She should have expected it, of course Lucius Malfoy would be at his son's Graduation Ceremony. It still managed to make Hermione's heart jump into her throat.

_So much more convenient to have a Death Eater already on the inside.._

The thought of Death Eaters made her look toward the High table again, this time consciously seeking the Potions Master. He was easy to find, his black robes and intimidating scowl making him stand out clearly against the more or less colorful robes of the other teachers.

For the first time since she had found out about his amnesia, Hermione was struck with the thought of how difficult it must be for him.

_To lose every single notion of what has taken place in ones life in the past half year, it must be terrible.._

As if he could sense her gaze, Severus lifted his eyes again. This time Hermione had steeled herself against the emotions. Holding his gaze, she smiled briefly at him and inclined her head in the smallest of nods. His eyes narrowed, and then he froze.

A surge of emotions, akin to the one of Hermione, passed over his face. His eyes widened, his mouth opening just slightly, and he held her gaze. With a start Hermione realized that the expression on his face was confusion, surprise and _recognition_, that the dam holding back one of his memories had somehow been broken, if only for a second, that he remembered something about her.

Staring into his eyes, into his very _soul,_ Hermione failed to notice the sudden roar of noise and commotion that rose in the Hall so quickly it seemed impossible. Being pushed aside, the contact with Severus' eyes broke and she looked up in frustration and confusion. The sight that met her eyes stopped her heart.

Death Eaters were streaming through the double doors and into the Great Hall. The wards of Hogwarts had been breached, and Hogwarts was under attack.


	10. The battle

A/n: _Innogen:_ Thank you so much, I hope I can continue mastering it.

_Cherdy the Molologist:_ Thanks. I hope you're still sane.

_Lisa aka lord snapes lady:_ Thank you, I liked his reaction as well :) And about the cliffhangers –I can't help it. I _really_ love them, and it was just the right place to break.

_Vickie211:_ Thanks. Yes, this chapter starts from Severus' pov. I'm happy to know you agree with my decisions about cliffhangers and pov, I struggled a lot with the last chapter. To know it turned out okay is really nice.

_Astaildiarfreak:_ Thanks.. I just love my cliffhangers.

_sweetytweety013:_ Thanks.

_Kathryn Black: _Thank you.

_Jessica:_ I don't really want to kill you, so here it is :)

A/n 2: _Ljublima_ is supposed to be Russian and be equivalent to "darling", "honey", etc. Feel free to correct me if it's wrong.

Extra thanks to my music teacher for the Russian and to my friend, Kristina, for her constant support and advice.

Reviews are really great, you have no idea how happy and inspired they make me. So if you have constructive criticism, questions or just a comment, I would very much like to hear from you.

And a bit of shameless promotion: If you'd like to read an alternative, fluffy version of the Graduation Ball in chapter 8, I've put up a short story called "Lady in red".

Disclaimer: You can probably recite it in your sleep by now: J.K. Rowling owns just about everything. The only thing I can claim to be my own is the plot.

**Unexpected feelings –10**

Running into his office, Severus vehemently cursed himself as he placed wards on the room.

_How the _hell_ could I lose control like that?? Staring into her eyes, all those flashes.._

A sickening wave of emotions and halves of memories came crashing over him, overwhelming him as it had just minutes earlier in the Great Hall, minutes before he had realized what was going on and had hurled himself through the door behind the High Table. Clutching the back of a chair to regain his balance, Severus gasped for breath and swore loudly at the nauseating spinning of his head and his faulting vision. Desperately trying not to think of the scene that had returned to his mind as he had looked into the eyes of Hermione Granger, he forced his breathing to become steady.

_I do not have time for this! Get a grip, man!_

Ignoring the bright memories reentering his mind, he stumbled to the fire place and grabbed a pinch of Floo powder. Taking a deep breath to steady his vision, he yelled: "House Common rooms!". Straightening his face into the usual scowl, he sneered at the many surprised students staring at his head suddenly appearing in their fire and said:

"All students are to remain in their Common room. Prefects will make sure no one leaves and will find out if anyone is missing. Report back as soon as possible, and start warding the Common rooms with the strongest spells you know.". No one moved. "Now!", he snarled in the most dangerous tone he had ever used on his students, and everyone he had in sight visibly jumped to do his bidding.

_Why wont these memories just leave me alone??_

Pulling his back out of the fire, he half-ran, half-strode, to his private Potions cabinet. Rummaging around few seconds, he finally found the bottle he was looking for and took it with him into his office at the same moment a Slytherin prefect appeared in his fire. "Professor. All students from 1st to 6th years are accounted for, except Graham Pritchard and Malcolm Baddock from 4th year. We do not know where they are. The wards are placed.", she said. Nodding curtly he said: "I will reinforce the wards in a couple of minutes.". The prefect inclined her head and withdrew herself.

_Count on my Slytherins to be the fastest to respond.._

A second later, the head of Ginny Weasley appeared: "Professor! The wards are placed, but we can't find Natalie McDonald from 4th year and Euan Abercrombie from 2nd, their friends say that Euan is in the library and that Natalie is taking a walk with Elenor Branstone from Hufflepuff.". Pausing to gasp for air, Ginny regarded him with an anxious expression and said: "Professor.. Do you know how the fight is going?".

_What the -I really don't have time for this-_

Ginny Weasley must have seen the annoyance on his face. Before he could utter a single word, she snapped: "Don't you even dare! I have just as much right to know as anyone else, if not more! Several of my friends and family members are out there, fighting, and I-".

"Shut up, you ignorant girl! I have no idea how-". A vivid image in his mind interrupted him, and he stumbled backwards.

_-----Ginny suddenly stepped between them, taking Hermione by the arm and leading her away. Before she could take more than two steps, Severus was standing in front of them and grabbed Hermione's other arm._

"_This has nothing to do with you, Ms. Weasley, so stay out of it!", he snapped in his best class room tone._

"_On the contrary, Professor, she's my friend so it has everything to with me. And don't you think you've done enough already?", Ginny said in the coldest of voices. A collective gasp resounded from the crowd-----_

"What the hell??", he gasped, trying to rid himself from the sudden memory. A strong pair of hands were leading him to a chair and he pulled away, realizing that Ginny had stepped through the fire to help him. "Sit down, you're still weak, it seems.", she mumbled. Snarling, he rounded on her. "What are you doing? I am perfectly capable of-".

A glare eerily reminiscent of one he had once received from the Headmaster stopped his protest, and he barely even realized that she had pushed him into the chair. Placing her hands on her hips, she hissed through clenched teeth: "Now, you listen to me, Professor. I don't give a damn about your authority over me, all rules are put aside in a time of war and this _is _war! Almost everyone I know are out there, risking their lives as we speak, and if I'm not allowed to join in the real battle, I bloody hell want to help where ever else I can! I cannot stand by and let you stumble around blindly, risking capture of some Death Eater sure to come barging through that door anytime! You are weak and apparently _not_ capable of staying on your own two feet, so you better shut up and let me help you!".

The furious tirade left him speechless as she steadily continued glaring at him. Opening his mouth to say something, _anything, _he could not ignore the confusing amount of new information and memory crammed into his brain all at once and no words escaped his mouth.

At that moment, a bloodcurdling scream resonated off the walls just outside his office.

* * *

Chaos erupted throughout the Great Hall at the exact moment the Death Eaters streamed through the doors. Panic welling up her throat, Hermione screamed: "Follow me!", grabbed her parents by their sleeves and dragged them along as quickly as possible. The fear and complete confusion on their faces cut to her heart. Sending a silent prayer to whatever deity that might be listening, Hermione felt very thankful as she realized that all of the Muggle relatives of students had been seated close together.

The panicking non-magical people were clearly scared to death and hurriedly followed her. The Head Boy, Ernie Macmillan, suddenly appeared beside her, gasping: "Through that door!", and they hurtled forward. The racket of the many fighting people somehow hid them, and they managed to escape through the door behind the High table. "Colloportus!", Hermione gasped, following Ernie down the corridor, urging people forward, as he said: "We'll be safe in the dungeons!".

In a matter of mere minutes they had reached a large, unused class room close to the Potions section. As soon as people were inside, Hermione and Ernie frantically put up every ward they could think of and turned to face the silent crowd of anxious and fearful Muggle relatives of Hogwarts students. Drawing a deep breath, Hermione was able to steady her nerves and somewhat calmly regard the people.

"Darling.. Hermione.. What on earth is going on?", Catherine Granger asked, her usually steady and confident voice having an undercurrent of fear. "Yeah, what the hell is the meaning of this?", a red-nosed man spoke with an angry glint in his eyes. Other voices floated to her ears: "Who were those people in masks?", "What _was_ that.. creature at the door?", "Why are we in here?".

Looking around at the many faces, Hermione opened her mouth to speak, interrupted as Ernie loudly said: "Hogwarts is under attack, and it is our duty, as Head Boy and Girl, to make certain that everyone unable to magically defend themselves are safe.".

A thick silence fell, broken when a small boy started to cry. "Who is attacking?", a woman asked. Glancing briefly at Ernie, Hermione said: "Voldemort.". Two or three of the assembled flinched, and Ernie gave a visible shudder. Most simply frowned or nodded absently. Ernie hurriedly explained the identity of the dark wizard, cut off as a strangled cry from a young woman at the back of the crowd. She pushed herself forward, tears welling up in her eyes as she said: "My daughter is gone! I –I thought she had run ahead of me, but I can't find her! She's not here, I'm sure, I've looked everywhere!".

_Oh no.. If she is caught-_

Before she could change her mind, Hermione hurriedly took down the wards and said to Ernie: "I'm going looking for her.". Ignoring the protests of her parents and Ernie, Hermione hurried out of the door and replaced the wards before running down the corridor, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Coming to a halt at the end of the corridor, Hermione peered around the corner. It was empty, but a second later she heard two voices; Lucius Malfoy and someone else were coming hurriedly toward her and she pulled her head back.

_No way to escape –I have to fight them-_

"They ran this way, Draco saw them. Once they realize we have the girl-", the whimper of a child sounded, "-they will have no choice but to come out and fight.", Malfoy Sr. drawled, answered by a contemptuous laugh. Briefly closing her eyes and attempting to steady the wild tattoo of her heart, Hermione poised herself and held firmly on to her wand.

_Any second now.._

The second they rounded the corner, Hermione gave a vicious yell and kicked hard at the nearest and then screamed: "Stupefy!". Lucius Malfoy tumbled to the ground, dropping a girl of about five years old, and the other Death Eater fell groaning to his knees. Hermione recognized him as Antonin Dolohov and yelled: "Stup-". He threw himself at her and cut her off in mid-sentence, pulling out his own wand.

Struggling desperately against him, Hermione held on to her wand while trying to wrench Dolohov's away from him. The struggle was over quick and Hermione found herself pinned to the floor, her arms held over her head and her legs held in place by Dolohovs knees while he pointed his wand at her. Her own wand was lying three feet away. "So..", Dolohov sneered, "A little Mudblood decided to take on the big, bad Death Eaters, _did she?_". Emphasizing the last words, he spat her in the face and ignored her indignant curse.

"It wasn't too difficult to overpower you, bitch, I would have thought that your little lover had taught your better.". Hermione froze at his words, the color draining momentarily from her face. Dolohov laughed roughly and continued: "It seems that Severus has lost his touch, or maybe teaching you how to defend yourself wasn't on top of list of how to spend his time with you.". The anger returned full-force and Hermione opened her mouth to snarl the first insult that came to her mind, but was cut off as a loud crack came somewhere from behind her. Dolohov froze as a blue light enveloped him, and he fell to his side, landing beside Hermione with a thump.

Behind him stood the five year-old girl with Hermione's wand in her hand, staring wide-eyed at the fallen man and then bursting into tears as she dropped the wand on the floor. Hurrying to her feet, Hermione walked over to the girl and picked up her wand. "It's okay, don't worry.", she mumbled as the little girl flung her arms around her, and Hermione gave her a hug before taking her hand and rushing back toward the warded class room.

She fervently hoped to reach the class room before running into any more Death Eaters. The words of Dolohov still sounded in her ears, and she shivered of anger at the memory. Stopping in front of an old suit of armor, Hermione realized with a pang a panic that she had no idea where she was.

_Shit! How the hell am I supposed to find that class room??_

Forcing her breathing and her nerves to steady, she cast a wary look around her, hoping to find some clue as to which direction she should choose. Nothing caught her eyes, so she simply started walking, trying not to upset the little girl. Her breathing was far too loud in her ears and the slight clicking of her shoes send shivers down her spine as she determinedly walked forward, her wand held high and her eyes nervously darting back and forth in the hallway.

A shadow suddenly rushed past behind her and she whirled around, screamed and tried to duck as a spell was hurtled toward her, losing footing and hitting her head against the rough wooden floor.

* * *

"Stay here!", Severus snarled at Ginny Weasley and took of the wards, before slamming the door open and running into the corridor. At the end stood Draco Malfoy bent over an unconscious Hermione Granger, holding on to the front of her robes and snarling into her face: "How dare you stun my father, you whore??". Pointing his wand at the young man, Severus hissed: "Stupefy!", at the same moment as the red jet of Ginny's Stunner swished past him.

Draco collapsed on the floor and they hurried forward, Severus rushing to Hermione's side and swiftly lifted her of the floor as Ginny took a small girl, whom Severus had not noticed, by the hand and hurried her into the office. After gingerly having placed the unconscious young woman on his desk and levitated her attacker into the room, the Potions Master re-set the wards.

The flames behind him flared up and both he and Ginny swirled around with their wands held high, pointing them at a startled Ravenclaw prefect. "What??", Severus viciously snarled. "Ehm.. We aren't missing any students, Stewart Ackerly just returned. He's brought a couple of other students with him. Graham Pritchard and Malcolm Baddock from your House, sir, and a Gryffindor, Euan Abercrombie. Stewart said he'd seen Death Eaters in the halls and convinced the other students to come with him.", the prefect said, warily eying the wands pointed at him.

_That means only the other Gryffindor and at least one Hufflepuff is still out there._

"Send the Slytherins and the Gryffindor through.", Severus said and stepped back as the students climbed through. They looked around nervously. Ignoring them, Severus thanked the Ravenclaw prefect and then sent the students to their respective Common rooms. A second after the young Gryffindor disappearing into the flames the head of a nervous Hufflepuff prefect appeared, instantly starting babbling: "We can't find Elenor Branstone, sir, everyone else is in place, but-". Cutting her of with an angry glare, Severus turned to Ginny.

"If you want to participate so much as you do, I suggest that you take this bottle-", he shoved the bottle he had earlier retrieved into her hands, "-and use it to reinforce the wards in the Common rooms. Take that young girl with you.". Turning around without waiting for a reply, Severus magically bound Draco Malfoy to a chair in front of the desk and began to examine Hermione.

A sudden wave of memories hit him again.

_-----"...You know, they are right, no one wants to be with me..No one could ever love me.."_

_The tears were streaming down her cheeks, and Severus pulled her close to him, holding her tightly as she cried into his chest. His heart felt like it was shattering. _

"_That is not true, Hermione. You are an incredibly beautiful and intelligent young woman, one of the most talented witches in decades. Anyone who cannot see that is a fool and not worthy of your time. And you can be loved.. I know, because I do..", he mumbled.-----_

Gasping, he clutched his desk. Ginny took hold of his arm without a word and steadied him, making him sit down in a chair. The rush of memory faded, and Severus took a deep breath. Glancing up at the student in front of him, he said in a voice that trembled slightly: "Go reinforce the wards.". She gave him a dubious look before leaving with the little girl, smiling kindly at the child.

_What has gone on in the past six months?? I have told a student that I _love_ her, and I have-_

The memory that had caught him by surprise in the Great Hall rose up in his conscience again.

_----- As his hands moved further down to her back, a deep sigh escaped her lips. He chuckled almost silently behind her. His hands slid to her shoulders again, and Hermione leaned into his back, her eyes still closed._

_Her eyes opened as he gently pulled her to a standing position, widening as he leaned toward her._

_Their lips touched.-----_

"How could I do that??", he snarled, jumping to his feet and swearing loudly. "What the hell is she thinking of me- how could I-". A low moan behind him made him stop and he turned around. Hermione was attempting to sit up, her eyelids fluttering.

"Lay down, I still have not found out where you are injured.", he said, forcing his voice even. She slowly complied, whimpering a bit as her head met the surface of the desk. "Are you in any pain?". She nodded, grimacing as it obviously hurt. With a rasping voice, she said: "My.. The back of my head. And I think I've broken a rib.". Sliding his hand behind her head, he felt a small lump on the back. Performing a (concussion?) charm, he sighed a breath in relief. "You do not have a concussion.", he mumbled. Lifting his hand to check her ribs, he hesitated.

_It would be best if I removed the clothing to examine her ribs... But.. What will she think if I do that?_

Reason overpowered apprehension. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he said: "I have to remove some of your clothes, Hermione, to assess the injury.". She nodded weakly, allowing him to open her robes. She was wearing a buttoned shirt underneath. A tap with his wand left it unbuttoned and he gently pushed it aside.

A bruise was visible on her right side, and when he carefully placed his hand on the bruise. A sharp intake of breath from Hermione seemed to confirm the suspicion and he said to her: "You are right, a rib appears to be broken. I will fetch some potions to ease the pain and help you heal.". Another weak nod and he turned around to search his potions cabinet. Half-way out of the door Severus stopped. Shrugging his outer robe off his shoulders, he walked back and gently placed it over Hermione's bare stomach and cast a spell that would enable no one else than Ginny Weasley to enter through the fireplace.

It took him no more than a minute to find a bottle of Skele-gro, a potions against head ache and two beakers. Upon returning he saw Ginny stepping through the fire, casting Hermione a worried look and quietly asking: "Is she going to be alright?". Nodding curtly, Severus poured the potions into the beakers and asked: "Is the little girl alright?".

As he walked over to the desk Ginny said: "Yeah, Luna Lovegood's taking care of her. What are Hermione's injuries?". He answered Ginny's question, trying to ignore the fact that his head was spinning slightly, the many memories regained giving him a head ache. Looking down at the young woman in front of him, a saddened expression slipped over his face.

_She looks so.. vulnerable.. Why is she always hurt, in one way or another?_

Suddenly realizing the direction his thoughts were taking, he scowled at them. Slipping his hand behind Hermione's head, he raised it slightly to pour the Skele-gro into her mouth. Waiting for the potion to wait, he held on to her.

A gasp escaped Hermione's lips and she opened her eyes, trying to sit up. "No, no, stay down.", he said, "It is better if you relax. Does your head still hurt?". She nodded, looking around her with slightly confused eyes. In a hoarse voice she asked: "What..happened?".

"We don't know for sure, we found Malfoy leaning over you in the hallway.", Ginny said from behind him. She had walked closer without Severus noticing. Grabbing the other beaker, he held it out to Hermione, and said: "Against the head ache. It will also make you fall asleep.", as she raised an inquisitive brow. She regarded it for a couple of seconds, then allowed him to pour it into her mouth.

"Thank you.", she murmured, slipping back into the realm of dreams.

* * *

She was lying on something soft, enveloped by something warm.

_Where am I? What on earth has happened?_

Slowly opening her eyes, Hermione found herself staring into a fireplace. Looking around her, she saw that she was lying on a sofa. Large bookcases were standing on either side of the fireplace. She recognized the room as the one next to Severus office. Slowly maneuvering herself into a sitting position, she realized that she was covered by a robe, and then tried to remember what had happened. Fuzzy recollections swarmed her mind and she closed her eyes, getting a hold of the memories a little by little.

_Death Eaters in the Great Hall.. Warding the unused class room.. Attacking Lucius Malfoy and Dolohov.. Draco Malfoy shooting a curse at me.. Severus opening my shirt.._

Her eyes snapped open as she remembered. Gooseflesh rose on her arms at the thought of his delicate hands on her skin, and she jumped up from the sofa, cursing at herself under her breath as she started pacing in front of the fireplace.

_It is no good to dwell on that thought, no good at all. Not when he doesn't remember anything-_

Freezing on the spot, the mental image of Severus staring into her eyes during the ceremony appeared in her mind. He had remembered something, she was certain, the question was _what_ he had remembered-

A sudden roar from behind a door startled her, and in three quick strides she was wrenching it open, her wand held out in front of her. The scene in front of her eyes utterly stunned her, and she simply stared as the events in Severus' office unfolded in front of her eyes.

The Potions Master had one hand around the throat of Draco Malfoy, his wand in the other hand and pointing straight at the shocked young man's face, while said young man gasped for breath. Severus' features was contorted in rage, a rage so fierce and savage that it froze the blood in her veins. Behind him stood Ginny, calmly pointing her wand at Malfoy's chest and making no move to free Malfoy from the strangling hold.

"What's going on?", Hermione asked, a bit uncertain of whether she really wanted to know. Shooting her a quick glance, Severus said: "I am glad to see you are awake.". He still did not release his grip. Ginny smiled briefly and waved her over. "We're just getting a few answers from this little piece of shit, that's all. Not to worry, we wont kill him. Just make him suffer a bit.".

The confusion swarming her mind, Hermione walked cautiously over to stand beside Ginny. A few seconds where no other sound than Draco's sputtering for air was heard passed, and then Hermione said: "If you really don't want to kill him, you might want to let go of his throat. He's not going to be able to breathe unless you do so.".

Finally letting go, Severus took a step back, still aiming his wand at Draco Malfoy, as the young man fell to the floor, gasping and rubbing his throat. In a low voice Severus mumbled: "Stupefy.", levitated the unconscious Malfoy to a chair and then turning around.

The fierce expression was replaced with one of worry, and he quickly took a step closer to her. Gently taking hold of her jaw, Severus tilted her head upwards and gazed into her eyes. Grabbing her wrist with his other hand, he found her pulse with his fingers. Hermione barely dared to move. The expression in his obsidian eyes was so genuinely caring and concerned, not one trace of pity or contempt was present, that she could only stare at him; feeling completely entranced.

Taking a step back, Severus let go of her wrist and her jaw, averting his eyes. An odd feeling spread in her; it took her a moment to realize that it was disappointment. She was disappointed that he had let go. "It seems all your injuries are healed.". His voice was low and tense.

Ginny cleared her throat and took a step forward. "Maybe we should go into to the other room..?". Not waiting for a reply, Ginny seized her arm and lead her back through the door. Forcing her to sit on the sofa, Ginny conjured a cup of tea for the both of them and asked: "How much do you remember?".

Frowning, Hermione answered: "I remember more or less everything. The attack, getting ambushed by Malfoy and.. I guess he knocked me out. Next thing I remember is waking up and getting a potion from Severus, and then I woke up in here.".

Ginny nodded and stared into her cup, looking as if she was trying to find the right words to say something difficult. After a short moment she put the cup down and looked determinedly at Hermione. "Remember that AMD-association? The one that claimed to be against moral decay?".

"Yes.. The one that took that picture of.. me and Severus.".

"That's the one. After we found you in the hallway, Snape forced Draco to take Veritaserum. It turns out that it was Malfoy behind everything. He's the one who's been spying on Snape and who took that picture, the association was just something he made up. Malfoy has also helped the Death Eaters get into Hogwarts, making them Portkeys that somehow allowed them to get onto the grounds.", Ginny said, a distasteful sneer on her face at the thought of Draco Malfoy.

But Hermione's thoughts were somewhere else.

_He knows.. Severus knows.. That's why he was angry-_

"Hermione?". Ginny's voice cut through her thoughts and she looked up., mumbling: "What?".

"Are you okay? You're really pale-".

Hermione got to her feet, unable to stop herself from trembling slightly. "That was why he was so angry.. It wasn't about Draco Malfoy, it was about me, it was because he was repulsed by _me_ -I should have known -I have to get out of here, I- Besides, my parents are probably worried-". Jumping forward, she tried to reach the door, intercepted as Ginny grabbed her arms and held her back.

"No –let go of me, I can't stay here!", Hermione yelled, surprised at the slightly hysteric edge to her own voice. Ginny held on tighter, staring at her with an alarmed look and said: "Hermione, you can't go out there, into the middle of the battle –you'd never make it! You can find your parents later, they'll be alright, but you can't go now-"

_No.. Why the hell am I so weak?? Why-_

Ripping her arm out of the grip of her friend, Hermione staggered backwards and cursed at the tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. Collapsing on the floor, she burried her head in her hands and started sobbing, without really knowing why. She barely even noticed Ginny talking to her and trying to get her of the floor, and didn't move until a strong pair of arms embraced her and held her tight while she buried her head in a white linen shirt.

* * *

When he heard a yell from the other room, Severus immediately assumed the worst; that Death Eaters had somehow gained access to the room and was attacking the two young women. The sight that met him when he ripped the door open therefore surprised him.

Hermione was lying on the floor, crying heavily, while Ginny was trying to soothe her. Severus quickly walked over to them and pulled Hermione into his arms, lightly stroking her back and mumbling: "Just let it all out, _ljublima_, cry the tears you need...". She held on to his shirt, almost compulsively, and sobbed heartbreakingly.

_It must be me.. It is all because of me.. The only things I can give to others are fear and hatred, heartbreak and derision..._

Closing his eyes he mentally cursed himself. Hearing Draco Malfoy's confession had brought back another stream of memories, in particular the look of hurt on Hermione's face after he had first kissed her and then pushed her away, after _he_ had forced himself on _her_. It was now haunting his mind more ferociously than any other memory he had regained.

Holding Hermione even tighter, he continued mumbling in her ears. Soft and gentle words he didn't even know he was capable of speaking, were flowing from his lips as was it the most natural thing in the world for him. Realization suddenly hit him; he no longer cared what others might think, no longer cared that Ginny Weasley was looking at him with eyes that could only be described as surprised and shrewd, no longer cared that a war was raging mere meters from them. The only thing that mattered was Hermione and that he had hurt her.

_How could I ever do such a thing to her? How could I hurt her without realizing the damage it would do? How could I? I do not deserve her, I never have and never will.. I can never go near her again, never..._

Her tears slowly diminished as her breathing became heavier, indicating that she was falling asleep. He reluctantly let go of her and stood, looking down at the small figure asleep on the floor for a moment before levitating her to the sofa. Without a word, he exited the room. Leaning against the door he had just closed, he took a deep breath. A sardonic smile suddenly creased his lips.

_How is that I, Severus Snape, have suddenly started caring, even having feelings, about one of my students? I really must be an old fool to ever have begun having these thoughts, to pretend I could ever feel a thing as that. I am not capable of such feeling._

The small voice at the back of his mind was ignored. The small voice that told him how much of a lie that sentiment was.

* * *

Hermione opened her eyes and stared into a fireplace. The scene seemed vaguely familiar, and she realized that she had woken up in a similar manner not that long ago. Remembering the events that had followed after her latest awakening made her blush, and she sat up, frowning and chewing her bottom lip.

_Why is that I always break whenever I need to be strong? Am I really that weak, am I not as strong as I think I am? Was Dumbledore right when he said that I couldn't handle this fight? _

Her mind swarming with thoughts, she sat on the sofa until Ginny slipped through the door and gave her a somewhat tense smile. Sitting down beside her, Ginny stared into the fire for a little moment and then spoke: "How do you think the fight is going?".

Not knowing what to say, Hermione shrugged. It felt odd to be away from the battle when her friends and professors were out there, risking their lives. "It's rather ironic, don't you think?", she suddenly asked. Frowning, Ginny asked: "What do you mean?".

"I've always thought that I would be in the middle of the fight, you know, being Harry's friend and all-", she said, interrupted by Ginny's mumble: "And occasionally his brain as well..". Smiling briefly, Hermione continued: "But here I am, sitting with you in front of a fire in Severus Snape's rooms, waiting for everyone else to do the work. Waiting to see whether we'll live or not.".

"Hermione..", Ginny began, but Hermione shook her head, not wanting to hear what she had to say. "Don't, Ginny. You know that's what were waiting for, and I'm sure you know how.. wrong it feels for me. It must be the same for you. We can only wait to see whether our friends and family die or not.".

Staring into the fire, neither of them spoke for a while. Ginny finally cleared her throat and said: "As much as I want to be out there, I know we're not going to be able to. And you're right, all we can do is wait. Wait and hope.". A small smirk suddenly crept over her face. "If we make it out of here, I'm going to have a horrible 7th year in Potions. I must have yelled at Snape at least five times today, last time as recently as half an hour ago.". At Hermione's confused expression she explained: "He tried to leave. I told him I'd put a Bat-Bogey Hex on him if he tried, and then I put up additional wards on the door and the fireplace. He wont be able to lift them; only the one who cast them can.".

Hermione shook her head, smiling.

_Trust Ginny to do something like that..._

-

The hours passed only slowly. Staring into the fireplace, neither Hermione nor Ginny said much, only occasionally did they exchange a few words. Snape stayed in the other room, only revealing his presence by a muffled sound of footsteps every once in a while and by almost constantly being in Hermione's mind.

The images and thoughts in her mind consisted of speculations about either the battle or the Potions Master. She was so lost in thought that she barely even noticed when Ginny jumped to her feet after a few hours, staring at the door. Getting to her feet, Hermione heard voices coming from the other side. Severus' deep baritone and another, a kind voice –Professor Dumbledore.

As one, the two young women jumped forward and pulled the door open. The Headmaster turned his head in the fireplace, and Severus' gave them an unreadable look. Her heart skipping a beat, Hermione breathed: "Have we won?". A short silence fell before the Headmaster said: "The Death Eaters have left Hogwarts, but-". Not hearing him out, Ginny and Hermione shrieked and hugged each other. Only then realizing that Dumbledore had been about to say something else, Hermione looked at him again, rooted to the spot when she realized that the usual twinkle in his eyes were gone. Feeling her face drain of color, she swallowed, then asked: "There were.. casualties?".

The silence was almost painful. Finally, Dumbledore said, in a sad voice: "Yes. We lost Professor Vector, Megan Jones from Hufflepuff, Dean Thomas from your own house and.. Ms. Weasley, I am sorry. Your brother, Charlie, was killed as well.".

Ginny stared at Dumbledore, unable to say anything. Tears were beginning to stream down her cheeks, a small whimper escaping her mouth. Pulling her into a hug, Hermione whispered: "I'm so sorry.". Taking a couple of deep breaths, Ginny got control of herself and pulled away. With a voice only slightly wavering, she asked: "Are there anyone injured?". Nodding slowly, the Headmaster seemed to consider whether or not to tell them.

A deep voice from behind them said: "It seems the Death Eaters were deliberately going after people close to Mr. Potter. Lupin and Ronald Weasley are both in the Infirmary, seriously injured. And Mr. Potter himself-".

"Severus!". Dumbledore's sharp voice interrupted, the warning in his eyes prominent. Fixing the Headmaster with a steady look, Severus said in a controlled voice: "They deserve to know. We have avoided their interference in the battle, but they at least have a right to know the truth.". Completely taken aback by the unusual statement from Severus, Hermione looked back at Dumbledore. Several tense moments passed, the Headmaster and the Potions Master steadily regarding each other. Finally, Dumbledore sighed and turned his head to look at them.

"I suppose you are right, Severus. Ms. Weasley, Ms. Granger, I am sorry to tell you this, but Harry is missing. The Death Eaters kidnapped him.".

* * *

To be continued...


	11. The forest

A/n: **Important:**

I would like to say thank you to **HyacinthMacaw** for her generous consent to use a white gyrfalcon. Larisa the Gyrfalcon is hereby dedicated to her wonderful stories _**As the falcon hath her bells: Taking flight** _and** _As the falcon hath her bells: On the wing_**I strongly encourage you to go read these stories, here on

Do you recognize this sentence: "_like a drowning man to a log_" ? I am certain I've read in a story somewhere, but I just can't remember where. I would like to give you credit if its your, so please contact me if you recognize it.

A/n 2:_blackbird fly_: Here's the new chapter –I hope it's in time to save your sanity.

_Minerva7:_ As much as I'd like to promise you it will, I really can't. There would be no fun in that :) You just have to wait and see..

_Cherdy the Molologist: _I'm happy to hear that you're still sane :)

_pricey-blonde: _Thanks. I just can't help it, I think I've become addicted to them..

_Silver Butterfly04: _Thanks.

_Vickie211:_ A bit obvious, I'll admit, but it had to be done. Thanks about Ginny –That is exactly what I want to portrait. I hope I'm able to keep that up.

_Madelynn Rae:_ Here you go :)

_Astaldiarfreak:_ Thank you.

Reviews are really great, you have no idea how happy and inspired they make me. So if you have constructive criticism,

questions or just a comment, I would very much like to hear from you.

Disclaimer: Do I really have to put this in here everytime? I'm sure you know it by now: The plot is mine, everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –10**

Numbness spread in Hermione.

"What do you mean, _kidnapped_?!". The angry outburst came from Ginny, and Hermione turned to stare blindly at her, barely aware of the words she heard. The red-head was glaring at the Headmaster, and before he could say a word, Ginny had continued: "How can he have been kidnapped? Don't you keep an eye out for your students? Don't you make sure the _world savior_ is not in any danger? Don't you-".

_How.. How can this be?_

"Ms. Weasley!". The sharp voice that interrupted came from Severus. In a more restrained tone he continued: "Calm yourself. While you may have a right to know the facts, it does not mean that you have any right to behave in an impudent manner.". Fixing her professor with a withering glare, Ginny said through gritted teeth: "But _how_ could this happen? How is it possible?".

_I have to save him. They don't know where he is, what to do-_

The fact that Harry was gone, _kidnapped_, had finally registered with Hermione, and she jumped to her feet. "Where are you going, Ms. Granger?". The voice of the Headmaster cut through her frantic thoughts and she paused, surprised as she realized that she had her hand on the door handle and had lifted the wards, ready to rush out of the door, ready to rush after a group of Death Eaters to save her friend.

"Headmaster.. Do you know where they have taken him?". Hermione's voice shook slightly, and she cursed herself for the weakness. Regarding her serenely for a second, Dumbledore said: "No, Ms. Granger, we do not. We have certain ideas of where the most likely places to take him will be, but we know nothing for sure.".

_Just as I thought.. Just as I suspected when Harry gave me his.. will._

"And, if you'll forgive me for asking, how are you going to find him?". Successfully keeping her voice even, Hermione stared expectantly at the old man. A sad expression spread on his face, and she had to fight back the urge to scream at him; call him a senile old man for not thinking of something as obvious as this.

_It will do no good now._

Turning around to face the door, she took a deep breath and forced her voice even as she said: "I have to go after him, I can't let anything happen to him.". Ignoring the surprised gasp from Ginny and forcing back the tears forming at the corners of her eyes, Hermione pushed the door open.

A hand grabbed her arm and she turned around, staring into the eyes of Severus. "You are going nowhere, Ms. Granger.". Trying to pull her arm away, anger flared in Hermione. "And why not? I have been bereft of the opportunity to defend this school, are you going to take away my chance of defending my friend as well?".

Still not letting go, his face curled into a sneer for a second. Apparently forcing himself to calm down, Severus said in a low voice: "You cannot take on a group of Death Eaters on your own, it is far more dangerous than you can imagine. And just how, pray tell, are you going to find your.._ friend_ faster than we can?".

_Shit.. Not this..._

Shifting her eyes away from his intense gaze, Hermione fought back the sudden wave of nervousness. Forcing herself to breath evenly, she lifted her eyes again. "I have my own ways, Professor, it is not that difficult to make sure you find certain people if need be. Now, if you be so kind as to let me go, I'd like to get on my way.".

His voice somewhere near a snarl, he tightened his grip slightly and sneered: "Really? Well, pardon me for saying that I really don't think any of your so-called _ways_ will be any better than-". He cut himself off and took a deep breath, steadying himself. A surge of fear suddenly passed through her as she stared into his eyes, unable to look away even if she had wanted to.

"I am going to go after them, no matter what. You cannot stop me.", she said after an uncomfortable silence. Squaring her shoulders, she continued: "I am free to do whatever I desire, and I want to go after Harry.".

* * *

After having left Hermione and Ginny on their own, Severus had sat down in the chair at his desk and stared into the fire, completely lost in thought. He had only moved once, to stun Draco again as the young man had begun to awake. The confusion in his mind was extremely aggravating to him; one of the most frustrating things for him was to lose control, and being confused about his feelings was definitely in the top ten of things that did just that.

_What has happened to me? When did I go from being myself to an infatuated fool? Have I ever been myself, or is this really me? What has that girl done to me?_

The fire had given him no answers, and he had finally got himself a headache trying to figure it out.

When the Headmaster had popped into the fire Severus had visibly jumped, so deep in thought that he had not payed any attention to his surroundings. While cursing himself for the lack of vigilance, he had listened to the Headmaster tell him what had occurred during the battle, scowling as he found out that Harry Potter had managed to get himself into trouble _again_.

The reaction of the two girls when they heard this had been expected, even if he considered Hermione overly dramatic in thinking she could rescue the foolish boy on her own. As he had stared into her eyes and listened to her declaring that she was following Potter no matter what, he had suddenly been overwhelmed with a deep need to somehow _protect_ her, to make sure she was alright. Opening his mouth to say something, he suddenly remembered his vow to himself: to stay away from her. Taking a deep breath, he let go of her arms and nodded sharply.

Ginny got up from her chair and walked over to Hermione. In a low voice she said: "I want to go with you.". Hermione's certain expression turned to apprehension and she opened her mouth, cut of as Dumbledore said: "I cannot allow you to do that, Ms. Weasley, you are still a minor and a student at this school-". Raising a hand to silence the angry outburst from the redhead, the Headmaster fixed Ginny with a stern look and said: "You know I am right. You cannot go, especially not now. Think of your family.".

Her nostrils flaring slightly, Ginny sat back down in the chair, her expression a frozen mask of fury. Staring at the redhead, Severus couldn't suppress a slight smirk.

_She really takes after_ _her mother.._

The short silence that followed was broken as the Headmaster said: "Ms. Granger, what exactly did you have in mind as to attempting to find Harry?". Hermione hadn't taken her eyes of Severus until then , but now she turned to look at the Headmaster and said: "I cast a Tracing Charm on a chain and gave it to Harry.".

_A Tracing Charm? Rather Slytherin of her..._

Dumbledore frowned slightly and said: "I see. Ms. Granger, I assume you are aware that it is illegal to cast such a charm yourself?". A slight flush spread on her cheeks, but she held his gaze ad said: "Yes, I know you're not supposed to cast one without getting a permission from the Ministry, but I.. I decided that it was worth the risk.".

Unable to hold back a snort, Severus scowled as all eyes turned to him. Opening his mouth to speak, he was cut of as the door to the office suddenly burst open a middle-age couple looking quite flustered rushed in. Barely surppressing a shriek, the brown-haired woman threw her arms around a startled Hermione, while the man heaved a deep sigh of relief and smiled.

Pulling back, the woman eyed Hermione with a suddenly incensed expression. "Hermione Granger! How dare you run of like that, leaving your father and I behind to worry?!". Holding on to Hermione's upper arms, the brunette launched into a ramble, ignoring the young woman's protestations.

_Her parents.._

Severus unconsciously straightened his back slightly and cleared his throat, cutting through the woman's angry tirade and Hermione's half-desperate attempts to explain. Keeping his face impassive, he said in voice he hoped to be sufficiently polite: "You ought not to blame your daughter, Mrs. Granger, she had no opportunity to leave this room.".

Turning around, Hermione's mother stared blankly at him for a moment, apparently completely surprised at seeing him. Looking around, she saw the benign Headmaster's head in the fire, the somber Ginny, the unconscious and bound Draco and the stern Severus all regarding her. Taking a step forward, Hermione's father gave them all a reconciling smile.

"I am afraid my wife let her temper run off with her. Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am John Granger, Hermione's father, and this is my wife and Hermione's mother, Catherine.". The brunette had pulled herself together as her husband spoke. Taking a calming breath, she said: "Yes, I am sorry to have been so rude. I was simply worried.".

"Quite understandable, Mrs. Granger.", the Headmaster chuckled. Smiling back warily, Catherine Granger regarded the head floating in the flames for a second, then nodded. Turning back to her daughter, she pulled her into her arms again. "I'm sorry, darling, you just had me really worried.".

Hermione looked slightly uncomfortable, her brow furrowed a bit. "I know, mum, I would have returned if I'd been able to.", she mumbled. Pulling back from her daughter again, the older woman suddenly looked rather tired and worn. Pulling out a chair for his wife, John Granger padded her on the shoulder. His expression growing serious, he said: "How did it go?".

While the Headmaster began to relay the events of the battle, Severus watched Hermione. She was staring straight ahead of her, her brow furrowed and a sad look in her eyes. Suddenly her eyes snapped up to his and she stared straight at him. His breath hitching for a second as he saw the intensity in her eyes, and he was startled as he suddenly heard the Headmaster call his name: "Severus? Is that not right?".

"Pardon me, Albus? I am afraid I was not listening.", he said, ignoring the twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes. "Is it true that Ms. Granger was injured by young Mr. Malfoy, and was therefore unable to leave these rooms?", Dumbledore said. Nodding, he ignored the feeling of Hermione still staring at him.

_What will she do now? Will she still wish to search for Potter?_

The answer to that question came right away. The Headmaster turned his twinkling eyes from Severus to Hermione and asked: "Ms. Granger, do you still wish to go after Harry?". Shifting her gaze from Severus to her parents she nodded. Jumping to her feet, Catherine Granger stared at her daughter. "Wait a minute –didn't you just say that those followers of that.. Lord has taken him?". Still looking at them Hermione nodded again, flinching slightly as her mother started on another tirade, this time begging her daughter to stay.

_She looks so.. desperate._

Realization suddenly hit him. Hermione was caught between going after her friend to save him and staying with her parents, and no matter what she did she would end up hurting someone. Before he had a chance to stop himself, before he had a chance to even realize what he was doing, Severus took a step forward and looked straight at Hermione as her mother ceased her outburst.

"If you are determined to follow through on this plan, I have no choice but to accompany you.".

* * *

Hermione couldn't get Severus out of her mind as she bend over her trunk.

_He wants to go with me.. But why?_

The only possible explanation she could find was that he wanted to protect her, it could not be anything else. Pulling out several school robes, Hermione began shifting through her neatly folded clothes to see what she could bring with her. After Severus had offered to go with her, they had been able to convince her mum and dad to let her go, helped immensely by the Headmaster who, despite a sad look in his eyes, had urged them greatly to attempt the rescue.

After having left the Potions Master's office, Hermione and Ginny had run to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall, who were helping the medi-witch with the minor injuries, had reluctantly allowed them to see Ron and Remus. Both were unconscious, Ron having deep slashes across his cheeks and arms, and Lupin looking so pale he almost seemed translucent. Forcing down a lump in her throat, Hermione had given both of them a kiss on their cheeks and left, leaving Ginny to sit with her brother. Arriving at her room, she had immediately begun looking through her trunk.

Severus had told her to dress in the warmest of clothes she had. Assuming that he knew what he was talking about, she did as he had told her. He had, after all, been a spy for about twenty years and ought to know how to track down the Death Eaters. That fact had also made it easier to convince her parents that she would be relatively safe with Severus, if one didn't count in the obvious dangers of following some of the world's most fanatic people.

And if she had to chose anybody to come with her, who better than a former Death Eater who knew their habits and was able to defend himself rather well?

An image of Severus suddenly floated into her mind, an image of him in the Great Hall.

_He remembered something before the attack.. But what? It was probably that night in the Hospital Wing, after he found me on the Astronomy Tower.. Merlin, that seems like ages ago. Was that the reason he wants to protect me? Is he afraid that I'm too weak, that I'll crack under the pressure?_

Scowling at herself, Hermione straightened her back, muttering to herself: "But I _am_ weak, otherwise I wouldn't have broken down in Severus' rooms.".

A soft knock on the door made her jump slightly, and she walked over to it and opened it to reveal Ginny on her doorstep. "We need to talk.", Ginny mumbled and strode into the room. "Sure..", Hermione said, frowning at the frigid expression on the face of her friend. Turning around to face her, Ginny got straight to the point:

"I know how all of you feel about me going, and I know that I'm not going to be able to. But if you're not back in a week, Hermione, I'm going looking for you. I've already lost Charlie, I'm close to losing Ron as well and Harry had been kidnapped and could be dead by now, for all that we know. If I lose you too.. You are my best friend, Hermione, and I just couldn't do that.".

Staring speechlessly at Ginny, Hermione didn't know what to say. Instead she pulled Ginny into a hug, whispering in a shaking voice: "I promise you, I'll be careful and do whatever I can to get Harry back. I promise.". Squeezing her slightly, Ginny let go and said, her voice determinedly cheerful: "Why don't I help you pack a few things?".

* * *

Standing in the Great Hall, Severus impatiently waited for Hermione to return from her chambers, ignoring the Headmaster's obvious attempts to catch his eye and the nervous expressions on the faces of Hermione's parents. Barely 15 minutes had passed, but Severus' patience was quickly waning.

_If she wants to go after them that badly, she ought to hurry up. Every second counts._

Crossing his arms, he tried not to think about what he would do once they were alone together. All of his plans were gone, no longer did he have the opportunity to just stay away from her, just ignore her, and pretend that anything had ever happened. No longer did he have the opportunity to pretend that he hadn't hurt her.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look at John Granger. "Yes?", Severus said, not allowing his annoyance to reach his voice. "I just wanted to say-", Hermione's father began, "-that I know you'll do what you can to keep Hermione safe. But as her father, I have to say this: Take care of her.". Without another word, he turned and walked back to his wife, leaving Severus to stare frowning after him.

At last, Hermione appeared at the top of the marble staircase and hurried toward them, followed by Ginny Weasley. "Finally..", he mumbled, thankfully overheard by the others. Pulling on the heavy cloak he had been holding in his hands, Severus stepped toward the door, ready to leave as soon as Hermione had said her farewells.

"Ms. Granger.. Hermione. Be careful, and do your best, my dear.", the Headmaster said, the twinkle in his eyes gone. Leaning down to her ear, he whispered something to which she nodded, and he turned to Severus. Allowing Hermione some privacy to say her farewells to her parents and he friend, he said: "Be careful as well, Severus. She _is_ an adult, but she's still somewhat unstable emotionally. If I had any other choice, I would do what ever it took to keep her here. Just take care of her, and remember that she's not your student anymore.".

Severus' sharp retort was interrupted as Hermione walked over to them and said: "I'm ready to leave.". Sending Dumbledore a last annoyed glance, he nodded sharply and walked out of the door. Hermione followed after him. Walking down the long lane to the castle gates, neither of them said a word until they were of Hogwarts' grounds and he turned to look at her.

"So, Ms. Granger. Cast your Tracing Charm, and let us see where it takes us.".

* * *

The Tracing Charm worked in such a way, that it created a link to a place close to the charmed object, allowing the caster to apparate to this place and thereafter search the area. After Hermione had cast the charm, they had both apparated to where the charm had led them, and ended up on the edge of a moderately sized forest. Looking around them, Hermione frowned. She had no idea where they had landed. The only thing she could see was the deep dark of the trees in front of them, and a field behind them.

_Where on earth is this?_

"Do you know where we are?", she asked, glancing at Severus. He stared straight ahead of them, the pale light of the moon above giving his dark eyes an eerie flicker. Slowly shaking his head, he frowned a bit before turning to look at her. "I can only assume.. I know nothing for certain. It does not matter, anyway, the important thing is that we are here.".

Hermione nodded and turned her eyes toward the forest. It looked foreboding, and an unexplainable feeling of anxiety crept up on her. Determinedly squaring her shoulders, she put on a brave front and said: "We should get going.". He nodded. "Yes. I doubt it matters what direction we take in the forest, the wards they are certain to have cast will cover such a large area, that we will inevitably come across them.".

Hermione nodded and briskly walked forward, holding her wand up high, and was swiftly followed by Severus.

Side by side, they slowly made their way through the trees. The feeling of anxiety had left Hermione, but both of them kept as quiet as possible. The only thought in Hermione's mind was to get to Harry as soon as possible, and it was this thought that kept her moving.

_And it _is_, in some way, nice to have someone else with me.._

Several times Hermione nearly tripped over roots and fallen branches, and every time Severus would caught her before she fell, easily keeping her on her feet. Though feeling rather grateful about him preventing her from falling, Hermione couldn't help but being slightly embarrassed every time it happened.

_This must be one of the oddest things happening in a long time.. I'm in the middle of a forest with Severus Snape, my former Potions Professor, searching for one of my best friends. And I don't know what to think about that._

When they had been walking for about two hours, they reached a small clearing surrounded by thick oak trees, and stopped on the edge of it. The thick canopy of leaves above them had until then hid the moon from them. Now, the moonlight poured down onto the ground, the pale light beautiful in the still air of the night.

"Perhaps we should get some rest before we continue on?", Severus suggested, and Hermione gratefully nodded. Not wanting to complain, she had bit back the pain in her back and feet. As she lowered herself to the ground with a grateful little sigh, Severus began to laugh, a rich, baritone laughter. Her head snapped up.

"What on earth are you laughing at?", she said, a slight irritation apparent in her voice. Severus regarded her with an amused glint in his eyes and said: "You are such a typical Gryffindor. It is at least half an hour since you began wincing at every other step you took, but instead suggesting we rest, you simply continued _bravely._".

Hermione suddenly couldn't hold back a laugh of her own. Despite the rather snide comment, his laughter was catching and she could not deny that there was some truth in what he had said. Giving her a surprised glance, Severus flicked his wand twice and a small fire appeared in front of them, cackling merrily.

A thought occurring to her, Hermione frowned as she looked into the fire. "Is it safe to light a fire in here? I mean, we can't really know how close to the Death Eaters we are, can we?".

"We do not know how far away from us they are, but it will be safe enough. We would have discovered some of their wards if we were close enough to be caught, and I have just put a strong ward on this clearing. We will be alerted immediately if anyone comes within ten feet of the ward.", he said and sat down next to her.

_I wonder how Harry is doing.. Is he alright? Is he even alive? _

Pushing the thought away from her, Hermione turned her face slightly toward Severus, watching him out of the corners of her eyes. He was gazing into the fire, looking pensive.

_Does he really remember everything? Everything about.. us? Even the details, every one of them?_

Still contemplating the dark man beside her, Hermione visibly jumped as his silky voice sounded next to her. "Are you going to ask whatever it is that is on your mind, or simply continue your discreet gazing?". Opening her mouth to speak, she cut herself off and turned her head to stare into the flames.

_I cannot ask him.._

"Apparently not.", he sighed. The next couple of minutes slowly passed, both of them gazing into the fire. Then, suddenly, Severus jumped to his feet, pointing his wand toward the darkness of the trees in front of him. "What is it?", Hermione asked, jumping to her feet as well. Without a word, Severus began moving toward the tree, his eyes fixed on something. Hermione followed behind him.

As they inched closer, she held her breath and squinted through the darkness. It took her a few seconds to adjust her eyes from the brightness of the flames to the darkness of the trees, and another couple of seconds passed before she saw what had caught Severus' attention. A small patch of something white was visible on the ground.

"What is that?", Hermione mumbled, looking at Severus. He was still staring at it and didn't respond. "Severus?", she asked, frowning at his continued silence. Opening her mouth to speak again, she was cut off as Severus took a step closer and said: "Larisa?". His voice was oddly doubtful, and Hermione frowned at him.

Still keeping his eyes on the patch of white, Severus said: "Larisa? Eto Vy? ". A weak screech answered him, and he hurried forward so abruptly that it made Hermione jump. He bend down to the white spot and took it in his arms, bringing it to the fire while he mumbled under his breath: "CHto Vy delayete zdes'? Vy holodny, uzhasno holodny. Ogon' budet teplyj Vy. Kak dolgo Vy puteshestvovali?". He seemed oblivious to Hermione and sat down at the fire.

_What on earth is going on?_

Sitting down next to him, Hermione stared at the bundle of white in his arms. It was a falcon; a beautiful, white falcon, and Hermione suddenly remembered the previous night on the Astronomy Tower. This looked exactly like the falcon she had seen just twenty-four hours earlier, and she gaped open-mouthed at it as Severus began examining its wings. "Vashe krylo slomano.", he muttered, then stilled his movements.

A small scroll of paper was tied to the falcon's leg, and Severus took it off, opened it and read it. Sitting still as a statue, he didn't move for several minutes. Hermione looked at him, her concern growing for each passing moment. His motionless face looked eerie in the flickering light of the flames and a small shudder ran though her body.

"Severus? What's going on?", she finally asked. Giving a small start, Severus turned around and looked at her, a confused glance in his eyes for a second. His face still frozen, he reached out his hand and dropped the scroll of paper into Hermione's hand, tapped it with his wand and mumbled: "Reddo epistula".

Looking at the paper, Hermione saw a neat handwriting in Cyrillic letters shimmer and then change. Frowning, she skimmed over the letter.

"_Samyj dorogoj Miša._

_Eto bylo takoye dolgoye vrem'a, tak kak my govorili, chto ya ne znayu, navern'aka chto napisat' Vam bol'she. YA nadeyus', chto Vy prostite mne za moyu dlinnuyu tishinu, no ya prosto ne mog perenesti, chtoby dumat' o dorozhke, kotoruyu Vy vybrali tak mnogo let nazad, i ya dumal eto luchshe, yesli ya otvorachivals'a ot Vas._

_YA teper' znayu, chto Vy s teh por vozvratilis', i nichto ne ponravilos' mne bol'she, moyemu mal'chiku. Poskol'ku Vy mozhete predpolozhit' ot etogo, ya bol'she ne izhdivenec na vashem otce dl'a informacii. Vash otec mertv, Miša. YA znayu, chto eto budet pomosch''u dl'a Vas, i ya poetomu ne vizhu nikakoj prichiny dl'a savana soobscheniye. Eto - pomosch' dl'a men'a, takzhe. Byt' svobodnym ot yego vliyaniya._

_YA znayu to, chto Vy skazali by, stoyali li Vy peredo mnoj teper', slysha men'a skazat' te slova vmesto seing ih zapisannyj. No on byl moim bratom, i ya ne mog povernut' moyu spinu na obeschanii, kotoroye ya dal nashej dorogoj materi, À nna, vashej babushke. YA ne mog ostavit' yego samostoyatel'no, i ya znayu, chto Vy ne ponimayete. No eto - staroye obsuzhdeniye, i net nikakoj prichiny nachat' eto snova._

_S nadezhdoj Vy budete sposobny prostit' mne v techeniye vseh teh let slabosti, i ya nadeyus', chto Vy prostite mne za to, chto ya ne ne podderzhivayem Vas, kogda Vy nuzhdalis' v etom bol'she vsego. YEsli Vy mozhete, pisat' mne skoro. V protivnom sluchaye togda ya sdelayu popytku. Tol'ko znajte, chto ya l'ubl'u, kak byli Vy moj sobstvennyj syn._

_YA nadeyus', chto Vy vedete schastlivuyu zhizn', Miša. Vy zasluzhivayete etogo._

_Tet'a Sìma._".

"Severus.. I don't understand..", Hermione whispered, her voice faltering when she looked up at him. The expression in his eyes was still as unreadable as ever, but a silent tear was running down his cheeks. Struck by this sight, Hermione was overwhelmed with an intense feeling she couldn't quite decipher. A lump rising in her throat, she stared at him, not knowing what to say. Finally, Severus broke the silence: "It is a letter from my aunt.".

"Your aunt?". He nodded, took a deep breath and said: "She wrote to tell me my father is dead.". Feeling immensely sorry for him and she hurriedly said: "I'm sorry, it must be difficult to hear such a thing-".

"Spare your pity.". Snapping back into his usual façade, he sneered: "I do not need your pity, a despicable man such as he does not deserve it.".

_Despicable? What-_

Jumping to his feet, Severus voice rose as he spat: "He was a bloody bastard who should have died many years ago! Destroying the lives of everyone around him, always causing damage to others. He never cared about anyone but himself!". Stopping in his tracks, he glared down at her.

"But you probably know all of that, do you not? Potter has already told you what he saw, _of course_ he has. Did he also tell how my father killed my mother? Did he also tell you how he manipulated my aunt, how he made me turn to Darkness? Did your precious friend tell you that?!".

_What –Harry? What-_

Hermione stared wide-eyed at the man in front of her, shuddering at the palpable tension in the air. His eyes flashing, his face contorted in rage and his hands curled into fists, he scared her more than he had ever done; for that endless second she was terrified of him. Severus froze, staring at her with horror in his eyes. "I- I am.. sorry, I.. did not..", he stammered, stopping as his eyes fell on the large falcon sitting at his feet.

"Are you okay?", Hermione asked, still keeping her eyes on him. He sank down next to her. The falcon gave a small screech and he turned his gaze to it, stroking the white, black-specked feathers lightly. The tension slowly abated.

"Have you ever seen a falcon such as this one before, Hermione?", he suddenly asked. "Yes, yesterday. One exactly like this.", she said, unsure of where the conversation was headed. "Really?". His eyebrows rose and he looked down at the falcon while mumbling: "Do chego Vy byli?". His gaze again settling on Hermione, he said: "It probably was this one, Larisa. She belongs to my family.".

"She is very beautiful... I have always liked falcons, actually. They have always fascinated me. Sometimes I wished that I could just fly away with them, away from everything." Hermione smiled sadly at him. "You probably think that's crazy.".

"No.". Severus looked at her, his eyes narrowed, and she was suddenly acutely aware of how intense his deep, black eyes were. Losing herself in his gaze, she was slightly startled when he spoke again: "I know what you mean. When I was growing up, Larisa was one of the few good things in my life. Apart from my aunt, she was the _only_ good thing in my life.".

Dumbfounded, Hermione didn't know what to say. Opening her mouth to speak, she stopped herself, uncertain of how to ask what she wanted to know the most. Instead Hermione looked at the large falcon, smiling as it turned its sharp eyes toward her. Slowly stretching her hand out, she let her fingers graze the white feathers slightly while silence enveloped them. "Why do you not just ask the question I know is on your mind?", Severus finally said, breaking that silence.

"Pardon me?".

"I know you want to ask about my _childhood_.". A sneering emphasis was placed on the last word and Hermione involuntarily smiled, surprised as a similar smile grazed Severus' lips. "Fine then, how was your childhood?", she asked, smirking slightly.

"It is not as exciting as you may think, Hermione.", he said. "I lived with my parents at our mansion in Siberia, until my mother died when I was five. My father and I moved to England to live with his sister. She is a very caring and wise woman, and I suppose she became a kind of mother to me. When I went to Hogwarts, my father brought her back to Russia, and I rarely spoke with them again.".

"I see.", Hermione mumbled, frowning at him. "Severus.. If you don't mind my asking.. What did you mean with the things you said earlier about your father?".

Keeping her eyes on him, Hermione watched as his expression went from sad to furious, and then to speculative. Frowning, he stared into the flames. "My father.. He was not a very patient man. Both myself and my mother, and later my aunt, where often on the receiving end of his wrath.". Turning to look at her, Severus frown grew. "I do not even know why I am telling you this.".

_The Death Eaters.. It must have been why.._

"Severus.. If you don't want to tell me, it's alright. I'm just.. I'm just curious.". Hesitating, Hermione turned her eyes away from him. "Did you become a Death Eater because of your father? As a sort of revenge?".

Silence fell. Feeling his eyes on her, Hermione eventually looked back at him. The look in his eyes were an odd mixture of calculation and surprise, and she felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Defiantly, she forced herself to look into his eyes. "Yes.", he whispered. "I wanted knowledge to defeat him, to avenge everything he ever did to me, to my mother and my aunt.".

Holding his gaze, she whispered: "Then what happened to make you turn back?". Severus' face remained impassive, but she could see that tears were gathering in the corners of his eyes. Drawing a steadying breath, Hermione stared at him. A unidentifiable feeling arose in her; not pity but something else.

Seemingly struggling with his voice, Severus whispered: "I found out that my father was a Death Eater as well. He had killed my mother on the command of the Dark Lord.". A single tear fought its way out of his eyes and slowly trailed down the pale skin. Hermione was overwhelmed by the sheer sight of a man who was usually completely in control, usually completely self-restrained, but whose soul was now laid open to her.

Before she could stop herself, she had pulled him into her arms. Staring up at the moon, she held him as tightly as she could, her own tears streaming freely as he clung to her like a drowning man to a log.

_Why does one person have to suffer so much?_


	12. Finding the Death Eaters

A/n: _LosOjoDeLaVida:_ Thank you. This update hopefully wasn't too late.

_Natsuyori:_ Thanks. I hope you like this, too.

_Silver Butterfly 04:_ Thanks.

_Vickie211:_ I really hoped my version of Hermione's parents turned out well, so that's really nice to hear. Yes, I too hope Severus does, but we'll just have to wait and see ;)

_PinkMonkeyPirate:_ Thanks.I'm really curious, what made you guess that?

_IvyLilac:_ Thanks.

A/n2: I forgot to say in the last chapter, but the letter Severus received and the 'conversations' he has with Larisa is supposed to be Russian. Please correct me if you see any mistakes.

Reviews are really great, so if you have constructive criticism, questions or just a comment, I would very much like to hear from you. It really makes me happy.

Thank you to all of my faithful readers and/or reviewers. Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your support.

Additional a/n at the bottom.

Disclaimer: Plot's mine, everything else isn't. Credit goes to J.K. Rowling, and also a little to Pink Floyd.

**Unexpected feelings -12**

It took Severus a couple of minutes to realize where he was. Squinting through the dim light of dawn, he groaned slightly and closed his eyes, savoring the silence of daybreak. Feeling comfortably warm, he snuggled closer to the source of the warmth.

His eyes snapped open.

Lying next to him, encircled by his arms and pressed against his chest, was Hermione Granger. The shock of this realization froze him for several seconds before the panic overrode, and he very nearly jumped to his feet. Staring at the young woman, sleeping in _his_ arms, his thoughts whirled around in his head.

_What the hell happened last night?_

Forcing himself to calm down, he gently extricated himself from Hermione and climbed to his feet. Frowning down at her, he took of his cloak and wrapped it around her. Walking to the edge of the protected clearing, Severus stared into the dark trees, his mind a chaos of questions.

_How did it come so far? How could I tell her those things?_

Severus speculated those questions. He could barely remember what he had said, only that the sight of Larisa, the white gyrfalcon, and the accompanying letter had shocked him so thoroughly that he had not been able to keep his head clear of the many repressed memories. He had always associated the falcon with security and peace, had thought the sight of her sheer beauty and those feelings long lost to him.

When the crushing weight of so many years filled with one atrocity after the other had overwhelmed his mind, normally kept so controlled that such an incident would have been unthinkable, when his world was drowning in darkness and despair, Hermione had been there. A single ray of hope in the pitch-black interior of his soul.

_Why do I trust her, when I cannot even trust myself?_

Another puzzling question to which he didn't know the answer. The ability to trust had never come easy to him, and he had always been very careful about who he trusted. But now, it seemed, this girl had worked her way into his small list of people he would ensure his life with.

He was not able to hold back a snort. "Since when has a muggle-born Gryffindor ever been worthy of the trust of a Slytherin?", he sneered, but his voice was without conviction. He knew very well that he _did_ trust, no matter how much he wanted to deny it. His subconscious had clearly showed him when he had broken down in front of her.

Suddenly angry with himself, Severus jumped to his feet.

_How dare she do this to me? How dare she worm her way into my brain like that, to fool me into believing her to be sincere? How dare I let this happen? How dare I let her put herself in danger like that??_

A patch of white suddenly appeared over the trees. Warily keeping an eye on the steadily growing spot, Severus breathed a sigh of relief when the outlines of a white falcon became visible. Landing on his outstretched arm, the falcon gave a soft screech. "Privet, Larisa. Horoshij videt' Vas snova."

Frowning, Severus suddenly remembered something. "Kto ispravl'al vashe krylo? ZHdat'.. Hermione.".

Whipping around, Severus stared at the sleeping form of Hermione. He had not mended Larisa's broken wing the previous night, and now the falcon was flying around. Only she could have done. He turned his confused stare to the falcon.

_How could she..? Larisa has never allowed anyone from outside the family to touch her…_

Hermione suddenly stirred in her sleep and Severus turned back, not wanting to have her catch him staring at her. Deciding to let her sleep a little longer, Severus sent Larisa off to Hogwarts and began making breakfast.

* * *

The lovely smell of bacon reached Hermione's nose. Far too comfortable to get up, she didn't move, but the delicious smell was hard to resist. Finally deciding to at least open her eyes, she let her sleepy gaze fall on the figure in front of her.

Severus Snape was sitting next to a small fire, his back half-way turned on her, a pan with bacon and a small kettle on the fire. He seemed to be deep in thought, and she didn't want to startle him. Instead she regarded him through half-closed eyes.

_It is hard to believe that a man who is usually in control and rather cruel, can be so vulnerable, just because of a falcon._

She knew that it was much more than just the beautiful falcon. Judging by what she could gather from his explanation the previous night, he had been through unusually much in his childhood, and his adult life must have been just as bad. For him to tell her those things, to trust her enough, was almost unbelievable.

But he had.

He had trusted her with information he must consider a danger to him, something so deeply personal and intimate that he had probably never told anyone the entire story. She was now in possession of a deeper understanding of a man she had always defended, a man who she had always believed to hold more than met the eye.

The thought scared her. How was she supposed to react now? What was she supposed to say, to do? There was no doubt in her mind that he would refuse compassion or well-intended words. But she had to say something, her silence might be just as bad.

Severus suddenly turned around and looked at her. A small smile graced her lips as she said: "Good morning. The breakfast smells nice.". A small smile flickered past his face, and she sat up slowly. Something black slipped of her shoulders and she stared at it.

He had covered her with his cloak. Whipping her head back to stare at him, she saw that he had turned back to the fire, not noticing her gaze. A half-remembered memory, forgotten by a sleepy mind, suddenly floated into her mind. A few rays of sunlight on the horizon, a strong pair of arms around her, and then a cloak gently being wrapped around her.

_A dream or a memory?_

"Apparently a memory, I wouldn't have been sleeping under his cloak otherwise... We slept in each other's arms?", Hermione mumbled.

"Excuse me?". The voice came from Severus. He was looking at her, apparently thinking she had been talking to him. Shooting him a half-smile she said: "Oh, nothing.. Just hungry.". He nodded and turned back to the fire. Frowning slightly at his back, Hermione tried to gather her thoughts and figure out what she felt.

_How did we end up like that? Why am I disappointed about not remembering it?_

Shaking her head, Hermione got to her feet. It was far too early to think about such matters, and her stomach loudly declared that it had been too long since her last meal. Walking over to the fire, Hermione decided that she would wait a little with her questions about the previous night.

A searing pain suddenly lanced through her entire body and she fell to the ground, screaming and convulsing. All thoughts were gone from her mind, the only thing that existed was the overwhelming, overpowering pain, and her vision slowly faded.

* * *

He could barely remember a time in his life where he had been more afraid than when Hermione fell screaming to the ground. Severus rushed to her side while pulling out his wand, his heart beating wildly in his chest and panic threatening to overtake him completely.

Glancing around him to detect any signs of a breach of the wards, Severus held on tightly to her. Nothing was visible, but he held on securely to his wand still. A violent tremor ran through her body and a half-shriek escaped her lips, and then she slumped limply against him.

"Hermione?". His voice was even, but only just. Giving her a slight shake, he repeated her name. Still no response. Ignoring the voice in his mind that mercilessly screamed that she was dead, he laid her down on the ground and mumbled: "Ennervate.".

Hermione groaned slightly and slowly opened her eyes. Staring up at him, she seemed to have a little trouble focusing on him. "Severus?", she mumbled, her voice weak and insecure as she asked: "What happened?". She tried to sit up.

"Relax, do not try to get up.". Grabbing her wrist, Severus found her pulse and sighed; it was clear and strong. "How are you feeling?". She frowned slightly and again tried to sit up, held down by Severus. "I –I don't know..", she finally said.

_It had all the symptoms of the Cruciatus, but how on earth is that possible? There is no one here to cast it._

Murmuring different spells to ensure that she had no injuries, Severus cast another look around him and still saw no one. Hermione seemed to become more awake with every minute that passed, and she was soon completely alert. Finally allowing her to sit up, Severus looked her in the eye, ignored the odd look that passed across her face for a moment and asked: "Do you know what happened?".

She slowly shook her head, but then froze and looked up at him with surprise in eyes. "The Charm! That must have been it, I must somehow have felt when –oh no..". Her eyes suddenly filled with tears as she whispered: "Harry..".

A curious feeling spread in Severus. He had an odd feeling that he ought to know what it was, but for some reason he did not want to. There were certain aspects of himself he didn't want to know to about, and this seemed to belong in that category. Forcing his face into a neutral expression, he asked: "What are you talking about?".

Horror had filled her eyes and she took a deep breath before saying: "It must have been the Charm. I remember reading it somewhere..".

She stared into space for little while and then continued, apparently quoting from a book: "…'A less common side-effect of this particular charm is a virtual bond between the caster and the person bearing the charmed object. In cases where the caster and aforementioned person have a strong emotional bond, such as being in relationship or a close friendship with each other, the caster will often know if the aforementioned person is suffering great pain, fear or anger. It will either manifest itself as a vision or by inflicting the same emotion on the caster.' That must be it..".

She turned to face him and said, her voice eager: "I must have felt Harry being tortured, Severus. Oh, no.. They used Cruciatus on him, didn't they?". Nodding curtly, Severus said: "Yes. That would be most logical to assume.". Getting to his feet, Severus turned back to the fire with the forgotten breakfast next to it.

He could feel Hermione's eyes on his back but stayed silent, only looking at her when he handed her a plate of food and ignoring the feeling that he ought to say something to her. Quickly finishing his breakfast, he waited for her to finish hers and then turned to face her.

"We ought to get going. Do you have any ideas as to how we first find, and then gain access, to where ever your friend is being held?". Something in his tone of voice made her look questioningly at him for a second before saying: "Well, actually, I've been thinking about something. I don't suppose it's possible for us to sneak onto the ground, so we will have to enter openly.".

_Enter an area with Death Eaters _openly

Severus snorted derisively. "And how do you propose we do that?". She furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to speak, stopping as she seemed to remember something. Instead she gave him another odd look, and then continued: "If either one of us is seen alone, we would be killed. But if we arrive together, we will be able to fool them. We just have to say that you have taken me as a prisoner to prove your loyalty.".

This time it was Severus who stopped with his mouth half-way open. His first instinct was to sneer at her again, but the plan was actually not that bad. It was certainly risky, foolhardy and extremely dangerous, a typical plan coming from a Gryffindor, but she was right in assuming that there was virtually no way to sneak onto the grounds.

_But am I able to protect her from the danger? What will happen if one of them catches her alone?_

"No.". The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it, but it was none the less true. The promise he had made to her father, and subsequently to him himself, about keeping her safe was making it impossible for him to accept such a daring plan. Unflinching, he watched as the anger quickly took her over.

"Why not?", she asked, her voice unnaturally low. Looking her straight in the eye, he kept his façade clear and said: "It is far too dangerous. I cannot allow you to put yourself in such a situation.".

She jumped to her feet, her hands curled into fists by her side. Anger seemed to make it difficult for her to breath. With a scourging expression she said: "You have no right to decide over me! What would you do once we found the place? That we would wait and hope that they'd just give him to us? As soon as we find him, I'm going in. With or without you, I don't need you to get in –it will only make things a bit easier for me!".

Her words hit him as if she had slapped him. Slowly rising to his feet, Severus took a step closer to her. His face was still passive, but he could see that her expression faltered a little as a result of the smoldering flames in his eyes and the close proximity. Taking full advantage of his height, he straightened up slightly and sneered: "And what would _you_ do when the Death Eaters got a hold of you? When they tortured, raped and then murdered you, presumably in front of your precious friend? When there was no one to protect you, and Potter broke down at the sight of his mauled friend?".

A pained expression crossed her features briefly and he continued: "There is no doubt, Ms. Granger, that is what they will do to you if you arrive alone. They will not wait to hear what you have to say, your pleas would only make them more ruthless. Believe me, I know. I was, after all, one of them, and being kind to prisoners is not a common practice in those circles.". His voice faltered slightly at the last words, and he took a deep breath.

_Dear Merlin, what have I done?_

Tears slowly gathered in his eyes, and Severus did not know what to do. For a long moment they only stared at each other, the anger disappearing from both of them. Then, closing her eyes briefly, Hermione took a deep breath and whispered: "That is why I want you with me. I trust you, Severus, and I really think my plan could work.".

"Even if I was with you, you could risk those things happened to you. I will do what I can to protect you, but I cannot keep you from facing the Dark Lord, or from being thrown into a cell. I am not able to keep you completely safe, Hermione.", Severus said, staring into her eyes and willing her to understand the danger of her rash plan.

"I know. I know what can happen to me, but doesn't the fact that I'm here, in this forest, prove that I am willing to take that risk for a friend? That I will do what I can to save him?". She took a step closer, making her stand close enough for him to feel the warmth of her body, and looked him in the eye.

"Hermione..". He gently traced her jaw with his thumb. "I do not agree with this plan, but I am not going to let you go alone. I will do anything within my power to keep you safe. If you are determined to go through with this, no matter how foolish it is, I have no choice but to follow you.".

"Thank you. I really want to save Harry.", she said. Nodding curtly, Severus took a step back and said: "Then we ought to get going.". Turning around, he gathered the few things they had with them, and they started their quest to find the hide-out of the Death Eaters.

* * *

Why she had come up with a plan to walk into the middle of a place filled Death Eaters, bound and wandless, Hermione would never remember. All she knew was that she had suggested it in the spur of a moment. At first she thought that it was simply because she desperately wanted to find Harry. Despite the truth in that, she also knew that there was something more in it, something else entirely. Her Gryffindor courage, her overworked emotions, or, just maybe, her trust in Severus.

They had walked for about two hours when she had suddenly felt an odd pull of some sort, a feeling deep down that made her certain they were close to Harry. Not two minutes after, Severus had stopped and said that he could feel strong wards close by. Hiding behind a shrubbery, they had spotted several Death Eater-guards and planned the details of their next actions.

When they had entered the grounds, they had quickly been spotted by several guards. Pointing his wand at them, Severus had held them at bay long enough to explain his intention, and they had been led to a small cottage. It had seemed nice enough from the outside, had it not been for the aura of something forbidden that surrounded the area.

While waiting in a small room, Hermione discreetly watched Severus without the guard noticing. His reaction when she told him about her plan had, on some points, been as she had expected. But what she had not expected was for him to have that odd look in his eyes, betraying an unidentifiable emotion. She wanted, almost desperately, to know what it had been, but she had not dared to attempt to find it out. It had also seemed like he had wanted to forget everything that had happened the previous night, and she did not want to intrude on his privacy.

The door to the room opened and a tall man entered. Silently gesturing for them to follow, he led them out of the room and down a small corridor. A rickety, wooden staircase at the end led them into a dark dungeon, and the Death Eater soon stopped in front of a heavy, wooden door.

Hermione forced herself to keep as calm as she could, but could not hold a small shudder of fear away. Holding her head up high, she ignored the vicious shoves the guard gave her as he untied the ropes and pushed her into the cell. The door slammed shut behind her, eliciting a loud bang, and she heard two pairs of footsteps move away from her.

The darkness was complete. Not able to see a single thing, Hermione stood frozen to the spot. Her eyes slowly got used to the darkness, and after a little while she could see a small cot by the rough stone wall and a bucket in the corner. Lowering herself onto the cot, she stared into the darkness.

_Completely alone._

She had not expected the absence of Severus to be this horrible. Now, more than ever, did she realize that he made her feel safe, and protection was exactly the thing she needed now. Mentally scolding herself, she muttered in the darkness: "Stop thinking in that way.. This was _your_ idea, and Severus is still around.".

_But what if he gets killed as soon as Voldemort hears he's returned, or if they don't believe him?_

Shaking her head to rid herself of that little voice in her head, Hermione curled up on the small cot, damp and cold. Willing herself to fall asleep, to escape the horrible reality for a little while, she repeated the same mantra over and over in her mind:

_We're going to be alright.. We'll be able to fool them, we're going to be alright.. We're going to be alright…_

* * *

His mind was carefully kept clear of all thoughts of his betrayal and his face was impassive. The many years of spying had taught Severus to kept his wits about him when he was faced with the Dark Lord, but he had a hard time making his heart stop its violent tattoo against his Adam's apple.

The cold, red eyes of his former Master turned to him and he immediately fell to the ground. "Master.. I know I have been accused of the most horrible actions, but I assure you that the allegations toward me are not true. I am here now to prove that.".

The adrenaline was rushing through his veins as he spoke, every instinct telling him that they were going to be killed any minute now, that he would never see Hogwarts again, that he would be responsible for the death of Hermione. His mind still forced clear, Severus slowly raised his head and stared into the red eyes. A split-second of dread passed as Voldemort did nothing. Then, suddenly, he began to laugh.

The laughter made Severus' blood freeze. It was a sound he had heard many times before, but it still made him shiver if he did not keep his body under strict control. It was a high laughter without the smallest sign of the things normally associated with laughter, without any joy or happiness. It was filled only with malice and contempt, and overpowering evil.

"And you have brought Potter's little Mudblood to us.. As a token of your loyalty, I assume?", he asked, keeping his eyes on Severus as he awaited his answer. "Yes, my Lord. It will break Potter to know that his precious _friend_ is dead. Dead because he believes himself to be above you, my Lord.", he snarled, forcing as much contempt for Potter as possible into it.

Nodding slowly, the Dark Lord said: "Yes. It will break him. Very clever of you, Severus, very clever indeed. But, despite your clever little plan, I must say that you have not convinced me completely.".

Severus' heart gave a great leap of horror, which he forcefully ignored, and he immediately began to deny his treachery. The one recurrent thought in his mind was firmly pushed back, shielded from the prying eyes of his enemy and former Master standing before him.

_We are going to die. He will kill us._

Voldemort's voice suddenly cut through his rambling. "Silence!", he roared. The already still Death Eaters around them froze, and nothing was heard until the Dark Lord slowly walked forward to stand in front of Severus. "Stand up.", he hissed.

Scrambling to his feet, Severus held his head bowed, not trusting himself to keep the hatred from shining out of them. Several tense seconds passed. Then, slowly, the Dark Lord held out his hand. He grabbed Severus' arm and rolled up the sleeve, Severus biting his tongue to prevent himself from jerking his arm away from the inevitable to come.

_Not this –how can I protect her if-_

Severus barely heard the cry of terror coming from the doorway as Voldemort held his finger to the Dark Mark on his arm. The searing pain invaded all of him, overpowering his weak body, and he fell unconscious to the ground.

* * *

Hermione had been woken some time later, rather abruptly, and the silent guard had taken her to the same, small room they had waited in some time before. Dreading what might be to come, she kept her head up high and didn't flinch as the guard again gave her a vicious shove into the room.

Her façade nearly fell when she saw who was in the room.

Lucius Malfoy sat in a chair in the middle of the room, and the smile he sent her stopped the breath in her throat. He slowly rose from the chair and walked toward her, his wand casually held in his right hand. Stopping mere inches from her, he said: "So, we meet again, Mudblood.". His voice slithered around her like snake, leaving her numb with fear.

_What the hell is he doing here? How could he have escaped Hogwarts, I stunned him –someone ought to have found him before he awoke.._

She forced herself to remain impassive, and didn't even acknowledge him by looking at him. Slowly circling her as a predator, he sneered: "I'm going to make you pay. _No_ Mudblood attacks me without consequences.". Stopping in front of her, he grabbed her chin and forced her to look into his arrogant eyes.

"I hear from Dolohov that Severus presumably spent his time with you on something else than teaching you to defend yourself, so you should be well prepared for what I have in store for you.".His hand slid around her waist, and suddenly he viciously yanked her toward him.

It was the last straw. Snarling, she pushed him away, spun around and stormed out of the door, pushing her way past the surprised guards. Stumbling down the corridor, she was quickly run down by Lucius Malfoy. With a savage snarl he jumped at her, forcefully knocking her to the ground and pinning her wrists down.

Breathing heavily, his face distorted in rage, he said through clenched teeth: "So you thought you could get away, _did you_?". He shook her violently and leaned closer, breathing her in the face. "I don't think so, bitch. I'll show you what happens when somehow crosses me, I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget-".

He was suddenly cut off as a hand grabbed his robes and yanked him off of her. Shaking slightly, Hermione pushed herself into a sitting position. Standing above her was Rabastan Lestrange, still holding on tightly to Lucius' robes. "Not yet, Lucius,", he said, a slight amusement in his eyes as he looked at her, "-You'll have to wait until the Dark Lord has finished with her. He's requested to see her now.".

Shakily rising to her feet, Hermione leaned against the wall, trying to hide her fear.

_I'll have to see Voldemort.. Oh, no… I hope Severus is there, I really hope he is.._

Lestrange pushed her ahead of him and led her down another corridor, identical to the other. Turning many corners, Hermione soon lost track of where they were going. Instead she kept her eyes on the ground, ignoring the hard grip on her arm. Suddenly thrust forward, Hermione stumbled into a brightly lit room. Getting to her feet, she was unable to hold back a small scream.

Severus was lying on the ground, twisting in pain. Nearly running forward to help him, Hermione managed to hold herself back and stood in the door way, staring at the man on the floor. A cold voice suddenly cut through to her, and she looked up into a red pair of eyes. "A terrible sight, a man being tortured with Cruciatus. Would you not agree?".

Desperately fighting back the overwhelming emotions of fear, hatred, despair and shock, Hermione couldn't speak. She stood face to face with one of the most powerful wizards in the world, so paralyzed of fear that she was unable to even think a coherent thought.

Leering down at her, Voldemort lifted his wand and took off the curse on Severus. Keeping her face as neutral as possible, Hermione looked up at him. "So this is the famous Mudblood. I am, indeed, very pleased at finally meeting you, especially because I have a feeling you could be of immense value to my cause.", he said.

Concentrating hard on remaining still, Hermione focused her attention on a spot just above the Dark Lord's shoulder, not daring to let any of her control slip even the slightest. A small whimper escaped from Severus, who was still lying on the ground, and Hermione fought back the impulse to run to his side and begin sobbing uncontrollably.

_Oh no.. Severus.. Please be alright, I can't stand to go through this again.. Please…_

"Stand up.", snarled Voldemort, and Severus complied, shaking and barely able to stand up straight. Holding his head as high as he could, Severus stammered: "Y-yes, my Lord?". Hermione draw a shuddering breath. A man as powerful and proud as Severus should not be in such a humiliating situation, it somehow seemed to be against everything normal, against nature itself. Gathering her crumbling courage, she kept her face neutral.

"The loving couple reunited again..", mocked Voldemort. Severus' head snapped round to stare at him, and Voldemort turned to face him, an expression that could have passed for politeness on his face, had it not been for the fact that it was on the face of a man so permeated with evil. "Yes?", he said.

"We are not a couple.". Severus' voice was even.

"Really, Severus? Then how do you explain a certain picture taken a month ago, a picture that shows yourself and… _this-_", he gestured towards Hermione, who couldn't hold back an indignant intake of breath, "-in a most compromising situation?".

Keeping his eyes on the Dark Lord, Severus said in the same voice: "The only evidence of a supposed affair is that photograph, and that can be explained, my Lord. The rumor was spread by a student who misinterpreted the photograph.". His face betraying his annoyance, Voldemort sneered: "Well, it had better a good explanation, Severus, but please, enlighten us all.".

_What is he up to?_

"She forced herself on me, I would never touch her if not.". His voice was filled with deadly venom.

The words hit her heart like a dagger thrust into her chest. Fighting back the stream of tears close to pouring forth, Hermione could barely keep her emotions from showing on her face. Trying not to betray the intense hurt, she stared straight ahead of her, a single thought desperately being repeated in her mind:

_He didn't mean it.. He didn't mean it.._

* * *

A/n: _" worm her way into my brain"_ is an obscure reference to "The Wall" by Pink Floyd. One does not spend two months working on the musical without certain side-effects, such as knowing just about every single song by heart and not being able to get them out of ones head.

Can anyone guess what 'curious feeling' Severus is having? I'm wondering about how obvious the answer is, and I'd appreciate it a lot if you guys would leave a suggestion when you (hopefully) review.


	13. Death

A/n: I'm really sorry it has taken this long to finish this chapter. I have been writing as much as I have been able to, but there hasn't been too much time for me, and when I finally got the time I was hit with a rather annoying writer's block. Thank you so much to everyone who has been supportive and helped me out these past few weeks, and thank you very much to my reviewers; your comments mean more to me than you know. Extra thanks goes to JK for revealing the release date and congrats with the new baby.

I expect there will only be one more chapter left. If a plot bunny decides to viciously attack me with a machete I might write more, but I'm not counting on it. Again, I'm sorry it's taken so long to update, but I wanted this to be as good as possible. I'm still not 100 per cent happy about it, but it's improved tremendously from what I started out with. I hope you like it, and please review.

And just so you know, I was sincerely tempted to leave you with a cliff-hanger toward the end of this chapter, but I decided not to.

A/n2: _Evil Penguin slayer_: Thank you.

_Vickie211_: I hope you like this chapter. And yes, you're right about Severus' feelings :)

_Katie_: I think the tribe dance finally helped :)

_Sis_: Thank you, I hope this chapter is thrilling as well.

_Cherdy the Molologist_: Thank you. I sincerely hope you haven't given up on the story, I know how annoying it is to wait for updates.

_sLyThErIn ApPlE_: Thank you. Interesting ideas. Not exactly what happens, but very interesting.

_Natsuyori_: Thank you.

_InsaneMonkeyPirate_: Thanks.

_ms.understood_: Here you are: an update ;) I'll check out your story when I have the time.

Disclaimer: Plot's mine, everything else isn't. Credit goes to J.K. Rowling.

**Unexpected feelings –13**

Waking with a blinding head ache, it took Severus a couple of seconds to realize where he was. The memory of the previous night following with the realization, he groaned slightly and kept his eyes closed a moment longer. When he finally forced himself to open them, he could see nothing.

The room he was in was dark, damp and chilly, the small bed he was sitting on quite uncomfortable. After having watched Hermione's confrontation with the Dark Lord, Severus had been taken down to the same corridor Hermione had been led down, into a room was scarcely better than the cell he knew she was put in. The only difference was that his room wasn't locked.

Staring into space, Severus couldn't get the image of the expression on Hermione's face out of his mind. He had very well known how his explanation to the Dark Lord would affect her, but he had seen no other possibility than to say what he had. Her reaction had been exactly what was needed to make the Dark Lord believe his story.

It had not taken Voldemort long to decide that Severus was telling the truth, helped along by a ransacking of Severus' memories and Hermione's obvious battle against the tears. The Death Eater guards had let them back to the hallway of cells and rooms, and Severus had not dared to even chance a look at the young woman by his side, let alone try to talk with her. The heavy door had closed behind with a resounding slam.

In retrospect, their entire plan was utterly insane. How on earth had he ever let himself be talked into walking in to an area filled with Death Eaters, without any real chance of defending themselves? Though he considered himself to be more than apt at self-defense, it had been foolish and, in all honesty, rather Gryffindor-ish of him to think himself capable of defending both himself, Hermione and eventually Potter against the Dark Lord and at least twenty of his followers.

"Damn it.. Damn it all!", he muttered angrily to himself, jumping to his feet and started pacing. He could feel the anger seething just below the surface, and it took a lot of self-control to keep himself from screaming out loud and banging his head repetitiously against the wall.

_How the hell are we going to get out of this with our lives intact?_

A sudden sound came from the door and he whirled around, imperceptively straightening his back and keeping his mind clear. The door swung open and in strolled Lucius Malfoy. "Hello, Severus.", he said, an insincere politeness in his voice. "So nice to see you again.".

"The pleasure is all mine, Lucius.". Hatred was coursing through him, and his wand-hand was itching.

"I must admit, Severus, that it came as something of a surprise to hear that you had returned. And not just returned, but brought a.. proof of your continued loyalty.". He stopped to give a slight sneer, a malicious glint of amusement in his eyes. "Such a lovely proof you have with you, Severus, so very lovely indeed. I can certainly understand why you chose _that_ to bring with you.".

Severus could hear a faint rushing noise in his ears, and said through clenched teeth: "And what, exactly, do you mean?". It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep still; his entire body and mind itched to jump at the throat the man before him, so unwisely taunting him.

"I simply mean, Severus-", Malfoy Sr. sneered and took a step closer, his eyes a flinty grey, "-that you may have convinced the Dark Lord, but you cannot fool me. I know the truth about you, and I am going to make sure you regret the decision of returning to this place. And once I'm finished with _you…_ Well, lets just say that certain proofs also make very nice rewards-".

Severus reaction was instantaneous. Before he had a chance to think, to consider the damage his reaction could have to their entire plan, he had pulled out his wand and sent a curse hurtling toward Malfoy. Malfoy snarled and jumped out of the way, mere seconds too late. The curse would have hit him straight in the face, had it not been for the sudden flash of blue light enveloping them and absorbing the spell.

A tall, dark form was standing in the doorway, red eyes staring down at them through the darkness of a hood. "Lucius, kindly leave immediately.". The blonde wizard staggered to his feet, hastily bowed and mumbled: "Yes, my Lord, of course my Lord..". Hurrying out of the room, he cast Severus a last hateful look.

Severus dropped to his knees at once. "I apologize, my Lord, but Lucius made certain accusations that I could not-".

"Silence!". The high-pitched voice cut through his explanation. "I am very tempted to kill you right this instant, Severus. I would have expected better from a Death Eater, particularly a Deat Eater who wishes to re-enter my ranks.". Pausing for a second, the Dark Lord took a step closer and Severus could feel the power emanating from him; sheer evil power.

"I am certain that you are aware of the fact that I have _never_before let anyone re-enter my ranks, Severus. I have decided to make an exception of you, but you will not disobey me in the least. You know the consequences if you do.".

Severus mumbled: "Yes, my Lord," and kept his head bowed. After a considerable pause, Voldemort spoke again, this time leaning in to whisper in Severus' ear, making him feel nauseous: "You may not believe this, my dear Potions Master, but I understand far too well the effect young witches can have on a man, pureblood and mudblood alike, and even some muggle women. I will allow you to keep her, as long you do not contaminate the wizarding race with the off-spring such an alliance could produce."

Suddenly straightnening, Voldemort added: "I have no real use of the Mudblood.". Without another word the Dark Lord turned around and walked out of the room, closing the heavy door behind him. Severus stared after him, his mind spinning as he sank onto the bed.

_Of all the ruthless, megalomaniac, diabolical hypocrites to ever have walked this earth.. A madman! _

It was suddenly very clear to him. He had always known that the man –no, not man, such a term could no longer be used to describe the creature that was the Dark Lord –was as mad as he was power-hungry and clever, but the extent of this madness had never been clearer to him than it was right now.

_To hunt down and kill muggles and muggle-borns, and at the same time ask his followers to keep them as… _slaves_ –it is utterly...…I am such a fool to ever have believed.._

Severus shook his head vigorously. Staring into space while pondering the actions of his past self would do him no good. It would have to wait until they had found a way out of the hell-hole they were currently in, until he could figure out a way to find the former students of his, currently being held as prisoners.

Slowly standing up, Severus rubbed his hands over his face in a futile attempt at clearing his mind. Sighing deeply he forced his mind to become clear. He needed to get a hold of himself if he was to find both of former students as soon as possible.

* * *

Walls could be a rather detailed thing, Hermione found out. She had spent several hours staring at the wall beside her bed after she had been brought back to the cell, and had noticed an intricate pattern of scratches and just plain roughness of stone. 

Her mind had been kept clear. For once in her life she had been able to keep unwanted thoughts away, even though it had the small side-effect of making sleep impossible for half the night. Truth be told, she didn't want to sleep. Despite her overwhelming feeling of fatigue, she prefered to be awake, prefered to avoid the danger of letting go of ones conscious self.

It wasn't too odd she prefered it that way. The last many times she had awoken in the previous twenty-four hours had led to unpleasant discoveries or experiences. Being told Harry was missing, coming up with the stupid plan of wandering into the midst of the Death Eaters, being led to Voldemort.. No, not too odd at all.

Hermione's plan had worked for a couple of hours, and then she could no longer resist the drooping of her eyelids.

The dreams she'd had consisted of the nightmares she had been expecting. Waking up after two or three hours of restless dreams, she sat up and resumed her staring at the wall. Only this time it didn't keep away her thoughts.

_I'm never going to see mum or dad again, and I've hardly even given them a thought since we left Hogwarts.. Hardly ever thought about them in several months, actually..._

_Harry's probably going to get killed any minute now.. _

_Ginny will show up soon, and then she'll be taken as a prisoner as well.. If not killed immediately.._

_I wonder how Ron and Professor Lupin are doing? Probably dead as well.._

_Severus will get killed as soon as they discover his betrayal.. His _second _betrayal. Maybe they've already killed him? Why do I even care, it's not as if we ever had anything between us, there's only always been my dreams.. My foolish dreams._

_All of my friends will soon be gone, and mum and dad will probably be the next target anyway.. I have nothing left.._

"They might as well kill me now..", she whispered to the solitary ray of silvery moonlight shining though a small opening, high in the wall above her.

Burying her head in the small blanket, Hermione fell asleep again, crying silently in the darkness.

* * *

Walking out of his small chamber led to the first unpleasant surprise of the evening for Severus. 

He walked almost straight into the man standing outside the door and staggered ungraceciously backwards, knocking the other man to the floor and only just avoiding falling. Opening his mouth to make a sneering comment he cut himself off, a sudden thought of caution stopping him. It wouldn't really be suitable for their plan, foolhardy as it may be, their chances of escaping were small enough without him making new enemies as soon as he met anyone.

Mumbling a hasty reply to the man's muffled curse, Severus hurried off, not bothering to see who he was. A weird feeling of shame suddenly washed over him; he realized that he was running away. Never before in his life had Severus Snape done that; he had always preferred to stand his ground against difficulties.

_Odd how quickly one life can change.._

The dusty hallway was completely empty once Severus had turned a corner and left the man behind. Increasing the speed of his pace he quickly reached the door that he had been led through earlier, emerging into another hallway, identical to the one he had just left.

He hurried along this corridor and then another; then another. Feeling extremely grateful for having a rather good sense of direction, Severus quickly scanned the corridors around him, trying to recall the route he had been led through. He knew the Dark Lord well enough to suspect him for purposefully attempting to confuse anyone sufficiently brave, or stupid, to venture unprepared into seemingly innocuous hallways.

Finally reaching a door Severus carefully pushed it ajar. Peering into the room beyond he saw the large entrance hall, multiple doors on either side of the long, square room. After ensuring himself that the room was, indeed, empty, he slipped through the door.

With a determined air he walked across the room and pushed the first door open.

* * *

The door to her cell suddenly banged open, and Hermione sat up blearily. Rubbing her eyes sleepily she stared at the open doorway where the light was pouring in and blinding her; a hand seized her arm roughly and she was dragged out of the room. Before she had time to even think about protesting, she had been flung into the arms of a man standing outside the door, her arms twisted to her back and a binding spell put on her. 

Stumbling along the corridor, terrified and not entirely awake, Hermione was frantically trying to get her mind to cooperate. The shock of practically being dragged out of bed had left her confused and feling vulnerable, and she had only just shaken off the shock of waking, when she was thrust forward into a room as dark as the hallway was bright.

Landing on her knees she gasped, breathlessly swearing at the sharp pain the hard floor had caused when she landed, it took her a couple of seconds to realize that someone was standing in front of her. Slowly raising her head, her breath caught in her throat.

A red pair of eyes were staring at her.

* * *

Severus nearly gasped out loud at the sight that met him when he entered the room. On the wall opposite the door a gruesome sight met him; Hermione Granger and Harry Potter chained side by side, they clothes full of blood and half-way torn off their bodies. 

"Hermione!", Severus moaned, hurrying forward while pulling out his wand. A sudden bang sounded behind him and he half-turned while running, then suddenly stopping dead in his track. In the split-scond his eyes had left the wall ahead of him, Hermione and Potter had disappeared. It took him a second to realize what must have happened; someone had tricked him.

A low-pitched laughter reached his ears, and Severus slowly turned around to look at the person he suspected having done this. The flinty grey eyes of Lucius Malfoy met his black ones, and the superious smirk alone nearly made him jump at Lucius throat.

Instead he stayed calm, waiting for Lucius to say make the anticipated comments. "So, Severus..", Lucius began, his voice holding an under-current of steel. "So.. You really are prepared to go a long way to save her. I expected as much, but it is always nice to have ones suspicions confirmed.". The amusement in his voice was even more pronounced than usual, and the normally calm eyes had a flicker of madness in them; the sight of which made Severus feel oddly off-balance.

_A sane Lucius Malfoy is bad enough to deal with.._

Slowly advancing on Severus, with a remarkable resemblance to a predator, Lucius hissed in a low voice: "All those years being around Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers must have made you soft, my friend. The Severus Snape I used to know would never have fallen that easily for a trap.. And you should have known better, Severus; you should have known better than to allow a filthy Mudblood as her to even come near you."

Before he realized what he was doing, Severus had jumped forward, his wand at Lucius throat before the other man had a chance to react. The grey eyes stared at him for an endless second; the blank face dissolved and a smirk appeared. "Did you really think I had not foreseen this possibility? I am protected by more spells than you have time to figure out, and when you finally break through them all, I will have had time to curse you into oblivion. So I suggest you lower your wand.".

Knowing Lucius Malfoy, Severus suspected him to tell the truth. But he did not want to take his chances, and instead of lowering his arm he took a step back and mumbled: "Incarcerous.". Nothing happened. Grinding his teeth Severus mumbled the incantation again, with the same result. Forcing his temper down he took a deep breath.

Finally lowering his arm his wand, he gave Lucius a contemptuous look and said: "What do you expect to gain form this, Lucius?".

"Oh, I expect many things, Severus. Not least to see you die a painful death, but regaining the position I rightfully deserve; the position _you_ stole by returning; is certainly also quite prominent in my mind. And who knows, I might even get to see why it is you insist on keeping that Mudblood..".

Still forcing his ever-rising rage away, Severus viciously snarled: "That may be your expectations, _old friend_, but I'm afraid you will have to see some them left unfulfilled. I have no intention of-". His voice was suddenly cut off by another laughter, this time high-pitched and coming from the doorway.

Slowly turning his head towards the door, Severus met the red eyes of the Dark Lord. One look at his face was enough to convince Severus that he had heard enough to realize that Severus had fooled him once again.

He didn't even have a chance to raise his wand before the cold voice had shouted the stupefying charm.

* * *

Hermione's second incounter with Voldemort was by no means been any less horrible than the first, but at least she was able to keep herself under control this time; she looked straight ahead of her, stubbornly ignoring to listen to his usual insulting nonsense, and only when his cold fingers roughly grabbed her chin, did she flinched. 

After he had finished with his degradation of her, he left the room. Soon thereafter a masked Death Eater appeared in the doorway, throwing a black bundle of something into the room and slamming the door after him. Staring at the bundle for a couple of seconds, having half-way convinced herself that it was probably dangerous to her in some way, she finally got up the courage to walk over to it and look at it.

Just two feet away from the bundle it suddenly stirred, revealing a pale face covered in sweat; a face with a scar on the forehead. "Harry!", she breathed, dropping to her knees and gently shaking his shoulder. "Please wake up, Harry, _please_!".

He mumbled something inaudible, his voice sounding as hoarse as if had he been screaming for hours. Feeling the tears filling her eyes, Hermione angrily wiped them away and shook Harry more forcefully. He still did not wake up. Giving him a last shake, a broken sob escaped her and she let her hands fall to her side.

Feeling like an idiot for reacting so strongly, Hermione sat down on the floor beside Harry. Staring around her in the desolate room she was trapped in, she felt utterly miserable. The same thoughts kept going around in her mind, not matter how hard she tried to get herself to stop thinking.

_It's all my fault.. Somehow this is all my fault.._

The tears filled her eyes again, this time unchecked by her anger. Desperately trying to fight off the feelings of hopelessness and a loneliness so deep, that it was as is she was the only person in the world, Hermione buried her head in her arms, fighting a losing battle against the tumbling fall into the whirlpool of despair and despondency inside of her.

The view from the top of the Astronomy Tower of Hogwarts suddenly swam into view in her mind, and a sudden guilt of not ending it that night, of not jumping while she had the chance, filled her. She could not explain where the thought came from, _why_ it came, but that fateful night suddenly stood out clearly in her mind, that night from so long ago.

Hours passed, or perhaps just minutes, and Hermione was suddenly shaken out of her reverie when the door slammed open once again. Jumping to her feet, she could barely hold back an audible gasp when a person was roughly shoved into the room.

Nearly falling over, Severus regained his balance and turned to look at the persons walking in behind him, Lord Voldemort and his faithful servant, Lucius. A vehement hatred was shining out of Severus' eyes, and he looked as if he would have been cursing them into oblivion, had he not been gagged.

"My, my.. It seems as though all of our prisoners have been brought together at last..", the cold voice whispered. Hermione stared at them, horrified.

_He's been found out –oh no-_

"Wormtail!", the Dark Lord yelled. A balding man instantly appeared, bowing deeply to his Lord and muttering: "Yes, my Lord?". Sending his prisoners a last evil look, Voldemort bent down and whispered something to his servant. Straightening up, he said: "Bring them to the meeting room.".

Several Death Eaters stepped through the door. Two grabbed Severus' arms and dragged him along, another heaved the unconscious Harry off the floor and slung him over his shoulder as if had he been a sack of potatoes, and a last forcefully took hold of Hermione's arm and pulled her after them.

Her heart hammering in her chest, Hermione fought hard to pound down the panic rising in her chest. Her mind swimming over with horrid pictures of the gruesome deaths, she would be sure to witness in perhaps just a few minutes, she fought for breath and tried to keep her head clear.

Walking down a long corridor, she saw that they were being led into the same room Severus and herself had been led to the first time they were brought before the Dark Lord. The fear increasing with every footstep, she closed her eyes briefly and desperately prayed that they would make it out alive.

* * *

He was pushed into the room with a vicious shove and once again nearly lost balance. Remaining on his feet, Severus turned around and caught Hermione's eye as she was dragged along after him and the unconscious Harry; wordlessly trying to reassure her, to make her believe that everything would be alright. 

He doubted they would be alive in ten minutes time.

Turning around again to face the Dark Lord, Severus squared his shoulders and held his head up high, determined not to let his desolation and hopelessness show. As his former master walked to the middle of the room, he was filled with a hatred stronger than he had ever known; a hatred against everything this man before stood for: his own youthful stupidity and twisted beliefs, the heinous acts he had performed under Voldemort's service, the inumerable deaths Voldemort was responsible for; the bitter and empty life Severus had imposed on himself, as a result of the racking guilt and self-loathing he suffered under.

"Bring in my loyal followers!", Voldemort yelled, and one of the Death Eaters hurried off. Soon after the Death Eaters began to enter the room, sending the prisoners gleeful and gloating looks from under their protective hoods. As the door was closed after the last person entering, Voldemort spread out his arms.

Looking around at the subservient crowd, the Dark Lord said: "We are here today to bring justice to those who have dared to cross our paths, those who have dared to defy us! Finally I have reached my goal –to make certain that Harry Potter; the so-called 'Boy-who-lived'; will no longer have an opportunity to attempt his foolish tries of resistance. And as an added bonus we have two more to punish –the Traitor and Potter's Mudblood.".

Pointing toward Potter, Voldemort sneered: "Bring forth the boy!".

Grabbing Harry by the arms, two Death Eaters hauled him forward, his head hanging limply against his chest and making him look like a marionette. They threw him on the floor in front of the Dark Lord, and as their master raised his wand, a small jolt of fear going through Severus.

_Is he going to kill him, just like that?_

"Ennervate.", Voldmort said.

Harry's eyes fluttered open and a confused look took hold of him for a few seconds. Realizing where he was, he hurriedly scrambled to his feet, staggering slightly as the sudden movement seemed to make him dizzy. Sending Hermione a pained and saddened look, he shifted his gaze and his eyes caught Severus' for a second.

Something that looked like an apology flittered through Harry's eyes before he looked away. Severus stared unbelievingly at him, jolting back to reality as Potter spoke: "We meet again, Voldemort.". His voice was hoarse, and mockingly polite.

The Dark Lord sneered at him and spat: "Do not attempt your little games, Potter! You may not have noticed, but I have your little Mudblood. I doubt that you have any questions in regard to how I treat filth as her, do you?".

Visibly calming himself, Harry raised his chin, a defiant look across his face. "You can kill us now or you can torture us for eternity –it makes no difference. You will never be anything more than a pathetic, useless fool; there is nothing you can do to change that.".

It was like watching a bomb exploding, only slightly slower. His facial expression changing from ice-cold fury to something indescribably worse, Voldemort spun on his heel to face Hermione, pointing his wand at her and sending of a greenish light before anyone could react.

The world stopped. A breathless splitsecond passed, a splitsecond that might as well have been a thousand years and Severus felt his heart crumbling. His entire life stood out clearly to him –a life filled with bitterness, wasted and filled with numerous what-if's –and he knew that there would be no perpetual bliss, no happy end and nothing more for him to live.

His feet had begun moving without his knowledge, he neither saw nor heard anything as he jumped into either heaven or hell without caring which one he landed in, as long as she was safe, as long as she had a chance. A scream that sounded as though coming from another world ripped through the air, but it went as unnoticed as everything else had as he pushed Hermione aside. The green light hit him straight in the chest and he knew no more.

* * *

Throughout the many hours she had been trapped in this house of evil, Hermione had been close to both panic and depression too many times to count, and she had been certain of imminent death just as many times. The proceedings she was witnessing scared her even more so, if any such thing was possible, a cruel mockery of a legal trial, of justice. 

But when the wand was pointed toward her she felt her heart stop, stop beating for the first time. As if seeing it in slow-motion, she saw a green light shoot out of the wand and streak toward her. Thoughts of friends and family, unfulfilled opportunities and missed chances, thoughts of happy memories and everyday life passed through her mind. A thousand thoughts and none at all, preparing her to die.

Then, as suddenly as lightnening, she was pushed aside and missed the green jet by inches. Falling to the floor, she looked up, uncomprehensing and confused, letting out a scream as she realized which guardian angel had saved her. Watching Severus falling in front of her feet, a savage snarl she didn't recognize as her own escaped from her throat, and she was on her feet in a heartbeat.

Launching herself forward faster than even her instinct could follow, she tumbled into the culprit, the man responible for more deaths than anyone would ever know, and let her fists rain down on him; possessed by a superhuman strength and a rage fiercer than anything.

Taking him by surprise, she hit him squarely on the jaw and made him stagger, he gripped her arms with a feral screech and lifted her physically of the floor. Kicking out as hard as she could, Hermione it him straight in the gut and made him let go. Before any of them had time to make the slightest move, Harry had jumped in front of her, a wand aimed at the heart of the Dark Lord.

"Avada Kedavra". The words were as cold and filled with hatred as everyone of those Voldemort hat uttered, and the look of surprise in the Dark Lord's eyes equal to the one that had filled the eyes of every single one of his own victims. Staring wide-eyed at his attacker, the most evil man on earth fell to the floor while a tremendous eruption of sound filled the house and made it shake to the core, knocking everyone to the floor.

The sound wave only slowly dying down, Hermione sat up gasping; staring around her and not yet comprehensing what had just taken place. Jumping to her feet she let out a scream as the floor started quivering beneath her feet. "We have to get out!", she dimly heard Harry yell next to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her forward.

Suddenly remembering Severus she tried to pull back, tried to turn back and reach him, but Harry wouldn't let go and determinedly heaved her with him. Her limbs shaking from exhaustion and emotional drain, she had no choice but to oblige and followed after him, stumbling.

Whirling through the hall they ran toward the doors to freedom, desperately trying to remember in which direction they should head. Feeling the small sparkle of hope in her diminish, Hermione screamed as a particularly violent tremor ran through the stone floor, and they hurtled out off the corridor.

Miraculously emerging into the entrance hall they sprinted forward and collided with the doors, knocking them open and jumping into the free air outside. Landing on the grass-covered earth their hands were ripped from each others, and Hermione felt the world spinning around her as the force of the knock made her unconscious.

* * *

A sudden quivering ran through the floor Severus was lying on, and he opened his eyes immediately. Sitting up straight, he realized what must be happening; the building was collapsing around him. Instinctly jumping to his feet he nearly lost his balance as the floor trembled again, he regained in at the last moment and turn to the door, hurriedly running through it. He ran as fast as he ever had, his feet thundering against the floor. 

_They must have defeated him –Potter must have done it, he must have killed the Dark Lord-_

Hearing a desperate scream somewhere in front of him, his heart jumped as he recognized Hermione's voice. Hoping against hope that she would make it out of the crumbling house, he headed towards the door, reaching for the moonlight outside.

Three feet from reaching it, a cacophonous roar of tumbling walls reached him from behind. With a last, desperate attempt he bolted forward and tumbled through the open doors and down the steps outside; heaven and earth colliding behind him as the building fell to the ground with a sound like the loudest roar of thunder. Severus landed just outside the dangerous circle of flying wreckage, the entire world collapsing around him and darkness ensuing.

Silence slowly spread under the pale light of the moon.

Lying on the ground, Severus felt his conscience slowly coming back. He allowed a wonderful feeling –punctuated with sharp stabs of pain here and there –to fill him for just a few seconds, a feeling of complete oblivion.

_It is all over.. He is gone, and I am free. Gone for ever… Freedom. _

A particularly sharp pain in his side called him back to reality, and he reminded himself that he did not have time to rest. Pushing himself awkwardly of the ground, Severus opened his eyes and blinked at the blurriness filling his vision for a moment. Rubbing a hand over his eyes the sight before him was revealed.

A fine dust was settling over the ruin of the house and the knee-high grass surrounding it, painting everything in a soft, gray color that made it seem like a huge sculpture of a chaotic battle scene. Looking around him he suddenly felt a small twinge in his chest; he could not see the other two.

Staggering to his feet, he nearly fell down again as the shock of battle hade made his legs weak; he fell to his knees and took a steadying breath. Heaving himself up again, he slowly took a few steps, testing his legs to make sure he wouldn't fall down again. Staring all around him he tried to see where Hermione and Potter were, careful not to let his imagination run wild with images of her bruised and injured body, half crushed under a large piece of the wall, or a part of the roof, or..

The beating of his heart increased as he spotted a small patch of black ahead of him; something that looked suspiciously like a robe. Half stumbling, half running, he hurried forward and fell to his knees beside it. Hecticly, almost feverishly, he pushed the rubble away, getting a better hold of the black fabric.

"Hermione!". Her name left his lips as a hoarse croak; barely heard in the still of night. As he pushed a particularly large piece of rubble away, his heart jumped. He pulled at the fabric, only to discover that it was only a small piece, a piece torn of a robe. The sickening feeling spreading in him was almost unbearable.

A small sob suddenly emitted from somewhere. Half dazed with pain, Severus didn't register it at first. Then, slowly, his mind began to function again and his head snapped up, his black eyes wildy searching around him. On his feet again he stumbled forward, instinctively following the sound. Running faster as the sound increased, he came to a halt as he rounded a halfway fallen wall.

Hermione was sitting in the grass fifty feet ahead of him, covered in dust and sobbing into her arms, rocking back and forth. Taking a tentative step forward, Severus instinctively called out her name, louder when she didn't seem to her him and then almost yelling as he began to run.

_She needs me, I have to get to her; she needs me-_

Abruptly stopping he could only stare. Seemingly emerging from no where, Potter was suddenly by her side. Wrapping his arms around her, the younger man spoke to her in a low voice, apparently trying to soothe her. Looking up at Harry, the moonlight sparkling in her tear-streaked face, Hermione threw her arms around him and cried into his shoulder.

Severus' brain was again working too slow, he could stare ahead of him without really seeing anything. He suddenly realized that his knees were back on the ground, and that his vision had become oddly blurred again. His conscience slowly slipping away, a cooling darkness spread before his eyes.


	14. The End

Well, I said I post this before HBP, heh.

First of all, I would like to apologize for taking so long to write this chapter. Between computer problems and real life I just didn't have the time or the energy to write. Furthermore I went back and looked over the previous chapters of this story and found several things I'm unhappy about, many of them tempting me to abandon this story. But, since I know how annoying it is to read a story just to find out it has been abandoned, in the end I decided to go on, letting the story take me where it was needed. As I said, there are many things I'm unhappy about in the previous chapters, and also in my previous stories, but I find consolation in the fact that I have only been seriously attempting to write stories for less than a year, and that I'm therefore not as good a writer as I hope to become some day.

I'm still not completely happy about this chapter either, but it's most likely not getting any better, so I have decided to post this before losing my nerve.

Thank you to all who have reviewed throughout this story, and also to those who might review after this chapter.

Disclaimer: Everything except plot belongs to JK Rowling.

**UF 14 - The end.**

Hermione stared out onto the moonlit grounds, deep in thought. She had returned to Hogwarts with Harry no more than two hours earlier, and had barely had time to think the events of the previous days through. Now, however, she had nothing but time as she stood in the empty Infirmary and stared out of the windows.

She had answered Dumbledore's questions as well as she could manage when they came back, ensured that there had been no more casualties since she had left, and then left Dumbledore and Harry alone to discuss what ever they wanted to discuss. Wanting to avoid running into anyone she had wandered more or less aimlessly through the corridors until she had found herself outside the Infirmary. Surprised at the direction her thoughts had taken her; she none the less peered inside the room and was surprised to find it empty. She had moved to the window, staring at the grounds.

_It's odd.. So many lives have been spared, so many of my friends have made it through this war, and yet.._

Yet something felt wrong. One person hadn't made it through, one of the few people Hermione had come to care about, more than anything else. Lost in the final battle, when it had seemed he had finally had a chance for a life.

Turning away from the window she wiped the tears from her eyes and walked out of the Infirmary, closing the door, mere seconds before the fire in Infirmary fireplace roared and someone stumbled out.

* * *

An odd light was flickering just out of reach. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to know what had happened, too afraid of the answer he would receive if he dared to ask the questions roaming through his mind.

So he stayed still.

* * *

Sitting on the bench in the small courtyard, staring into the brightening sky, Hermione was deep in thought. She barely noticed the world around her, and it wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she realized she was no longer alone.

"Oh, hello Harry.", she said, her voice tired and her smile not quite reaching her eyes. Harry sat down beside her and sent her a worried look.

"Hermione.. How are you doing?". His voice was low and strained with concern. Staring at him Hermione didn't know what to say, and it took her several seconds to react. "Oh, I'm.. I'm fine, really. I'll be fine.". Her voice sounded uncertain, even to herself.

Looking apprehensive, Harry visibly steeled himself to say something. Opening his mouth, his voice failed him, and he had to take a deep breath before asking: "I'm not sure.. Hermione, I'm not sure how to ask this, but.. Do you remember what curse.. I mean, did you hear what curse Voldemort sent at you? Which curse it was that hit Sn-".

"I really don't know what difference that makes, Harry.". Suddenly finding herself on her feet and feeling her heart pounding hard in her chest, she could only stare at her friend before her, as her voice shook slightly.

_How dare he say something like that, how dare he when there's no hope.._

Suddenly sick of looking at the expression on Harry's face, somewhere between deep concern, wild hope and melancholy, Hermione turned around and stared ahead of her. She had no idea what Harry was talking about, but if this was his idea of making her feel better..

"I'm not so sure that it was the killing curse, Hermione.". Harry's voice cut through her thoughts, and she whirled around to face him again. He hadn't moved, but his eyes had taken on a harder glint, as he looked up at her. "Voldemort never spoke the words of the curse, and other spells exists that look like it.".

Staring wildly at her friend, Hermione felt a small hope creep into her heart, then disappear as suddenly as it came. "Even if it wasn't Avada Kedavra, Harry, he was still in the house when it collapsed. No one could have survived-". Her voice broke and she stared at her feet, determined to get her emotions under control.

"Even so, I'm not going to give up hope.", Harry whispered. His voice softening, she could hear him standing up from the bench. "I'm going to keep searching, Hermione. I may have hated him all those years, but I can't just leave him for dead. I can't.".

Closing her eyes for a moment, Hermione took a deep breath before looking up and seeing the door swing softly shut behind her friend.

Feeling as if her world had turned upside down for the fiftieth time in far too short a period of time, she stared at the closed door with all kinds of thoughts going through her mind. Was it possible, could it really be true..?

Determinedly shaking her head to clear her head, Hermione sat down on the bench again and stared into the sky.

* * *

"Welcome back, Severus.". A serene voice cut through the hazy fog surrounding him as Severus opened his eyes. The momentary confusion he felt slowly abated, and as he looked around him he found that he was in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts. Staring at the Headmaster sitting beside the bed, he had no idea what to say.

"You must be a bit confused.", the Headmaster chuckled, leaning forward and taking a water jug from the nightstand next to the bed, pouring some water into a goblet and holding it out for Severus to take. Not knowing what else to do, Severus accepted the goblet and took a sip.

"What.. what happened..?", he mumbled, finally getting a few of his thoughts sorted out. "The last thing I remember is running out of the house after.. After being hit..". He stared at the Headmaster, his mouth suddenly dry. "I should be dead, Albus! I was hit with the Killing Curse, why am I not dead?".

To his surprise the Headmaster began to laugh. "You were obviously not hit with the Killing Curse, Severus.".

"But I jumped in front of the curse about to hit Hermione -oh Merlin, is she alright?". A sudden wave of fear made him sit up straight, regretting this immediately as his head began to pound. The Headmaster smiled kindly at him and, with the usual twinkle in his eyes, said reassuringly: "You have no need to worry. She and Harry arrived here at the school a few hours before you did, and they are quite all right. I daresay they will be even better once they hear about your return.".

His mind still swimming over with thoughts, Severus furrowed his brow. "Wait.. How did I get here? I have no memory at all of getting here".

"That is quite understandable, since you weren't actually conscious.", the Headmaster chuckled. At Severus' inquiring look, he continued: "Ginny Weasley found you and made sure you got her safely.". Staring at the older man, Severus couldn't get any of this to make any sense, and scowled at the confusion he felt. Disbelievingly, he asked: "Ginny Weasley? What on earth do you mean by that, Albus?".

"Well, it seems Ms Granger and Ms Weasley made an agreement, before Ms Granger and yourself left. In case the two of you did not return, Ms Weasley was to set out and search for you. I believe they agreed on waiting a week, though Ms Weasley felt rather impatient and left after no more than three days.". He paused and shook his head slightly, not completely able to keep his eyes from twinkling. "Though I must say I would have done my utmost to stop Ms Weasley had I known of this, it seems it was a good thing after all. She managed to trace Ms Granger and yourself, and arrived at the destroyed house not long after Harry and Ms Granger had left. Not knowing this, she searched the ruins and discovered you.".

Pausing again, the Headmaster looked at Severus, this time looking sombre. "I believe you owe Ms Weasley your thanks, Severus. Had she not found you, you would most likely not have been discovered for several days. With the degree of exhaustion you suffered under when brought in, you would not have survived a night in those ruins. Ms Weasley is quite exhausted herself, and has taken some Dreamless Sleep potion on the advice of both her mother and Madam Pomfrey, to ensure that she get some rest".

At the same moment Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office and, seeing that Severus was awake, started before saying admonishingly to the Headmaster: "Why didn't you tell me he was awake, Albus?". Hurrying back into the office she send the Headmaster an annoyed look, and returned a few moments later, her arms laden with various bottles.

The Headmaster stood from the chair he was sitting in and said: "I had better go find Ms Granger and Mr Potter, and inform them of your awakening.". With a last chuckle he left the room, leaving Severus to the Medi-witch's tender mercies.

* * *

A hand on her shoulder was gently shaking her awake. Hermione sat up, momentarily disorientated, and then realized that she was still in the courtyard. She had fallen asleep on the stone bench it seemed, and the sun was now high in the sky.

"Good morning Ms Granger. A usual place to sleep, I must say.". The Headmaster's kind voice sounded above her, and Hermione slowly sat up, her body aching from the uncomfortable sleeping place. "Good morning, Headmaster.", she mumbled, shifting on the bench so that he could sit down beside her.

"I have some news for you, Ms Granger, news I am certain you will be glad to hear.". The Headmaster turned to look at her, and she frowned at his smile, not knowing what to expect. The Headmaster continued to smile and said: "Earlier today Ms Weasley happened to arrive in the Infirmary, bringing someone with her.".

Her heart skipped a beat, but Hermione didn't say anything. Still smiling, the Headmaster continued: "She brought Severus back with her. Alive, Ms Granger.".

Not believing what she heard, Hermione jumped to her feet and stared at the Headmaster. "But, how.. I mean, the Killing Curse, he was hit.. How?".

"It seems that Severus was hit with something other than the Killing Curse. I have a few ideas of what it might have been, but I don't know anything for certain, and I doubt we will ever know. He is in the Infirmary now, awake. I suspect you might want to see him?".

Running out of the courtyard, Hermione was certain she heard the headmaster chuckling behind her.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey had left him alone at last, and he had spent the following time trying to remember what had happened. It had taken a while, but in the end he got his mind to cooperate. The bad thing about this, however, was that when he finally remembered the last few minutes before he passed out, he also remembered the feelings he had when he saw Hermione and Potter together. Which were not good feelings at all.

After seeing Hermione with her friend, it all became clear to Severus. How he could ever have thought he might be able to belong in her life was beyond him. She should be with Potter; they clearly had feelings for each other. And even if that didn't work out, she should be with someone else her own age, and it was stupid of him to even think..

Looking up when the Infirmary door banged open, Severus was surprised to find Hermione Granger standing in the doorway, looking dishevelled and staring at him as though seeing a ghost. Taking two steps into the Infirmary, she stopped again and stared at him, apparently unable to say anything.

"Hello, Ms Granger.", he said, not certain what else to say to her. She was still staring, and he didn't know what to do. This, more than anything, made him certain that he'd assumed right about her and Potter. She clearly didn't want anything else to do with him.

Finally, to break the awkward silence, he cleared his throat and said: "Well, I am glad to see you are alright, Ms Granger. Good day to you.". Without really realizing he had reverted back into the cold Professor persona, and he turned away from her quickly, not wanting her to see that it was nothing more than a mask.

* * *

Walking calmly out of the Infirmary was just about one of the hardest things she had ever done. Determinedly keeping the tears out of her eyes, she walked out of the room, breaking into a run only when she was a floor away from the Infirmary.

Taking refuge in the same small courtyard she had slept in earlier, Hermione once again stared at the sky. She would have thought that Severus would have been happy to see her, but he had acted as if everything that had ever happened between them had been forgotten.

It had hurt her more than she would ever admit when he had spoken to her in that cold voice, the one he usually saved for the classroom, and she just couldn't understand what had brought about this change in him.

_It must have been the near-death experience..._

He must have realized, when he woke up and remembered nearly losing his life to save her, that he just didn't feel anything strongly enough to risk his life for her.

Holding back a sob, Hermione buried her head in her arms and cried.

* * *

Later that day Severus was well enough to leave the Hospital Wing. He went straight to the Headmaster's office, determined to go through with his decision. Sitting down opposite the Headmaster, he shortly told him his intentions.

Pausing to see the reaction of the older man sitting on the other side of the desk, Severus wasn't surprised to see sadness on the Headmaster's face. A moment passed before the Headmaster said: "I have no way of stopping you., Severus, but are you really certain you want to do this?".

"I am quite certain, Albus.".

"Very well, then. I see no other choice than to accept.", the Headmaster said.

Getting up from his chair, Severus nodded curtly and strode out of the room. Pausing in the doorway, he turned back and said, his voice suddenly a bit unsure: "Thank you Albus, for everything you've ever done for me.".

Not waiting for an answer, Severus hurried from the room, suddenly desperate to get away from the mixture of hurt and confusion on Albus' face.

* * *

Having dried her eyes, Hermione walked out of the courtyard and headed toward her rooms. She didn't knowif they would be accessible to her since she wasn't officially a student any longer, but had decided to give it a try.

She was hoping to avoid running into anyone else, but felt far too tired to actually worry about it. Still deep in thought she barely noticed when someone called after her, and it wasn't until a particularly yell broke the silence around her that she noticed Harry running after her, trying to catch up.

"Hermione, I have great news!", he panted as he skidded to a halt beside her. "Snape's alive, he's in the Hospital Wing right now-".

"I know.". Hermione smiled at Harry, unable to keep an unexpected bitterness out of her voice. Trying to ignore the rather confused look on the face of her friend, Hermione turned away from him and asked, her voice slightly strained: "I'd really like a bit of sleep, Harry, could this wait until later?".

"Hermione, what's wrong?". Harry's voice had turned from exceedingly happy to deeply concerned, and Hermione felt unable to lie to her friend. "I went to see him.. He was.. He acted as though nothing had ever happened.".

Looking concernedly at his friend, Harry asked: "Let's go into your rooms and talk this over.". Smiling tiredly at her friend, Hermione found that the idea of confiding her confusion in Harry didn't feel as wrong as she would have thought, and she followed him into the rooms.

* * *

Severus looked around his quarters again. He was certain that he had packed everything he would need in the immediate future, and he was planning on returning later to pack the last things anyway. Sighing deeply, he pulled out his wand and reduced his trunk so that it would fit inside his pocket, and picked up the cage with Larissa.

He pretended he didn't notice the wondering looks he received from the few of his colleagues he passed on his way to the Entrance Hall, keeping his gaze firmly in front of him. Walking down the stairs, he almost paused and looked back. Forcing himself to go on, he continued down the stairs.

A few feet away from the gates he heard an angry shout from behind him and he turned, surprised, when he saw Harry Potter running toward him. Despite feeling pretty certain that he wasn't going to like what ever it was potter had to say to him, he none the less stopped.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Snape?", the younger man shouted as soon as he was within hearing distance. "Dumbledore says you've quite your job and that you're going away?".

Surprised at how fast the news had spread, Severus was momentarily taken aback. Then, rearranging his features into the usual scowl, he glared down Potter. "What are you talking about, Potter?", he sneered. Undaunted, the younger man came to a stop in front of his former Professor and snarled: "You know damn well what I'm talking about -what do you think you're doing treating Hermione like that?".

_How dare he -he already has her, how dare he-_

Again taken by surprise, Severus stared at his former student. "Potter.. You better watch how you're talking to me.". Clenching his teeth together, Severus fought hard against the wave of fury welling up inside him. "I know very well what the nature of the feelings between yourself and Ms Granger are, and I will not stand here and listen to your shouting futile accusations at me.".

With a last scathing look at the young man before him, Severus turned around and walked out of the Hogwarts grounds, certain that he would never set foot not it again and completely ignoring Potter's surprised shout from behind him.

* * *

Feeling rather better after having talked to Harry, Hermione went down to the Great Hall; hoping dinner would still be on the table. Luckily it still was, and she sat down at the Gryffindor table, feeling a bit silly since she wasn't actually a student of the house any longer, but not knowing where else to sit. The Great Hall was virtually empty, save for the Hufflepuff ghost of the Fat Friar

Halfway through her meal, the doors of the Great Hall burst open, and Harry stormed into the Hall. "Come with me, now-", he said, dragging her to her feet and ignoring her protests. "Harry, what on earth is going on -where are taking me?.

Ignoring her completely, Harry dragged her with him out of the Great Hall, the fat Friar staring after them and Hermione still protesting. He hauled her down the stairs, mumbling: "You'll see, I wont let that idiot ruing everything because of that..", seemingly oblivious to Hermione's confusion.

Hurrying through the gates of Hogwarts, Hermione gave up on protesting and let herself be dragged along, planning on hitting Harry hard on the head as soon as he stopped, and then asking him what on earth he was thinking. Grumbling this to herself, she saw the village of Hogsmeade pass by in somewhat of a blur as they hurried along.

Coming to a halt at last, Hermione pulled her arm out of Harry's grasp and made to hit him, when he grasped her by the wrist and turned her around. Staring ahead of her Hermione couldn't hold back a gasp as she realized that they were standing at the train platform, and that Severus was standing a few feet from them with a trunk, staring at them.

"Severus.. What are you doing?", she asked before she could stop herself, completely taken aback at seeing him there, apparently waiting for the train. He stared at her for a few seconds, and then visibly pulled himself together, answering in the same cold voice he had used earlier in the Hospital Wing. "I am waiting for the train, Ms. Granger.".

"Tell him what you feel about me, Hermione.", Harry suddenly cut in from behind her. Turning around and frowning at her friend, Hermione feebly mumbled: "Harry, what..". "Tell him if you love me as a friend or as something more, Hermione, I want him to know.". He was staring past her, his eyes fixed on Severus.

Still not understanding, Hermione asked: "But, why..? What's this about..?".

"He thinks that we're going out, Hermione, that's why he's leaving. That's why he's being such an ass to you.", Harry shouted, his angry voice reverberating across the train platform. Turning back to Severus, Hermione could only stare at him. It suddenly made sense, it all made sense. If he thought she was with someone else.

"Is that true, Severus?", she asked, her voice quiet. Severus simply stared at her, his black eyes completely unrevealing. After a long pause, he asked, his voice as quiet as hers: "Well? What are your feelings for Potter?". His voice was completely unreadable.

Suddenly not able to hold back the relief that welled in her chest, Hermione started laughing. Severus' eyes closed for a second, apparently seeing this as a confirmation of his fears, but before he could open them again, Hermione had closed the distance between them and flung her arms around him.

"You silly man," she mumbled as she held on to him, ignoring the fact that he had tensed as soon as she had touched him, "how on earth could you think that there's anything more than friendship between me and Harry? He's not the one I want, Severus, you are..".

Slowly Severus relaxed, and let his arms slide around her waist. His voice still unreadable, he asked: "Are you sure, Hermione?". Pulling back slightly, Hermione smiled up at him and said: "I am completely sure, Severus.".

He enveloped her in his arms again, and for the first time in a long while, Hermione finally felt like something had gone right.

THE END.


End file.
